She knew she feared something but couldn’t figure out what it was.
Maybe it was rejection, the idea of someone not wanting her was a bit hard to swallow for she had always been wanted by someone.
Maybe it was being alone, she had never been alone, for as long as she could remember there has always been someone there.
Maybe it was acceptance, she already knew that at times she tried too hard, she gave too much, she shared too much, she expressed too much.
She also knew that at times she was heartless, rude, careless and too honest.
So maybe, just maybe…
She feared rejection?
Maybe she feared loneliness?
She feared not being accepted?
But by who?
Maybe it was just atelphobia.
Atelphobia for her future, it sounded right but she still didn’t understand it.
Living the dream.