Month: July 2013

Anything rushed has a chance of failure…

image

I threw a surprise babyshower for my sister yesterday and to my experience it all worked out and looked wonderful!:)
After the party was over and we finished cleaning up my family and I along with my uncle and auntie and other family members sat around just hanging out.
My uncles wife said to me..
“Wow Kelsey this was the nicest shower Ive ever been to, you really have an eye for creativity when is it your turn?”
Of course I burst out in laughter that I almost spit out the water I was drinking…
and I said to her…
“Anything rushed has a chance of failure, my boyfriend and I have only been together for a year and a half, you dont truly know someone at a year and a half and starting a life together right now would be stupid…”
Well everyones ears went up and my uncle said “Your grandma got married at 15 years old had 16 of us and only loved one man and was with one man till the day he died… your 23, in mexico people would be wondering whats wrong with you?”
I just laughed and said “well maybe I’m a weird tio” and ended the conversation there…
Talking to them would be setting myself up for a head ache and annoyance because they are so old school its either that or ignorant (no offense I still love them all)
Now don’t get me wrong I’m not saying that all people that get married young or have kids at a young age are setting them selves up for failure but what I am saying is that you shouldn’t have to rush into anything thats real when its real it just happens and it will stay that way no matter what happeneds.
When love is true it lives in your heart forever no matter what…

“Rushing to live for the now instead of looking to live for forever” is the mistake many people in todays generation are making…

And thats why divorce has increased to the extream in this decade…

Although Im so excited for my soon to come niece, my sister can vouch for me that when she told me she was pregnant I flipped, and her and her boyfriend have been together for over 5 years now but I still believed they should have waited.

You see I believe that LOVE is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have known each other for a quarter of a century. However Im not stating that I’m going to wait a quarter of a century to have kids or get married but I am going to make sure before I take any of these steps that the love I have with me is a gift not a need. I’m going to make sure that Im getting married or having kids with the person that I’m with for all the right reasons, not for money or benefits, or to rush into it because I want to get married and have a big pretty wedding, and definetly not because Im trying to fill in a hole that is empty and is telling my body that there is something missing.
And Im definetly not going to rush and have kids because I want to be a “young” mom or rush into getting married because Im getting “old”

You see I came from a family with a single mom, my dad left when I was five and my step dad was around for many years but that also fell apart.

My mom didnt know my father for more than 2 years before they decided to conceive me and although her and my step dad dated for a long time because of his job he was never really around for her to really get to know him…

I want my life to take a diffrent path, I want my kids to know their father and I want to get home to a husband I can kiss who after all the kids and years passed I could still be in-love with and be happy with.
I dont want to be unhappy sleeping in a separate bed before our 25 year anniversary and I dont want to be sharing custody and arguing who has the kids next weekend.

I know that waiting doesn’t guarantee success in marriage or motherhood, however I believe that to know the hole beautiful story a book has to tell you must read every single chapter and page. Therefore same goes with relationships you have to be apart of different chapters in someone’s life to see how they act and grow in order to write your own book of that story…

Wishing all the best in every chapter;
Kbeautifulmind

Advertisement

Just keep Swimming

image

As many of you may know my mother has Cancer, Lung Cancer Stage 4.
Although all we have heard is its not curable we can only try pro long her life, something in me doesn’t settle for these answers and something in her doesn’t settle either shes a fighting warrior and will continue to fight till the end.
Since my mom was diagnosed I’ve done my research from reading stories, about other treatments, to EVERYTHING I’ve dedicated alot of my time to this disease and I guess trying to understand it and find some answers.

When I found out about how long your hair had to be to donate it and where I could send it in, I also came across a story about this beautiful girl by the name of Talia.
Talia was a young girl that at the age of about 8 years old was diagnosed with Cancer.
What the hell do you even know at age 8?
I mean your suppose to be playing outside, wearing your moms heels and lip sticks not laying in a bed fighting for your life!
This young girl was something else, she was strong, and just different from other young girls. Talia forgot the fact that she was sick, forgot the fact that she was bald and pushed through fighting for 6 years straight in the best mood she could ever be. She inspiring young girls and all people around the world to see the true beauty of life. She said she will not let this bring her down or let her be depressed because a little fish once told her to “Just keep swimming”
She called her self “The Bald Girl” and inspired people by showing her true beauty as one of gods angels. She did make up tutorials on YouTube, She was a host on Ellen’s Show and was also an inspiring face for the cover on “Cover Girl”
This morning at only age 13 at 11:22am Talia earned her wings. God decided she was good to go and took his angel with him to watch over the rest of us down here.

I’ll never understand this disease, but what I do understand now is god picks his warrior who he knows could handle what he is giving them and Talia was just another warrior in this world…
R.I.P TaliaJoy

and remember everyone no matter what your going through…

“Just keep Swimming”♥

Kbeautifulmind

Can Guys and Girls be Best Friends?

image

Now I don’t fully agree that “Guys and Girls cant Be Bestfriends”
But I do believe that if this is your situation you first must know “HOW” to be a Best Friend to someone of the opposite sex…
Now it doesn’t have to do with jealousy or insecurity and people who disagree with this theory will like to say it does…
But you see the thing is that I just believe in a level of respect when it comes to being in a committed relationship no matter the situation….
Somethings you dont allow, you dont do, some lines you dont cross and some shit just doesn’t slide…

Let me set the scene…
It’s Friday afternoon my boyfriend is working so I am free for the evening. I give my bestfriend a call and we head out for some shopping at the mall. I’m looking into buying a new dress so I need help deciding which one looks good. I cant seem to zip up one of my dresses so I call my bestfriend into my fitting room to help me zip it up. My bestfriend zips up my dress getting a full preview of my lace rather sexy underwear and my bare back. We then share some ice cream and head back to my place for dinner, wine and a late night talk.

Now the scenario above is probably typical for two girls, I mean where else did the “sleep over” idea come from?
However imagine if my bestfriend was a guy? A heterosexual guy. Doesn’t seem quite so normal now does it?

I mean if I was single then we’d just look like a couple but again it says Im in a relationship so wouldnt I be crossing some boundaries?
I mean what if one of my boyfriend’s friends is at the mall and sees us sharing that ice cream?
or even worse…
My boyfriends sister and mom are also shopping and see another guy zipping up my dress?
How would that make me look? How would that make my bestfriend look? How can this jeopardize my relationship? Or my friendship?
And this is where my question comes in, Can guys and girls be best friends? If so how?

Well you see I have plenty of guy friends one in particular is like my best friend. And many of my guy friends have girlfriends, this including my bestfriend Andrew.
So what does my friendship consist of and what do I do to not cross the line of respect to him and our relationships?

First of we have met the others partners, we text once in a while saying hello and seeing how the other is doing…
and no this dosnt mean “Hey Sexy I miss you bestfriend, How have you been?”
If we hang out we will grab a bite or coffee and just catch up, we dont go on date nights or text late telling each other how much fun we had getting drunk together…
And if we ever have or would go bar hoping or clubbing we would make it a group thing and tell the other to invite the girlfriend/boyfriend.
I never text him saying “I wish you were here”, “I miss you, come feed me and you can rub my belly.”

We not only value and respect our friendship and each other but we also value and respect our significant others.

All Im stating is that unless your inlove with your bestfriend or want your friendship to end in total awkwardness….
There is just some lines you don’t cross, you should know your boundaries and level of respect.
Be the bestfriend their boyfriend/girlfriend loves not the one she/he sees as a chump.
And if your the bestfriend in the relationship and find yourself wanting to spend more time with your bestfriend then your singnificant other then maybe you need to check your feelings ASAP.

Because in my opinion, no good can come from having a very close bestfriend of the opposite sex with no boundaries.  It can lead to jealousy, awkwardness, heart aches, or even infidelity.
And if your reading this saying “This is not true, it is totally different with my best friend and I”
and you guys have no boundaries then chances are their significant other already doesn’t like you…
and I suggest you get it together, or start thinking long and hard on why you are bestfriends because it could be that one of you or both of you are kidding yourselves.

Kbeautiful♥mind.

Hospital sleep overs

image

I find it really funny that I cant seem to wake up for the gym at 5am but Ive been up since 4:30 this morning…
Someone get me a big bed please!
I’m actually really really tired I can feel it but my brain is telling me “no more sleep for you missy!”
Man oh man are Hospitals so uncomfortable to sleep in. My moms still asleep and although she has her bed to herself she looks uncomfortable too.
She claims to be feeling a little better her face expression seems to say other wise.
Today is her offical birthday and I much rather have took her out for a manicure and pedicure and some lunch….
Maybe I can just give her a pedi myself when she gets out of here if we ever do…
I understand this place is busy but I find it so annoying when they been promising us a doctor since yesterday at 6pm and her doctor is “unavailable” so that doesn’t help…
All I want today is…
1. For her to feel better
2. For the doctor to hurry up
3. To be able to know whats going on and what is our next step
4. To take her home with a positive vibe and good hope
5. To be able to celebrate her for a bit even if its just a small cake and some flowers and balloons
6. To see her smile at least once today

Sitting here waiting for the man in the white coat…

Kbeautifulmind

Oh Cancer how I hate you, your giving me white hairs…

image

Hospitals Hospitals are so creepy.
Its Friday afternoon and its my moms fake Birthday technically her Birthday is tomorrow but once upon a time she had a sister who was born today a year before her and died. When my mom was born my grandma made the decision to give her the same name so when she came to the United States my mom brought with her the wrong birth certificate… I know weird right?
But anyways thats all in the processed of getting fixed but her birthday is really tomorrow.
Im waiting for results on my moms cat scan and X rays, and I came to the bathroom and I have 3 white hairs, oh god did that make me feel old… but I know its the stress…
Last night my mom was having alot of chest pain and got really sick “looking” on me, I began to worry but she said to wait it out so we did…
I couldn’t sleep just keeping an eye on her and making sure she was okay…
I began to think again how unfair this was, Why does a 46 year old lady who worked hard her whole life deserve to have it end like this? I mean Im not saying anyone deserves this sickness but you would think that some people deserve a easy path after all the hard ones they have encountered right?
Sometimes I get frustrated I know I shouldn’t question god or why he does the things he does but sometimes I just wish I could understand or get a little sign that everything is going to be okay…
Really dont know how to feel right now except for the fact that Im kind of annoyed I had to call out of work because we need any money we can get. Im annoyed she couldnt start her chemotherapy this morning and Im annoyed how long it takes to wait for all this stuff…
But then again I’m glad to now be spending her fake birthday with her even if its in this cold hospital.

Just a little venting,

Kbeautifulmind

What does it take?

image

It’s 1:30 in the morning and I should probably be sleeping with the fact that I am suppose to be up at 5 in the morning to hit the gym…
If my friends are reading this…
Sorry guys I’ll see you Friday morning instead…
The truth is I was so tired after tonights gym session but then I watched a movie “Temptation” by Tyler Perry and oh man was it good…
But of course my psychological mind (I swear Im crazy sometimes) began to think, and I mean really think about cheating, cheaters, relationships that fall apart and “What does it take?” for them to fall apart and or work out after dramatic obsticles in their relationships…
I mean its a interesting thing, look at “The Notebook” in their story whats ment to be is ment to be so they found each other again…
So back to “Temptation”
I began to wonder if only had her husband appreciated her and cherished her noticed her instead of getting use to her being there then this guy would have never even caught her eye, then if the main actress  had not gotten HIV had she and her husband been able to work it out after they realized the issue? And then I began to wonder why does it have to go that far why do you need to break up or screw it all up before you realize what the issue was?
The truth is that this type of stuff happens more often then it should (except for the getting HIV part) people in this generation cheat like its the thing to do.
I met a girl once who cheated on her boyfriend of a long time with this guy that like in the movie excited her and made her feel “alive” she ended up getting pregnant by the other guy having to abort because he didn’t want anything to do with her and although the boyfriend never found out sadly they didnt end up working out either so she ended up alone.
I’ve met plenty of guys who cheat like CRAZY they have new girls all the time you’d think they were single.
I also knew a girl who cheated with in the group she hung out with while her navy boyfriend was out over seas and when he officially came back he proposed, she married him, they had a kid and it was like nothing happened?
But Ive also met people that have been lied to and cheated on and they have had it slapped in their face or have found out and end up letting it slide.
I had a friend once who’s boyfriend wouldn’t exactly cheat but would talk to multiple girls for a good while telling them he missed them, receiving pictures and just over all “trying hard” to impress them…
and yes she knew.
She would tell me that she felt it every time it started again she could feel it in her stomach and everytime she prayed “God if you please let me find proof if you please let me find out, I swear to you I’ll walk away and never look back” She’d tell me “I swear girl if I find out Im right then thats it forget him!”
and yes if you didnt already figure it out…
She would find out EVERY SINGLE TIME! Every time the proof was right in her face and she always forgave him.
Now he has changed alot and has fully dedicated him self as it seems and I use to wonder why she always went back but she saw something in him and Im glad they figured it out and I hope he never does it again.
For the most part I believe some people do cheat for a reason especially if they never have…
I mean imagine being with someone for a long time and he forgot your birthday like in the movie and someone else “the other guy” is sending you flowers…
How the hell are you suppose to feel?
See the thing is, is that most people  cheat because they are missing something or somethings are just so dull and not the same.
People for the most part get comfortable and after the honeymoon stage the romance just dies out…
I feel thats what leads most men and woman to look for excitement else where. I mean yes there is people that are just cheaters or as I like to call them “dogs” ha ha. However most people cheat because they found something in someone that showed them what they were missing.
I personally love romance, love is just a beautiful thing I believe in finding that special person that will give their life for you, that will put you before anything and just wake up every morning and appreciate that they have you by their side. I believe you should always keep the spark going mutually and make sure everyday that your making this person happy.
If then the person still cheats then they dont deserve you but if your not full filling what they need and appreciating them then you know what they say “You don’t know what you have till its gone”
In my conclusion I despise cheaters and liars and Im not perfect but any lie Ive ever told has made me disappointed on myself.
However I believe that everything that happeneds, happeneds for a reason and anyone who doesn’t appreciate you is only missing out on what someone else will be lucky enough to have…

and remember before you cheat or leave try and save it if he/she still dosnt listen then you at least know you tried.

Kbeautifulmind

How does your subconscious pick its taste in music?

image

It’s The fourth of July and I am stuck at work…
But then again money is money no matter the Holiday. Most people spend it more on the Holiday’s anyway…
So Im here listening to music and it made me think, How does my mind and ears decide what sounds they like to hear?
I mean I never really thought of it but almost all of my favorite songs or type of music I like really relates to how I like everything else…
For example Im a sucker for romance and I like soft romantic music weather its in Spanish, Italian, Jazz, soft rock or Pop and especially Country♥
I love all kinds of music but youll never catch me listening to loud rock or club house music, I just cant seem to relate to it and actually find it a bit annoying.
I love Spanish music because it sings to my soul, it represents my culture and it brings back memories of when I was little and my auntie and mom would be singing and cooking in the kitchen as happy as can be. They would pick us up to dance with them twirling us until we’d get to heavy to continue ha ha.
I have a thing for Jazz especially the old school stuff or as deep as a little mix like Frank Sinatra and the newer stuff like Michael Bubble. When I fell in love for the first time Michael Bubble was my go to guy Id turn him up put my window’s down and enjoy the feeling 🙂
Since I discovered him he’s my “happy mood” music.
Country music and hip hop sing to my life and what I want out of it.
Country Music makes me think of a future someday with kids and a house with a big back yard. It reminds me of how much I value life, god, my family, friendship and love.
Hip Hop and rap Ive recently got into but if its the good underground stuff it sort of “pumps” me up and reminds me of my ambition and how no matter what happeneds I will continue to fight on to be successful…
I guess the reason why I find this interesting is because I wonder if you can know a bit about a person just by knowing what music they listen to…
and if so…
What does this say about me to others?

bored and curious;
Kbeautifulmind.

Short hair because I care.

image

“We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.”-Unknown

I cut my hair today!
My purpose ….. to donate it!
and the fact that I’ll feel less hot is a plus of course.
My hair was extreamly long all the way down pass my bottom and now its sholder lenght.
So as you guys can read and see well the truth Im surprised I didn’t cry…
My hair was so long my friends thought I was crazy for cutting it, “you’ll regret it” they said…
But the truth it felt wonderful, I felt a relief, I felt brave and helpful!
It’s my first time donating so I had no idea what to do but seems like I figured it out and “Lock of Love” is going to get this pretty long hair for a even prettier strong little girl♥
When I think of someone else wearing my hair it actually excites me, maybe ill be someones beautiful prom hair due, or picture day or something.
What makes me feel good is that someone out there will be happy and be able to get their mind off the pain for a moment.
I pray that god countines to stand by the side of all our Cancer fighters and may he lead them all along the path of survival.
I thank him for allowing my mom to continue to be by my side and may she continue to have strength to fight on. May he give us peace even when times are hard, may he unite us even more.

I hope Lock of Love puts my hair to good use.

Kbeautifulmind