Month: November 2012

Hello everyone!

So I made my blog so that I could express my thoughts, however my bio also encourages any comments, concerns and questions from the public and tonight I am very happy because I finally received my first email/question!!! smile.

She says:

Kbeautifulmind,

Let me start off by saying that your blog is pretty interesting, I like your posts because you can tell you just write. You don’t try to word them “just right” what you write is truly just you, almost feels like I am having a conversation with you when I read them. I can also relate to them, they remind me of my life which is why I am writing to you to share with you my situation and see what you have to say about it? First off, Hi my name is April! I am a freshman in college and I grew up in a small town where I had a small group of friends and we were all very very very close! Unfortunately we all ended up in different schools and things are just not the same like when we were in high school. I know it has only been one semester but I feel as if I am loosing my friends, I try so hard to call and email and hang out when I can and they are just not putting in the same effort I am! They also have new friends now, I feel as if I am being replaced what should I do?

Hope you you can reply to this in a blog post, cannot wait to read,

April.

Hi April!

I’d like to thank you for the wonderful comment about my blog, I am glad to know someone is actually reading and well to reply to it I do JUST WRITE! Ha Ha I am actually a horrible speller and I can never seem to word things right but I sure can ramble on and on and on! smile.

Well here it goes this post is for you…

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“The past is called the past for a reason”

I’d like to start of by saying that no one should ever give up on anything or anyone in their lives if they feel its/they are worth fighting for, you would rather be saying “I gave it my all and it just didn’t turn out like I expected” than to be saying “I got scared and gave up and now I’m living with the regret”

So my first advise to April is to not give up on your friends tell them exactly how you feel about the situation and how things have turned out and let them know that you do not want to loose their friendship! Always remember communication is key no matter the type of relationship.

Now to better answer your question I’m going to relate to your situation…

I personally have always been a person of different emotions specially when it came to relationships with others.
I am the kind of person that if hurt or rejected I tend to run and let go of the situation instead of facing it and well If I were in your shoes like I have been before Id just feel neglected and run off loosing friendships and the bonds with people who I care about so much.

I think what makes me this way is because I tend to give my all into anything from day one and always build the perfect relationship with others even in just regular friendships. So when I get hurt and I feel betrayed or I begin to feel neglected than I tend to just shut down and I’m no longer who I use to be.

Like April I have had some very close friends some who I stopped talking to because they hurt me and others who I fell apart with, with out understanding why?

and the truth some I missed a lot! Those are the ones who I still tried to connect with. Over the years I tried so hard to communicate with them and hold on to the relationships to try and interact and keep things the same.

However with time I have accepted that “The past is called the past for a reason”. I have accepted that people grown and change and everyone moves on, and I have realized that that’s not such a bad thing. I have also accepted that I myself need to live in the present and look forward to the future. I mean why am I going to dwell on situations and moments I cannot change? There is no reason why I should be trying to re live moments in my life I have already experienced, go places where I have already been and not allowing my self to discover the wonderful new things that await for me.

So with this I leave you April and all other readers…

If there is someone in your life who you are reaching out to, weather it is a group of friends or anyone else and they just aren’t appreciating the attention you are giving them, do not be afraid to continue on with your life specially if you are in a new place like college. You can still discover what life has to offer and hold on to the memories and good times you shared with those people and if they truly care about you they will reach out eventually and make some effort of their own to be apart of your wonderful new life.

April! Don’t sweat it, allow yourself to make new friends of your own and if your friends truly appreciate the bond you guys have build through out the years they will eventually make some effort of their own. However do not forget to talk to them and tell them how you feel as a way of saying you at least “let them know”.

Thank you so much for reading,

Kbeautifulmind

Back to that same old place

Hello everyone;

I’m honestly not sure if I have any regular readers but If I do I’d like to thank you all for reading.

and If I have regular readers than you all know it has been a while since I have written, the truth I have been very busy with school and work and well just plain old life. As a matter of fact I should be doing homework right now but I really felt like writing,smile.

“If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.” – Marilyn Monroe

There is something I have been thinking about for these past days…

I have heard before that we are all destined to live our lives a certain way. I never been a believer of that…

I have always believed that you make your own destiny and what happens to you only happened to you as a result of a decision you made to get there.

I mean could it really be possible that we were born into this world to live a certain way and no matter what we do to try and change it, it will just fall right back into that “same old place”?

I can honestly say that I still do not believe that’s possible…

However sometimes life seems to feel this way…

I like all of us have some regrets in life as well as mistakes I know I have made but for the most part I have learned and asked for forgiveness and if not forgiven I forgave myself and tried to move forward. I also know that some of the worst things that have happened to me with time have to be my karma for any pain I have caused others and myself.

Could it be possible that it is all karma?

I mean there is nothing super awesome about me that makes me better than anyone else but I do know that even after all my flaws and personal issues I make a pretty cool human being and some people would be lucky to have me in their lives.

I still cannot help but feel like no matter how much I try to run away, ignore, or leave the presence of people who are negative, I keep coming back to that same old place. So of course that brings me back to myself and wondering if I’m that bad of a person to deserve such people by my side or if these are the kind of people I attract.

Than I think of my location and my future looks more blurry than it ever has it seems like every day I wake its just a repeat of yesterday and will only repeat its self again tomorrow…

Just back to that same old place…

I ALWAYS say I need to leave this town and eventually I will, I just need the courage to just pack my bags and go and start it all over where no one knows my name.

So till than this place may be the same old place but its definitely not the same old day and I just need to stay positive.

Even though times get hard, and the people by my side arn’t the most appreciative of having me by their side I think that I need for things to happen the way they do, so that I could open my eyes and learn. Learn, grow, and change. Everyday I get the chance to wake I get a chance at another day to better myself, and become the person I was meant to be.

and with this I leave you…

If you are reading this and you don’t feel like your getting anywhere or people around you arnt really appreciating you weather it is your boss, husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, mother, father, sibling or even children do not feel like its your fault. Don’t let these hard times in your life make you feel like your not worth much or even like you deserve it just let it all be a reason to know that you will only continue to become a better YOU.

and that even if you are stuck in the same old place, times will get better and those who do not appreciate you might not be lucky enough to some day even know you.

Thank you for reading;

Kbeautifulmind