About a week ago today, I was sitting at work bored out of my mind! When all of a sudden a man came in to do an upgrade on his phone. My co-worker approached him first so I let her take care of him. I was sitting down, on my phone minding my own business when he asked me “Who are you texting? You have a customer in front of you and you’re on your phone ignoring me, texting away…?”
Anyway, he was teasing me but that got our conversation going and some how we began to talk about god, and life.
This guy was probably the most spiritual person I’ve ever met!
Not only did he see life with such a positive vibe, but he had an open mind to everything.
The man had faith in god, but most importantly he had trust in him.
I know you guys are probably wondering, what is the difference? Because I know I did, and he told me.
He told me that having faith that God will take care of things isn’t enough. Why? Because even though we have faith, we still worry, and stress the situations.
He said “We must trust that God will take care of things by letting it all go and giving it to him to deal with. Yes, it will be hard but if you believe in him, or in something more powerful then us here on earth, then you know that he knows what he is doing? Why he is doing these things? And that even though you are stressed, frustrated, sad there is a purpose or reason for everything!!!”
In that moment I knew he was right, I just had to trust god, not just have faith in him but trust him and know that I am his child and he has my back.
After this nice man left, I couldn’t help but wonder if God had put him in here to speak to me.
You see the night before I was in the shower with a lot on my mind. My mother’s cancer has spread even more and she isn’t eating much lately and it’s honesty breaking my heart.
As I stood there I told god “Look I know I need to be strong, and I know that you only give us “what we can handle” but I can’t handle this anymore! I don’t get why you are doing this to me? What is the purpose behind it all? I just don’t think it’s fair! And I need you to just speak to me and show me that you are listening to me because my prayers seem to feel ignored lately?
And I’m tired, so tired, and I need my momma god! I only have one parent! I need her, you have to make her strong and help pro long her life, please please show me that you hear me!!!!???? You can’t take her away from me god, please you just can’t!”
and well that’s how I was feeling that night…
The next day this man came in to my job, out of all cell phone stores in town. He spoke to me about trusting god, out of all people he could speak to and all subjects he could speak about. He could have just left me alone, got his phone and left. However he spoke to me, and that I think was a sign from god.
Therefor I began to really think and let it all sink in. I couldn’t help to think about what he said about everything having a “purpose” so I began to think about my life, and all I have learned since my mom got diagnosed. I realized I have learned a lot and as crazy sad as it all is, I know it has helped me grow and become a better person.
Then I began to think about the rest of the world and how cancer is everywhere now a days, and with everyone.
Like there is actually “Enough Cancer for Everyone” and everyone that is living with it or knows someone living with it has to be feeling what I am feeling. If not “How are they feeling? What affect has it had on their lives?”
In that moment I grew an interest to know what others were feeling and experiencing do to cancer. I knew that if I could hear the stories of others it would make me stronger. I knew that if I could share the stories of others, it would make other people stronger. It would mean that if one person came across these stories with that lost feeling in their mind, or hearts they might just be able to relate and find that little light they were looking for.
Therefor I have decided to expand my blog, expand it past my exposure of my own personal life. I will be starting a category in my blog with the name “Enough Cancer for Everyone”
A category where I will be sharing the stories in summary of those who care to share with me so that we can show the rest of the world or anyone out there feeling what we are feeling that they are not alone.
I believe that this is all part of my purpose, and I pray that I can make it happen, but I can’t do it with out the stories of others.
If you are interested, email me your story at kbeautifulmind@gmail.com and let’s start making a difference by supporting those that can’t seem to escape this ugly disease.
Hope to hear from someone soon;
Kbeautifulmind