Stop walking in darkness

I have always known I was very fortune to have been raised by a woman like my mom.
I know most of us love our mom’s or dad’s and in our eyes they are the best parents anyone could ever ask for.
But I don’t like to sit here and just state I had the best mom in the world.
I can honestly say that God gave me the best mom in the world for ME.
You see my mom was truly a warrior. Her way of thinking and living life is something that not only has made a positive difference in my life but has also maid a positive difference in the life of others.
She was the kind of person that told it like it is but not to be some “rude” person who says
“That looks ugly on you” just because she dislikes you or has envy for you.
She didn’t speak ignorance, she always kept the other persons feelings in mind and did what she could to truly help them.
She spoke from the heart, she always wanted what was best for those around her and was definitely the perfect friend to have who believed in you despite what you had done or didn’t do.
She lived life with such a positive mind set that she has inspired me and many of those who were lucky enough to be a part of her life to do the same.

I can truly sit here and say I (Kelsey) got super lucky to have been fortunate to be the daughter of that woman because who I am is truly something I couldn’t have been with out her by my side.

From her I have learned to love and see the good in everyone.
To help other’s even if they don’t appreciate it.
To believe in myself no matter what.
But most of all…
She taught me the true meaning of life, something that some people take years to figure out or that unfortunately never figure it out.

Over the past couple of years I wasn’t technically myself anymore. I became very bitter and negative twords life and the plans of God. I’d victimized myself and with negativity I’d ask the same questions over and over again…
“Why me?
What did I do to deserve this?”
I was truly lost and for a while really believed god was being unfair.
Now that my mom is gone and I have still been through a couple of hard times in this life, I am proud to say I am finding myself again. I have decided to stop walking in the darkness and even though she isn’t physically here, I KNOW she is walking me through it.

I have reviewed my life and have decided to focus on what matters.
I now have rediscovered what I have always known.
I know my value, I know my worth and I see my fortunes.
I now wake up happier, and so gratful to be breathing, to be healthy and with the motivation to keep pushing to only get healthier and become happier.

Therefore I write this personal post to give you all some adivse just like my mom would have told anyone in need of it.

The secret to this thing we call life is to find it in yourself to see the good in everything. What you “think” may be something tragic is truly just what you need for your life to progress and become something even better.
What may seem like a bad day, is just a little bump on the road to prepare you for the good to come. Remember that you must stop walking in darkness if you desire to walk in the light. Be gratful and stay humble, appreciate what you have and strive for better because it’s what you need not just what you want. Do what you love and walk in your path of life with your dreams and happiness in mind. See the good in all of your hard times, and get what you can out of them as you use it all to better yourself and your life.

Wishing everyone a wonderful weekend,
-Kbeautifulmind

Help yourself as you help other’s

Today’s society makes the simplicity of life a bit hard. It takes away from the important things in life and can truly take a tole on how to be a honest, loving, generous, humbled and good person.
Society has changed so much that everyone is trying too hard to be something their not instead of being them selves.

The truth is that it’s impossible for all of us to be the same.
Some of us are emotionally stronger then others.
Some have kinder hearts and are more humble, sympathetic, and giving.
Some of us are emotionally unstable that dealing with life is truly a challange.
Some of us are not confident, or we don’t know how to express ourselves that we live our lives lying trying to be something we are not.
We live our lives lying to others thinking we are doing them a favor not realizing we are only hurting ourselves.
And some people are just so ignorant and horrible that we see nothing wrong with the bad we do.

Unfortunately not all of our characteristics are always good and sadly some people will never find it in themselves to change, however some of us can take responsibility and better ourselves so that we don’t allow these people to affect our lives.

I personally am a big believer of fair chances, I give everyone that strolls through my life a fair chance by believing in them, trusting them and trying to see the good in them.
I’ve had people tell me that this is why people walk all over me but the truth is that I think we all have good within ourselves so I believe in others.
We just need to find it and approach it.
Some of us may make mistakes and if no one is believing in us then how are we suppose to see that we need to change our ways?

So what’s my point?

Well… (Sorry as you can tell I am a rambler)

My point is that weather we are trying to change our selves for the better or want to help someone else get better we must understand a couple of things…

1. Self responsibility.
2. Be open minded.
3. Accept our wrongs and the wrongs of other’s.
4. Don’t judge them or ourselves
5. Find a solution.

Self responsibility:

Self responsibility comes with in ourselves and no one else. If we want to change and better ourselves from something we have done or from how we use to be and view things then we must be responsible. We can sit here and blame others for how we are or what we have done but not only is this not true, it won’t get us anywhere.
This view on life doesn’t fix anything it only puts us in this unreal fantasy as we try to convince ourselves that we are good people or we have done right even though we KNOW we are not being the best US.

No matter the reasoning if you’re stuck in this situation you must get out of it.
Weather you KNOW in your heart and soul that you are correct you must be an adult. Realize that what is done is done and take it as a learning experience to better yourself. Take responsibility for what YOU can change and stop blaiming others.

Open minded:
This mostly pertains to those of you trying to help someone else.

Of course there comes a point where you realize that some people will never change and in those cases you just have to let them be and let them learn on their own.
But sometimes all a person needs is someone who can be open minded and who can believe in the potential that is with in them.
As for yourselves, it all depends on how you look at life.
Is the glass half full or half empty?
If you’re open minded and move forward with a positive mindset then that’s how you will accommodate positive change in your life.

Accept our wrongs and the wrongs of others:

Let’s start with you.
Have you done something you know wasn’t right?
Did you hurt someone and there is no way you can take it back now?

First off, it’s not the end of the world!
Second you are human and sometimes we make mistakes but it’s up to you how you move forward with it.
Accept your wrongs, learn from it so you won’t do it again and move forward. Ask for forgiveness even if it’s just out loud in your own presence and live. If you don’t forgive yourself or accept it, you are allowing it to haunt you for a long time or even the rest of your life.

Now, sometimes in this life we are so kind to other’s and those people hurt us, back stab us, take advantage of us, walk all over us, unappreciate us, and break our hearts.
Sadly this is all a part of life, it’s a pain that we are all going to feel at one point. It’s a painful situation in your life that scars you and truly leaves a mark and sometimes you never get the closure or apology you desire.
So what do you do?
Well dwelling or pouting for the rest of your life isn’t an option, so…
Accept the wrongs of those people, take a deep breath and tell yourself
“I forgive them”,
learn something from the experience, and move forward to find the happiness you deserve.
Don’t, I repeat DON’T let this hurt, anger, and sadness take over you!
Holding on to the pain will only hurt you and holding a grudge or hating someone takes up more energy then you need to use on someone or something that shouldn’t matter. 

Don’t judge them or ourselves:

Remember the saying don’t point the finger if the thumb is pointing back at you?

Well, like I said before we are all humans.
Don’t be ignorant to the mistakes of other’s by judging them because you don’t know what it’s like to be in their shoe’s and if you did you wouldn’t want to be judged either.
When we as human beings make mistakes we tend to already feel guilty or shameful for what we have done, therefor you judging them doesn’t make things any better.
Plus you’re not perfect so treat other’s like you hope to be treated if you were ever in their shoes.

Find a solution:

If your trying to help someone then be the friend they need and honestly say the words they need, or find the resources they need to better them selves and become the good people they want to be.

Now remember you can say you’re sorry a million times but that doesn’t mean you truly are unless you show it.
You can also lead a horse to the water but you can’t make him drink it.
So if you want to change then actually do it!
Don’t just say your sorry, BE sorry for all your wrongs, learn from them and don’t do it again.

Wishing everyone a beautiful journey to becoming a better YOU or making a difference into the life of other’s,

-kbeautifulmind

If I Had a Dollar (Why I Am a Feminist)

If I Had a Dollar (Why I Am a Feminist)

This is just amazing!
Iv’e been inspired will definitely be responding to this blog soon!

girl in the hat

image courtesy Devil Doll image courtesy Devil Doll

Because my mother was a painter and a beauty when artists had patrons and a woman like that needed a man to take care of her, so she married a money man.

Because my mother’s mother was a beauty and her mother was, too, and that’s what people said: “She was a beautiful woman,” as if that was the only remarkable thing.

Because I was born in 1966, the year Betty Friedan and others started the National Organization of Women and challenged an industry which required flight attendants to quit if they got married, pregnant, or reached the age of 32.

Because when my mother had me, she stopped painting and started cleaning house and throwing dinner parties and smoking too many cigarettes and crying in the mirror.

Because my mother never told me that I looked pretty because she did not want me to grow…

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“I don’t know how you do it?”
 “How can you be okay after all you’ve been through?”

I do it because no one else is going to do it for me. Because if I desire happiness, if I desire peace in my heart and love I have to find it with in myself.

I’m okay because I have accepted life for what it is. Because I see the beauty in life and I’m grateful for being a live and for the chance god has gave me to breathe again. I’m okay simply because I still have the ability to dream, desire, want and feel.

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger and you can’t truly breathe love and happiness with out inhaling hurt and disappointment along with a little bit of chaos.

-kbeautifulmind

Beautifully unexpected

It was a night of passion,
a night of lust,
something so unexpected,
but they both just couldn’t withdraw.
Neither had done this before, and they knew there wasn’t much to it, but what mattered was that night because in that moment they both had it all.
He had someone to hold to help him forget about his loneliness.
She had someone to kiss that helped keep her mind off the brokenness.
His taste was magnificent it made her want more.
She looked so dam sexy, he felt himself loosing control.
The fire in their bodies, burned more violently then the pain they both felt underneath.
As they were wrapped in each other skin touching skin, they didn’t stop until they were drained, even though they both knew exactly how it would all end.
They took a dive with out hesitation for the desire they both had, giving themselves no limitations.
It happened so beautifully and so unexpectedly, keeping them both hungry with no desire to see the end of it.
They both saw the damage through the exhilarating of the fall, but on that night they both knew it was worth it and they would have taken the jump a thousand more times for it all.
Because it was a night of passion, a night of lust,
something so beautifully unexpected that they both had wanted for such a long time.

-Kbeautifulmind

Pain…

It’s Friday night and well most of my friend’s are in some kind of relationship, so if they are with their significant others I pretty much have nothing to do… lol.

There for I’m sitting on my little red couch, watching “The Fault in our Stars” knowing I’m going to cry but eeeehhh what the hell right?

image

As I sit here and watch this movie with that sappy feeling in my body because of such cute romance between these two young kids who through cancer have learned to live and enjoy every minute of life even if they are not always happy or even if it is not always easy.
I began to think about the first time I fell in love, and the second time I fell in love and all the beautiful moments and promises made and I can’t help but smile at the memories.

I think about love and I can’t help but wonder…

“If love works the way they say it does and we all get a soul mate and our other half’s are out there somewhere, then it actually must be worth it in the end, right?”

What exactly?

Well the pain, if pain is meant to be felt then it has to be worth something right?
Pain, according to the dictionary…
pain
pān/Submit
noun
1.
physical suffering or discomfort caused by illness or injury.
“she’s in great pain”
synonyms: suffering, agony, torture, torment, discomfort More
ache, aching, soreness, throb, throbbing, sting, stinging, twinge, shooting pain, stab, pang, cramps;
discomfort, irritation, tenderness
mental suffering or distress.
“the pain of loss”
synonyms: sorrow, grief, heartache, heartbreak, sadness, unhappiness, distress, desolation, misery, wretchedness, despair; More
informal
an annoying or tedious person or thing.
noun: pain in the neck; plural noun: pains in the neck
“she’s a pain”
2.
careful effort; great care or trouble.
“she took pains to see that everyone ate well”
synonyms: care, effort, bother, trouble
“he took great pains to hide his feelings”
verb
verb: pain; 3rd person present: pains; past tense: pained; past participle: pained; gerund or present participle: paining
1.
cause mental or physical pain to.
“it pains me to say this”
synonyms: hurt, cause pain, be painful, be sore, be tender, ache, throb, sting, twinge, cause discomfort; More

So that is pain, it’s something that just hurts weather it’s physical, emotional, or just plain makes no sense and you don’t know where it’s coming from it’s just something that hurts but we all have to try and learn to live with it.

So let me ask you again…
If pain is meant to be felt with the chance that something beautiful will come out of it in the end or at the chance you took to experience something beautiful that brought you pain later then it just HAS to be worth it, right?

Well of course it is…
I say it is!

I mean I’m just a twenty-four year old gal who sits at home on her red couch on a Friday night watching sappy movies that she knows are going to make her cry a waterfall…

But I am also a gal that has been through alot and as a personal victim of a cancer scare myself and someone who lived a hard childhood with bull shit after bull shit and then lost her Best Friend to Cancer it’s self…

I say the pain is totally worth it!
I say that who cares if your heart gets broken again and again and again, and yes death might take some people before you and make you experience the worst pain of them all, and yes other life situations might even add more to the pain but it’s totally worth it.

It’s worth the memories, it’s worth the laughs, it’s worth the meaningful hugs, the long lasting kisses, it’s worth the moments that feel like the whole world has stopped in that moment of happiness, its worth the beautiful pictures we take of all these moments and it’s definitely worth that moment when love takes over your body and soul and gives you those butterflies that make the pain of life go away, even if it’s not forever.

Pain is meant to be felt, and you sadly don’t get to choose if you get hurt in this world but in the end it’s truly worth it.
It’s painful but worthy because it was the end of something that was once so beautiful and meaningful to YOU.

Okay?
-Kbeautifulmind

Grudge

It had been a couple of years since he last saw her.
He remembers being mad at her, because she broke him, she gave up on them after she had promised she never would.
Some how that smile still made him nervous.
It had been a couple of years since she last saw him.
She remembers he was angry, how could he say such mean things to someone he claimed to love so much?
She knows she was wrong, she freaked out and gave up, but she couldn’t take it back because he was moved on.
Yet he looked so beautiful, and she knew she’d always miss him.

Years later there they were…

It was like the world stopped in it’s tracks and no one else existed…
There he was and there she was only the window of the car, a grudge he still held, the pain that still stung in her heart and the street in between them.

But some how it was a beautiful encounter, because it showed in their faces, their eyes, and both of their expressions that after all these years something was still felt.

-kbeautifulmind