Month: December 2015

2015

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Two Thousand-Fifteen is coming to an end, and as most of us agree things could have been better. We always sit there at the end of the year and say “New Year please be good to me, please be better.” However, did you take the time to reflect? Did you accomplish your goals and resolutions? And if not, why? And how are you going to make sure that doesn’t happen again?
We must remember that nothing can ever be perfect and we must appreciate what we did get out of the previous year, before we start asking for more or “better.”

I can honestly say 2015 was as amazing and as intense as the year could have been.

So many things have changed: My perspectives, my goals, my dreams, my desires, my relationships, my mentality, my feelings, and the people in my life.

I started the year with certain goals, dreams, and perspectives and some have changed as some continue to stay the same. Many were accomplished and/or are close to being accomplished as we enter the new year. I finally began new projects I had been wanting to for so long and I can not wait till I am done and see the final results.

My desires have definitely grown as I’ve found personal growth within my self. I am a lot more satasfied and confident with my body and soul.

I learned that days will be rough but, I must finish everyday and be done with it, and when that doesn’t work… a good laugh or long sleep can cure anything.

My relationships haven’t changed too much. I started the year with certain important people by my side and all of them are still here. I made some new friends, some which didn’t stick it through but others who I can tell are here to stay. I continued to be humble and grateful for all the love and support I receive, and I’ve learned to not take those that have been good to me for granted because I know how lucky I am to have them in my life.

I didn’t find strong love that happened to change my romantic relationship status. (Still single and mingling, lol maybe not the mingling part) However, I did meet people that helped me see that even at 25 you can still feel butter flies and pure happiness. I learned that nothing is forever or will workout the way you hoped but, enjoying the moment is just as fun and pleasurable and memories will always live on. I learned that everyone has a purpose as they entered your life, and if they aren’t here to stay is because one of you had to learn something from the other one.

Most importantly, I learned to fully heal from the scars that had been caused by the past and I’m learning to know exactly what I want and will not accept. I met people that made the cells in my body jump with excitement by just a simple touch, and I have decided I never want to settle for any other feeling than that one. I learned that feelings aren’t reciprocal and thats okay, for the worth you saw in someone, someone else will see in you someday.

I’ve made my peace with everything and everyone, and I found closure myself and within myself which was the most important successful achievements of them all.

I’m not angry at the end of this year, nor do I have any resentments; I’m simply grateful for everything and everyone that have helped me learn and grow so much.

Over the last year, I have finally learned how to become the higher version of myself. I realized that happiness and comfort is something internal and eternal forces should not be depended on for my comfort or  happiness.

Over the last year, I finally understood.

-Kbeautifulmind

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My Tradition

When I was ten years old my mother and I started a personal new years eve tradition.

I got the idea from a show, I had seen some episode where a lady wrote a letter to her future self every year on her birthday.

I figured it be something we can do together, so my mom and I chose New Years Eve.

Along with the red underwear, and the money under the shoe; My mom and I added a third tradition to our list.

We began by reading our letter we wrote the last New Year’s Eve a couple days before.

We gave each other a couple of days to reflect, then on New Year’s Eve we wrote a new one Titling it “Open in (enter new year here)”

I knew where my mom kept hers last year so I had to open both hers and mines right before 2015 rang in.

My mom like always was such a positive soul, as she hoped that the new year didn’t bring her death.

Unfortunately, it did not workout that way. God needed another angel and her work here on earth was done.

I read both of our letters and continued my tradition on my own.

A couple of days ago I read my letter where I held my New Year resolutions, words of advise, and a couple of “To-do’s” and “Not to-do’s.”

One of my favorites were:

“Let other’s speak”

I tend to get excited when I am having a interesting conversation and I cut people off (not on purpose though.)

“Be careful who you trust”

I tend to have the issue of trusting just anyone and can sometimes put myself in danger do to this but, that has definitely changed.

“Don’t give up on love, continue to believe in it but don’t be an idiot either.”

That last one was funny!

I tend to have such a naive heart at times. I always want to see the good in everyone.

Anyway, I found to discover that I achieved almost all of my New Year resolutions, I followed most of my words of advise and for the most part most of my to-do’s and not to-do’s. But, most importantly I lived this year. I discovered myself, I enjoyed the moments, and I learned to accept and let go when I had no control over the situation.

I’m really excited to see how much I have accomplished and will be accomplishing in 2016.

My blog has also succeeded tremendously and I’d like to thank all my readers and supporters for that!

Thank you all!

-Kbeautifulmind

December hasn’t changed…

December hasn’t changed, it all still looks the same.
They still light the trees, and there is Christmas music everywhere.
There’s red, white, and green shining in every corner, and the people still look “crazier than ever.”
But, I wish you were here…
And I wonder what Christmas in heaven is like?
Here on earth it feels like everything good is missing since you left.
It all looks the same, nothing has changed but, there’s an emptiness.
The spirit is there, it just doesn’t feel as strong and my joy varies depending on the day.
They still make midnight mass as beautiful as ever, and the choir sounds magnificent just as you’d remember.
But, I wish you were here…
And I wonder what Christmas in heaven is like?
I hope you’re singing in the angel’s choir, and enjoying the presence of our dear lord saviors child.
I’ll bet you’re enjoying Christmas carols with your friends and father.
and I’m sure you decorated a fabulous tree, and made a pretty mean feast.
December hasn’t changed, it all still looks the same.
But, I wish you were here…
And I wonder what Christmas in heaven is like?
-Kbeautifulmind

This Holiday Season…

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This Holiday season, we must remember to be gratful for all of our blessings.
Don’t let the gifts and material goods allow you to forget the original meaning of Christmas.
Remember to thank the man upstairs for all you have been privileged with.
Tis the season to remember that we can’t always have what we want, we can’t always have what we wish for but, we can be content with what we have.
-Kbeautifulmind

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(My mom’s last Christmas 2013)

Death is such a difficult thing to deal with in this life.
It’s not the ones who go that need prayer, it’s the ones who stay.
There is nothing worse than having so many good memories with someone and realizing you won’t be able to make anymore together.
No matter how much time passes, you miss them even more.
They say time heals all and it does heal most temporary pains but, death just isn’t one of them.
Even in many years from now when it will be the 10th Christmas without her instead of the 2nd…
Even after multiple holidays, birthdays, special occasions, and many single moments of excitement…
No matter how much time passes,
it will always feel like the bandaid covering the wound was ripped right off making you bleed again.
I guess you never actually stop grieving, you just learn to accept and deal with it.
-Kbeautifulmind

Some women are like the moon

Their beauty glows whether they walk hand in hand with someone, or alone.
They have learned to love themselves, and have managed to stay humble, paying no attention to those that envy them.
Their good and heart warming, and have a way of bringing the world peace and comfort.
They are fascinating and admirable.
They don’t often tell you what they are capable of, but you just see it in how they carry them selves.
Their strength, independency, and positive vibes inspire others…
without realization.
They constantly maintain a smile on their face, no matter how big the storm gets.
Their laugh brings up the mood of those around them.
These women at times go unnoticed yet, that never seems to be an issue for them.
Because, some women are like the moon…
The moon doesn’t behave like it is above anyone, it just quietly shines.

-Kbeautifulmind

Man. Crush. Monday

Man. Crush. Monday

This one’s for the men who still believe in chivalry.
The one’s opening doors, giving forehead kisses, dedicating songs, committing and appreciating one woman instead of trying to juggle 3 or 5 at a time.
This one’s for the men who make the effort, who go out their way to spend time with a woman,who rather call or face time instead of just text with… “WYD.”
The one’s who cherish the women in their lives and respect them like they would respect their own mother or sisters.
This one’s for the men that are honest and faithful, instead of acting like children and playing stupid games.
The one’s who rather see a woman strong and smiling, instead of weak and in tears.
This one’s for REAL men who have never abused (verbally or physically) a woman, raped, belittled, or hurt her emotionally just because it’s what they needed to do to feel powerful.
The one’s who realize when they have made the mistake to hurt a woman, and have faced the situation instead of hiding like a coward.
This one’s for the men who remember how their mother raised them, and won’t let today’s society turn them into heartless ignorant idiots.
The one’s who are smart, ambitious, driven, and dreamers, because their is nothing sexier than a man who desires to always keep learning and growing.
This one’s for the real ones.
The real men of today’s world that are over shadowed by the “player, anti commitment, insta – famous, only date girls with big butt and waist trained bodies, fuck boys.”
This one’s for the good men, the few left that should be so proud that they haven’t fallen under the claws of today’s society and it’s ways of trying to belittle women.
The one’s who admire their woman by their side, and don’t push them to the back because they feel threatened.
This one is for you guys.
We appreciate you.
-Kbeautifulmind

This time next year.

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“God is within her, she will not f a l l.”

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Last night I had a selfie session.
As I thought about how screwed up my life was this time last year…
I smiled, because I am so proud of myself and how much I have over came as a person.
How much I have grown, and how positive I kept my mind and spirit.
Then I thought about how much I still need to over come…
Something in my gut just tells me that all the worries I hold in my heart now, won’t be anything by this time next year.
Stay positive people!
Kbeautifulmind

Stop aging, and start growing.

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Ever wonder why some people are less mature than other people of the same age?
Now, there is nothing wrong with a woman/man that can be a kid at heart at the right time.

I personally will forever enjoy sitting on a swing at the park, or filling up some water balloons in the summer and having an epic water balloon fight.

Anyway, I’m talking about those people that even though they have aged by the years, they continue to react with ignorance to different life situations.
I mean, I’ll admit I am guilty of stooping down to the level of some of these people sometimes…
(I’m sure we all do it)

However, in my defense I usually don’t start anything.
For the most part, I try my very best to stir away from immature people.

Anyway…

I’m
talking about those who have aged but, still have not grown to take responsibility for their own actions or mistakes.

I don’t know about you guys, but every time I encounter people like this I ask myself… “Why?”

I learned the other day, that these people may have a birthday every year but some of them do not necessarily allow them selves to grow from the year they got to live.
They don’t allow themselves to learn from their mistakes, nor to take the life lessons they have received and grow from them.
Instead, some of these people continue to allow themselves to play victims, to act like it’s everyone else’s fault why things happen to them, and to make themselves believe that if they ignore the issues they have encountered or the issues they have with themselves… it will all just “poof” and dissappear.

If you are one of these people, sorry pal, it doesn’t work that way!

Not only do they do this but some of them also allow their experiences to become so profound and they still won’t address them.
Instead they store them in and lock them up.
Only later realizing how much this way of living has hurt them and stopped them from growing as a person.

So I say…
“Stop aging, and start growing!”

As you evolve over the years as a person, you must confront your issues with personal growth. If not, you are aging but you are not growing. This is the only way to actually be able to live and have the opportunity to really look back and say…

“Wow, look at how far I’ve came, look at how much I’ve changed, look at how much I’ve GROWN.”

My mom always said…
“If one person says it, they are just being nasty. But if multiple people say it, over, and over, even the ones you know truly love you… then you might have some self observing to do.”

So with that said, pay close attention to yourself and who you reflect as a person. 
Don’t go changing yourself just because one person told you there is something wrong.
Take in the criticism and see what it means, if changing would better you as a person, and if it’s coming from a person that matters and who’s intentions are good.
It’s learning to see yourself through the eyes of others who matter, to better understand yourself and truly grow.

-Kbeautifulmind

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The thing with life, is that you can’t always control what it throws at you.
Sometimes you just have to accept it, face it, try to find the solution, and deal with it.

“The key to survival is building a rich life.” -Kbeautifulmind

Now, I don’t mean becoming financially rich. Even though having good finacial stability can help with the finacial issues…
However, having all the money in the world doesn’t necessarily mean you live a “rich” life.

What I mean by this is being a “rich” human being.

Being a person who grabs the ugly life throws at them, and still finds beauty.

Being a person who is not dependent on others to make their day, or holds them responsible for their view on life.

Being a person that may feel down at times (because lets face it, it’s human nature) but, can get right back up and fight on.

Life is a struggle, but if you are “rich” you have found the key and comfort to survive in this world.

If you don’t love yourself, believe in yourself, and most of all trust yourself in the environment you live in…

then almost anything you have to face will bring you down to the point of self destruction.

So remember…

“The key to survival is building a rich life.”

To be internally happy and feel rich with just who you are and what you have to offer.

If you live a rich life…

No violance,

No abuse,

No hate,

No envy,

No betrayal,

No pain,

No hurt,

No disease,

No problem,

and No obstacle,

could allow you to become dysfunctional.

Why?

Because you are rich.

You will always feel these negative effects and you will always be afraid but, you will not be destroyed by any of them.

-Kbeautifulmind