Month: November 2015

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When you lose someone close to you, your perspective of life in it’s self changes immediately.
It’s like you been viewing and living life through a pair of dirty glasses.
I’m truly gifted to have been raised by such a wonderful woman and true warrior.
She taught me to be appreciative of all I’ve had, have, or will ever have.
Our struggles we lived only made me even more gratful.
Through her I learned to never be nasty to those that truly love me and have my back, and to be respectful to those that are ugly (on the inside).
I learned to be humble, even when life was in our favor because tomorrow we could be right back to where we were.
She taught me that when you help others you do it with heart, even if you may never get the same help from them in return.
She taught me that betrayal isn’t worth the revenge and I must leave it in the hands of god and karma.
She taught me that with faith, this ugly world doesn’t seem so bad.
She taught me that there is always so much to be thankful for…
From just the fact that you woke up again another day, to the little or a lot that you been blessed with.
No one can ever live through all of these teaching, I’m sure didn’t always either.
Yet she seem to practice it very well, and watching her be such a wonderful person was the best inspiration I could have had growing up.
Before my momma passed away, I was already raised to be good, and do good.
However now that she’s gone, not only am I thankful for everything I have and everyone I have in my life…
But I no longer take anything for granted.
I make sure to always try my best to go to bed at night happy and gratful, even when times seem super rough.
It takes real work and strength not to forget the great features in life even on the bad days.
Yet, we still must try to acknowledge the little we have and appreciate it for the time we have it.
Because tomorrow nothing, not your life, the life of those you love, or anything you have is promised to be there.
I would have done anything for a nice hug and kiss from my best friend today.
Yet, a year and a half ago god had decided he needed a new angel.
I’m truly so gratful for all of my family and friends; as well as all my blessings from work, school, life etc.
Happy Thanksgiving!
-Kbeautifulmind

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You must live in the moment, in order to understand your destination.
-Kbeautifulmind

Personal note:
Sometimes we forget that tomorrow isn’t promised.
We are so desperate to know…
“What next?”
From our love lives, people affairs, careers, living situations etc.
We are always planning ahead, and even thought planning is good to an extend.
We must not allow it to cloud the fact that this very moment, the “right now” might be all we have.

…and it’s just not fair.

I still miss you, and it’s not fair.
I have men asking me out, blowing up my phone, dms, even trying to make me fall…
yet your face always comes to mind.
I’ve loved people more then I’ve even liked you, yet I don’t miss them.
Before you, I had lost hope.
I had shut down.
I was in the dark.
You had turned on the light for me.
You made me feel like I was hole again.
With you…
I felt alive.
I felt free.
I felt worthy.
I felt comfortable to be me.
I felt like you understood me.
I still miss you, and it’s just not fair.
-Kbeautifulmind

Sorry was not enough

I heard once that getting the truth is the only way to feel relieved.

I use to believe that because I was able to discover the truth and confront you about it, I had won.

I tried to always convince myself that your “sorry’s” actually meant something.

I believed that if I heard it come out of your mouth, if you begged me to stay, if you cried, I had won.

Even after you broke my heart, I thought that all I needed was an apology to move on and forget the pain.

I didn’t realize that I needed to accept who you were to truly move on.

I didn’t realize that by accepting those weak apologizes, I was only encouraging your bad behavior.

I didn’t realize that I was only making excuses for you, because I was afraid to be alone.

I didn’t realize that I needed to love myself again and see my worth to truly move on.

Until I actually did it.

So listen when I tell you…

Sorry is not enough…

Sorry couldn’t change the fact that my eyes had seen the pictures, the text messages, and the betrayal.

The damage was done, and things were never going to change no matter how good I was to you.

Being the perfect girlfriend never stopped you.

Being your best friend never stopped you.

Encouraging you never stopped you.

Listening to you never stopped you.

Believing in you never stopped you.

Making you laugh never stopped you.

Loving you right and being “The best you’ve ever had,” never stopped you.

Therefor,

forgiving you every time…

accepting your apologies every time…

accepting the flowers and the gifts…

sweeping it under the rug and putting on a smile…

was never going to stop you.

I know now how foolish I was for competing with them, yet my fractured heart always cried with hope that this time you’d prove me wrong.

I forgive you.

I’m finally letting you go.

I’m finally letting you rest in peace.

Just do me favor…

that gal, the one that made it worth walking away from the one who fought so much to keep you…

treat her better.

-Kbeautifulmind

Everything stops when I’m with him.

We can be surrounded by a crowed, standing in the middle of all the commotion.
The ladies can have their eyes on him, the men may have their eyes on me…

yet, we can’t take our eyes off each other.

Our eyes connect, and our souls recognize each other.

Everything stops when we are together, because together is what feels right.

-Kbeautifulmind

Cleaning up

I was cleaning up my phone yesterday…

I am running out of memory and I needed to clean out my back up files…

I came across our pictures.

All the good times, the laughs, the talks…

right there in one file.

I wasn’t sure of what to do next, I wanted to delete them but, then I didn’t.

I smiled when I saw them but, then I frowned.

I can’t seem to understand what happened?

I was so sure of our bond, and your purpose in my life.

I thought we’d be at least friends, always.

I was cleaning up my phone yesterday…

I came across our pictures, realizing they are now just memories…

only to find myself missing you again.

-Kbeautifulmind

Life can be a bit stressful at times.

Situations can make you hopeless and at times make you want to just give up!

I got two word of advise for you…

“Be Joyful”

Life is a difficult journey but, besides that it is a beautiful journey and no matter what you are going through…

you are going to be okay.

As long as you are joyful…

hopeful…

you are going to be okay.

-Kbeautfulmind