“I think the hardest part of losing someone isn’t trying to say goodbye, it’s learning how to live without them that’s so unfavorable.” -Kbeautifulmind
I knew I was going to have to say goodbye to my best friend from the moment they told us the cancer was terminal and every moment after that as we fought to pro long her life.
Every doctors appointment, every ER visit, every chemo therapy, radiation therapy, and every sleepless night. I knew it. She tried to prepare me, she really did.
For the most part I would always cry, but I was calm because she taught me to accept it through her peaceful and graceful way of facing it.
She was one hell of a warrior! People think or say I’m strong, pphheewww they have no idea what strength is. She was like unstoppable!
When the night of the 22nd hit, my life felt like it was crumbling at my feet and unfortunately those feelings comes back every once in a while and at random times. At night, in the car, at work, while cooking, in the shower, just at random. It’s painful every time, and at times even a bit frustrating.
Any memory done with out her reminds me that she should be here and all the ones remembered with her break my heart that those were it.
It’s like someone ripping off the bandaid again and reminding you that the wound is still there. I miss her like freaken crazy, and I told her it wouldn’t be easy…
“No matter how much you prepare me, the day you go it won’t be easy. When will I see you again? Talk to you? Hug you? When mom!?”
And she said to me calm with grace in her voice; “Until we meet again…. That’s when.” 🐘💕
So until then, I live.
I live for her.
At times in tears, fear, and plenty of stress. However, I live in strength, grace, and as resilient as possible just like she raised me.
Until the day comes, that we finally meet again.