Exactly a year ago this picture was taken.
To think I was tired.
Tired of sleeping in cold hospital chairs.
Tired of sleeping with fear as I constantly woke up to look next to me in bed and make sure you were still breathing.
Tired of watching you moan with pain and sob with fear.
Tired of watching the woman I’ve always seen struggle for her kids, now struggle as she fought for her life.
Tired of seeing the strongest woman I ever knew get deteriorated by and ugly disease that made her weak.
Tired, I was tired of watching you slowly wash away in front of me, knowing there was nothing I could do.
I was tired, but as hard as time was then, I’d go back in the blink of an eye.
Because even though It has gotten easier….
Today Im tired, tired of missing you and waking up to a stoned box that is very beautiful but can’t hug back.
Tired of waking up to silence because it doesn’t tell me “Buenos dias huevona”
Tired of crying to it knowing it can’t talk back when I need you.
Today marks 10 months since you been gone and I know its selfish and you are in a better place but Im tired of missing you and I wish you were here, even if we were still fighting this battle.
I hope the angels know what they have momma, because I really miss you.