Closing down the love factory…

I have a couple close friends I talk to on a daily basis.

I am a horrible at texting at times and I almost never answer my phone, but they manage to work with me and I work with them.

We all put in a lot of effort to keep in touch throughout the days even if we don’t see each other constantly.

No one plays victim, or whines about how I or THEY are “horrible” friends.

Why? well because we are grown and mature enough to know that it’s all a part of being an adult.

Anyway… we will save that topic for another blog.


My point was…

I have one girlfriend that in a sense loves like I do…


She like I… is a poet, an artist, and the a big hopeless romantic.

So guess what our main topics usually consists of?




One of our most frustrating struggles is that we care too much.

We are woman who will fight and do whatever it takes to make things right.

We over love at times and we over push to make things right.

We visit the past all the time, and we try to find the closure we “feel” we need.

Yes I said feel, and I say this because we both know very well that not every situation needs closure or a happy ending…


our big hearts, our personas, or our souls just don’t allow us to live by this motto.

Instead we wait for the apology we might never get, we want to stay friends with people we dated, and we think everyone is some how meant to stay in our lives.

I know, we are a bit crazy.


we just love too hard?

Not sure.

I think we just see the good in the ugly.

Anyway, we aren’t like stokers or anything… so don’t freak out ha ha.

So in the middle of our conversation the other day…

I was explaining to her how I do not understand how people can become involved with you, come into your life or path, and just hurt you?
Just cut you off and leave you there like some slap of ribs on the floor for the dogs to eat, without some kind of peace treaty or closure?

I guess I just don’t have it in me to hurt people in such selfish way.

I mean, I know I’ve broken hearts and I’ve had my share of rejecting…

but, usually I make sure that it’s understood and it’s ended peacefully.

I guess that’s the part of me that expects every situation to end in a happy ending.

If it was up to me, every single person I’ve ever dated (except for like two of them) would still be my friend.

Those that have hurt me would have apologized and we’d leave things in a peaceful treaty.

We’d pass by each other on the streets and say hello, or maybe even grab coffee and catch up once in a while…

Those that have said “I want to stay friends” would mean it and actually check up on me once in a while and see how I am doing…

But, realistically that is impossible.


probably not healthy ha ha.

So in the conversation I made a joke but, serious statement where I told her; “I am closing down the love factory, for a bit.”

She laughed and said; “Me too! Before I become one of those bitter chicks.”

I laughed and said; “Yeah, we don’t want to become that…”

However, that is definitely not my reason why.

I have made this decision for a couple good reasons and have decided to make it a firm promise.

Now, If the “one” were to come knocking on my door, I wouldn’t be like “LEAVE.” Ha.

I just feel like my desire for having “someone” is no longer as big as my desire for happiness.

I actually enjoy being alone.

I have always enjoyed it.

I love to shop alone, I don’t mind enjoying a meal for one, and I’ll even go to a movie alone without a care in the world.

However, sometimes it’s nice to have someone to talk to, to share with, to face time, and to adventure with.

So I am not “shutting out” on love and the hope to find someone to team up with in this cruel world.

But, I am directing my focus on other things for the mean time.

I’d like to put all my time and heart into my career.

I love the field I am studying, and I am eager to start practicing it as soon as possible.

I want to travel, take on new hobbies, and rekindle the old ones I have lost touch with.

I want to be joyful, I want to be happy and truly satisfied with myself.

I will say, getting your heart-broken makes you a bit disappointed and hopeless…

But, it also teaches you a lot and I have built so much self-love, peace, and strength that my only desire is to continue to grow and build that even stronger.

I want to be so good with just me, that I never forget my worth and how valuable I am.

This is important, for the reason that the person I settle down with someday has to be at my same level.

I refuse to settle.

I want to build a strong empire someday, a team so strong that it can conquer anything life throws at us.

For that goal, I know I must first be good with myself.

So good that I know and any one that I come across will know…

that I will not settle for anything less.

I refuse to mess this vision up, or cloud it with anyone one that I KNOW just doesn’t fit the standard.

As our generation would say “No more fuck boys”

But in my words…

No more games, or unsure feelings.

What I will accept right now is friendships, true genuine friendships…

If with time something builds from one of them or someone comes along worthy of my commitment then, I will be so good with myself that I will be capable of loving them like they deserve.

Looking forward to the re-opening of the love factory,


I won’t…

I won’t beg someone to love me.

If it’s one thing I have always known, there is no use in hopeless pleas.

Not everyone you fall in love with will be yours to keep.

You see the thing about love is that it’s not technically reciprocal, because falling in love is actually a one way street.

You fall in love because YOU love how that person is, yet they might not find you as intriguing as you found them to be.

There is no need in asking someone to stay, for if they saw your worth and value they would never try and walk away.

I want to be loved unconditionally by someone who likes me for me, I do not wish to fight so hard just to make them see me for me.

I do not have time to prove to someone I am what they need, for only they know what it is they want and require, plus you can’t just magically light the fire…

The fire will come from within, it will always be lit; even if it doesn’t last it is something that can’t just go out in minutes.

Therefor I won’t beg for someone to love me, there is no use in hopeless pleas.

For love isn’t something you can just give, it’s something that is felt and builds up with time, something that you feel when you give someone a chance to see them for what they can be.


Repeat after me:


Sometimes in today’s society women can have a really hard time fitting in. We get shit everywhere we go; at school, work, from men, our partners, our friend’s and even OUR SELVES.

So today I honor all the feminist women out there with a voice and self respect that value themselves and represent themselves as classy ladies.
Keep doing what you’re doing, you have no idea how many women struggle with this confidence and are inspired by YOU.

For the women struggling this confidence this one is for you…

Repeat after me:
“I am beautiful and I am worthy.
I don’t need anyone to say it to believe it and I won’t let the negativity of other’s defeat me. I don’t need to degrade myself to fit in because I am valuable just how I am and no one or anything can change my confidence. I am perfect just the way I am because I am a woman.”

Your beauty should make you stand up tall, not lie down on your back.


Your a woman with integrity, shining oh so heavenly. Do not forget your worth, remember you can put your own price to it. Quit giving up the cookie to anyone who wants it; if you want to share it, make them work hard to get it. Don’t let their eyes wonder on your physic, make them focus on what’s underneath. Show them who you really are, f**k them with your brain, let them lust for your intelligence. Don’t put him on a high horse, that can back fire making him think he can ride around and see what else is out there. Please don’t stroke his ego, stand your ground, show him he’s the one who needs you. He just might get frustrated and refer to you as greedy, show him it’s okay to be a little selfish and if he really wants it, he’ll know that you’re worthy. For a woman with some class should never give in to temptation until she knows her man will always be respectful.  Rememeber you are beautiful, your flaws are what make you flawless. Don’t give into the media, recollect that “ass shots” only get you attention from a dog; someone that will salavate all over you and treat you like a rag doll.
Stop letting today’s society blind you from what’s important, making you miscalculation the true value of your beauty. Your beauty should make you stand up tall, not lie down on your back destroying your merit and preventing you from being a woman with some class.


To all my beautiful ladies;