Tag: inspiration

My concept behind the value of relationships

When I was younger, I did not believe in 2nd chances.
The minute you crossed me or disrespected me…

1. I’d cut you off
2. You became the enemy
3. If you really pissed me off, I was probably trying to kick your ass. (I was crazy and lacked of maturity)

So many around me didn’t understand my concept, I even had someone once make fun and call me a “homie hopper.”

Then with time my concept changed a bit, if you are farely NEW in getting to know me I use the 3 strike rule…

Its simple…
3 strikes you’re out!

If you’re pass the 3 year mark, you don’t get 3 strikes, you go back to the first method ☝ (Don’t worry, I retired from fighting, I now have karma handle my light weight.)

Anyway till this day my concept doesnt make sense to a lot of people, I had a friend tonight ask me…

“Why? Why do you go about relationships this way?”
And well this was my answer.

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If I let you into my life and allow you to know me, it’s a privilege.
God didn’t choose you for me, or else we’d share blood and I’d call you family.
Instead I call you friend or lover because God put you in my path, but I chose that you could stay.
Therefor I voluntarily decided to allow myself to trust you, open up to you, show you and share with you who I am, and let you in with out any boundaries.
I have let you see me naked(If you’re a lover emotionally and physically), inside and out.
If you’ve been around for years and our involvement has increased, so have my expectations and the value I give you.
If all of a sudden you decide to betray me, hurt me, cheat me, or lie to me.
Don’t expect forgiveness or for me to understand why you did it.
In my eyes and beliefs, there is no excuse and or reason good enough that you can give me that will make any sense.
Seeing that you know me so well by now and what I represent, yet you still didn’t care enough to consider my feelings, only shows me my worth and what I actually mean to you.

-Kbeautifulmind

-Kbeautifulmind

Everyday is a start…

Life is pretty hard to deal with sometimes.
No matter our age, gender, or class we all have our own personal struggles that affect us in a certain way.
Some of our struggles might seem ridiculous to others, but to us they can affect us so much that it makes it hard to live with them.

It’s easy to always assume that if we had what others have we wouldn’t be so “devastated” with our lives.
and…
That is false.
That’s what’s wrong with today’s generation.
We are so stuck on the idea of
being like…
having like….
because the people, media, and entire society are teaching us to be anything but ourselves. They have set these standards for us to act or want to be a certain way at such an early age that we grow up lost.
Lost and desperate in having what isn’t for us and being what just isn’t us.

However we can still put a stop to this, self love can be adopted by anyone.

Everyday is a start of something beautiful. It might not seem beautiful as our struggles or stressors haunt us on to the next day after sleeping through the night; but it truly is. It’s the start of something beautiful because it’s an opportunity for change. Change can be hard when we have the pressure of life and society pressing against us making us feel like we must stay stuck, but it’s up to us to believe we can break free.
If we motivate our selves and don’t wait for motivation or approval from others we accomplish to break free and discover ourselves and our abilities to be better, live happier and feel healthier.

Everyday is the start of something beautiful if we love ourselves.

Inspiring all of you to not look for the greener grass on the other side but to nourish and care for your grass to see how beautiful and green it already is.

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                  Break free, be YOU.

-Kbeautifulmind 

Living the dream.

I’ll crawl if I have to…

A couple of weeks ago I got in a small accident with some idiot and well long story short I currently don’t have a car.
I seriously wonder sometimes if I am going to die in some sort of car accident or car situation because I always have some sort of issue. Last year alone I had 5 flat tires; can you say, bad luck? -_-

Anyway so the point of sharing that is that since I don’t have a car I’m driving my mom’s car to work and school and what not. You don’t realize how much your car means to you till you don’t have it, sharing a car with my mom is a bit stressful.

Yesterday I went to work and my mom called me around 5 to see if I was going to make it to mass. I couldn’t make it do to work and I figured she wouldn’t go because she can’t really walk.

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I was wrong…

On my way home from work she called me to pick her and the boys up at church, I was so shocked wondering who had taken her or how they got there?

She took a taxi! Ha ha

I told her “Mom! A taxi? Why didn’t you just skip today, you can’t even walk!”

And she said to me…

“God doesn’t skip blessing me, or waking me up for another day, or making sure my kids and loved ones are safe… Therefor if I have to crawl to church one day out of the week for the rest of my life then I will!”

I was surprised by her answer and at the same time ashamed of myself for not thinking the same way.

It made me realize that like always she was right! God has been so good to us since she got diagnosed, and even when it seems like the road is ending he opens up another path for us.

Please take a minute to share my link:
http://www.gofundme.com/6ezk9c
As I try to raise money for my mom’s treatment!

Feeling alright!
Kbeautifulmind

Promise Yourself

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When you are feeling down, disappointed, and helpless make yourself a promise like I do, allow yourself reassurance and remind your self to have faith that all will fall back into place…
My promise to myself:

“Promise Yourself

To be so strong that nothing
can disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity
to every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel
that there is something in them
To look at the sunny side of everything
and make your optimism come true.

To think only the best, to work only for the best,
and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others
as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past
and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times
and give every living creature you meet a smile.

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself
that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear,
and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world,
not in loud words but great deeds.
To live in faith that the whole world is on your side
so long as you are true to the best that is in you.”-Unknown

Over the last 4 years I have had the most breakdowns and saddest moments but this poem right here is what keeps me motivated.

Inspired;
Kbeautifulmind

Hello everyone!

So I made my blog so that I could express my thoughts, however my bio also encourages any comments, concerns and questions from the public and tonight I am very happy because I finally received my first email/question!!! smile.

She says:

Kbeautifulmind,

Let me start off by saying that your blog is pretty interesting, I like your posts because you can tell you just write. You don’t try to word them “just right” what you write is truly just you, almost feels like I am having a conversation with you when I read them. I can also relate to them, they remind me of my life which is why I am writing to you to share with you my situation and see what you have to say about it? First off, Hi my name is April! I am a freshman in college and I grew up in a small town where I had a small group of friends and we were all very very very close! Unfortunately we all ended up in different schools and things are just not the same like when we were in high school. I know it has only been one semester but I feel as if I am loosing my friends, I try so hard to call and email and hang out when I can and they are just not putting in the same effort I am! They also have new friends now, I feel as if I am being replaced what should I do?

Hope you you can reply to this in a blog post, cannot wait to read,

April.

Hi April!

I’d like to thank you for the wonderful comment about my blog, I am glad to know someone is actually reading and well to reply to it I do JUST WRITE! Ha Ha I am actually a horrible speller and I can never seem to word things right but I sure can ramble on and on and on! smile.

Well here it goes this post is for you…

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“The past is called the past for a reason”

I’d like to start of by saying that no one should ever give up on anything or anyone in their lives if they feel its/they are worth fighting for, you would rather be saying “I gave it my all and it just didn’t turn out like I expected” than to be saying “I got scared and gave up and now I’m living with the regret”

So my first advise to April is to not give up on your friends tell them exactly how you feel about the situation and how things have turned out and let them know that you do not want to loose their friendship! Always remember communication is key no matter the type of relationship.

Now to better answer your question I’m going to relate to your situation…

I personally have always been a person of different emotions specially when it came to relationships with others.
I am the kind of person that if hurt or rejected I tend to run and let go of the situation instead of facing it and well If I were in your shoes like I have been before Id just feel neglected and run off loosing friendships and the bonds with people who I care about so much.

I think what makes me this way is because I tend to give my all into anything from day one and always build the perfect relationship with others even in just regular friendships. So when I get hurt and I feel betrayed or I begin to feel neglected than I tend to just shut down and I’m no longer who I use to be.

Like April I have had some very close friends some who I stopped talking to because they hurt me and others who I fell apart with, with out understanding why?

and the truth some I missed a lot! Those are the ones who I still tried to connect with. Over the years I tried so hard to communicate with them and hold on to the relationships to try and interact and keep things the same.

However with time I have accepted that “The past is called the past for a reason”. I have accepted that people grown and change and everyone moves on, and I have realized that that’s not such a bad thing. I have also accepted that I myself need to live in the present and look forward to the future. I mean why am I going to dwell on situations and moments I cannot change? There is no reason why I should be trying to re live moments in my life I have already experienced, go places where I have already been and not allowing my self to discover the wonderful new things that await for me.

So with this I leave you April and all other readers…

If there is someone in your life who you are reaching out to, weather it is a group of friends or anyone else and they just aren’t appreciating the attention you are giving them, do not be afraid to continue on with your life specially if you are in a new place like college. You can still discover what life has to offer and hold on to the memories and good times you shared with those people and if they truly care about you they will reach out eventually and make some effort of their own to be apart of your wonderful new life.

April! Don’t sweat it, allow yourself to make new friends of your own and if your friends truly appreciate the bond you guys have build through out the years they will eventually make some effort of their own. However do not forget to talk to them and tell them how you feel as a way of saying you at least “let them know”.

Thank you so much for reading,

Kbeautifulmind

Back to that same old place

Hello everyone;

I’m honestly not sure if I have any regular readers but If I do I’d like to thank you all for reading.

and If I have regular readers than you all know it has been a while since I have written, the truth I have been very busy with school and work and well just plain old life. As a matter of fact I should be doing homework right now but I really felt like writing,smile.

“If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.” – Marilyn Monroe

There is something I have been thinking about for these past days…

I have heard before that we are all destined to live our lives a certain way. I never been a believer of that…

I have always believed that you make your own destiny and what happens to you only happened to you as a result of a decision you made to get there.

I mean could it really be possible that we were born into this world to live a certain way and no matter what we do to try and change it, it will just fall right back into that “same old place”?

I can honestly say that I still do not believe that’s possible…

However sometimes life seems to feel this way…

I like all of us have some regrets in life as well as mistakes I know I have made but for the most part I have learned and asked for forgiveness and if not forgiven I forgave myself and tried to move forward. I also know that some of the worst things that have happened to me with time have to be my karma for any pain I have caused others and myself.

Could it be possible that it is all karma?

I mean there is nothing super awesome about me that makes me better than anyone else but I do know that even after all my flaws and personal issues I make a pretty cool human being and some people would be lucky to have me in their lives.

I still cannot help but feel like no matter how much I try to run away, ignore, or leave the presence of people who are negative, I keep coming back to that same old place. So of course that brings me back to myself and wondering if I’m that bad of a person to deserve such people by my side or if these are the kind of people I attract.

Than I think of my location and my future looks more blurry than it ever has it seems like every day I wake its just a repeat of yesterday and will only repeat its self again tomorrow…

Just back to that same old place…

I ALWAYS say I need to leave this town and eventually I will, I just need the courage to just pack my bags and go and start it all over where no one knows my name.

So till than this place may be the same old place but its definitely not the same old day and I just need to stay positive.

Even though times get hard, and the people by my side arn’t the most appreciative of having me by their side I think that I need for things to happen the way they do, so that I could open my eyes and learn. Learn, grow, and change. Everyday I get the chance to wake I get a chance at another day to better myself, and become the person I was meant to be.

and with this I leave you…

If you are reading this and you don’t feel like your getting anywhere or people around you arnt really appreciating you weather it is your boss, husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, mother, father, sibling or even children do not feel like its your fault. Don’t let these hard times in your life make you feel like your not worth much or even like you deserve it just let it all be a reason to know that you will only continue to become a better YOU.

and that even if you are stuck in the same old place, times will get better and those who do not appreciate you might not be lucky enough to some day even know you.

Thank you for reading;

Kbeautifulmind

Road rage in your destiny

Today as I woke up at six thirty in the morning I began to think of what my day would be like…

I told my self “Today you BETTER be productive!”

My plan was…

I would go to work for my shift

go to school to buy a book I need for my class

come home open up my email and start reviewing the files for my research on “Road Rage” which by the way was not my interest AT ALL but I got stuck with it.

eight hours later after work…

I came straight home forgot to stop by the book store and with no interest in my research homework put it aside and took a little nap…

productive? I think not!

I woke up feeling very tired realizing I had not ate all day and I still had to work on my research.

“Ugh I’m so tired who in the world wants to do research on road rage right now? My hole life is a road rage… I’m the car and the traffic is… what is my traffic?”

The road rage to my destiny…

You know I use to have a very good life plan for myself I thought I had it all figured out from my carrier, to my future family, as well as how many kids and when and also where I would live and practice my profession; In my mind my destiny was set.

One day or at least as it seems my life made a U turn and along came the road rage, what seem like a plan was now the wrong way, or at least as it seemed, I was running low on gas to top it off there was so much bad traffic that I was so angry at everyone that got in my way.

I had to change a lot of things starting with ME…

Could it be true that we all have a destiny? and do we as individuals choose to follow it or is it just set up for us?

This is a question that haunts me every time I make a decision even if it is something as small as “When am I going to get started on this research project?”

The truth is I do not know what to believe sometimes, because just when things seem right they are all wrong and just when the road seems clear you look again and here comes the traffic…

all I know is that I no longer live to much by a plan or in a goal to please others before I am pleased myself, I no longer am going to blame my life on the traffic or allow for the bad driver in front of me to get the best of me..

I know in my mind my goals are clear and eventually I will get exactly to where I need to be, so whats the point of tail gating, honking or allowing the traffic and cars get to you?

There is no point to road rage in your destiny.

So if your reading this remember to go out today and be your best. Don’t try to be like others, just be you. Work on your gift and what you are good at. When you drive on the road of your creative zone then you will be more confident. When you are focused on your purpose you will be in your zone and you will see things like never before.

Time to get to researching;

Kbeautifulmind