I am forever grateful for the way you made me feel. 

My heart was broken and my hope was lost. 

You came into my life and healed the heart I felt would be broken forever. 

It’s a bit ironic to see that the one who healed you is the one who broke you again.

It hurts me to know that I wasn’t enough to keep you either… 

-Kbeautifulmind 

Today…

Today I realized that I am a “chance” taker.

I take chances.

Mostly emotionally, but I take chances.

I wear my heart on my sleeve and I try to always see the very best in every single person I come across.

I am not sure what it is but, I believe that everyone comes into our lives for a reason.

It might not always be a good reason, but in the end…

there is always a reason.

Putting myself out there works, for me.

I do not allow my pride to hold me back…

I feel, and I express it loudly with out a care in the world.

If you hurt me, you’ll know.
If you make me happy, you’ll know.

If I am angry, you’ll know.

and sadness,

oh sadness…

it’s probably one of my most painful faces I can show.

My tears are there, and the pain pokes out my clothes.

Not only can you see my emotions, but if you are close enough…

you can feel them.

But I can say it works for me, this is how I live.

I don’t pretend, I can’t.

I’m real, I’m raw, and sometimes it’s ugly

but everyone has an ugly.

I don’t wait, at least not anymore.

I use to wait, hide, shield…

My mom would tell me… “Smile, wipe those tears and smile. Do not let others see your weakness.”

Many times she’d say “Ay Kelsey, you are too sensitive.”

As I grew I learned how to compose my emotions (Don’t worry I don’t walk around in public crying or something like that…)

I do smile, but I allow myself to feel and express myself first.

I approach the situation how I feel is correct or will work for me.

Once I’ve done that; I can finally breathe, look forward, and move on.

Therefor…

I take chances, and I am finally accepting that.

I am okay with this.

I know that sometimes I WILL get exactly what I want from taking these chances…

but,

sometimes…

Sometimes, I will get hurt.

Sometimes the outcome just won’t be what I wanted.

Sometimes I won’t get what I was hoping for.

and sometimes, or many times…

I will be disappointed. 

I am okay with this.

Because I can at least live, knowing I took the chance that my heart told me to take.

Today I realized that I am a “chance” taker.

I take chances.

But, I actually live.

If I died tomorrow, I would go in peace knowing that I actually lived

How many people can actually say that?

Some people die a long time before their hearts stop beating, I refuse to be one of them.

-Kbeautifulmind

Women are not all the same, they come in different shapes and possess different minds. We have the women with self respect, high standards and who know their values. They accept nothing less than what they are worth. We also have the women who are lost and insecure, which leads them to take any title just for some attention.

-Kbeautifulmind

Something in side me….

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There is something in side of me that eats at me.
This something comes along at random times of the day; ruining my mood, making me loose focus and making me weaker everytime.
I can be happy and in a good mood, thinking positive, and then it shows up like a wild beast ready to destroy me.
It always starts off with my brain and it argues with me in side my head.
What did you do?
What are you doing?
What’s going on?
What’s coming next?
I quickly question it and ask “What are you talking about? Everything is great!”

But it shakes it’s head at me saying “You can fool everyone else but you can not full me”
After my mind it moves slowly and takes over my heart like a tumor swallowing it slowly, not wanting it to live.
It brings me to tears, and I feel my lungs drying up, Im loosing air…
“Could I die like this?”

It’s making me feel like I’m not enough, like the fault is all mine…

That’s when I begin to think that maybe I’m not so tough.

And then…

Something inside me wakes up, and it fights!

And I fight it and even though it takes a little piece of me every time it can’t seem to ever take me hole.

And I say to it…

“I will never let you take me out that way”

Kbeautifulmind.