Unstoppable

She took everything life threw at her with a smile.
Yes there was times she broke down, but she made sure to do it alone.
For she refused to give any one the power to see that even a strong woman like her felt like giving up at times.
She got close, but never gave up, because she was unstoppable.
-Kbeautifulmind

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Like a Butterfly

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You tuck me in, turn out the lights,
kept me safe and sound at night,
little girls depend on things like that.
You taught me how to dress myself, and almost always combed my hair, helped build my self-esteem and helped me build a heart that cares.
You had to deal with my funny moods, but calmed me down before I turned blue, reminding me that I would be alright.
You were always there when I looked back, the two of us made quite a team, never did I think we’d ever be separated quite so fast.
You had to do it all alone, a single mom who had to make a living and make a home.
It must have been as hard as it could be, but even through all the struggles and hard times, you kept a smile on your face not letting us see how much of you life would take.
And when I couldn’t sleep at night, scared things wouldn’t turn out right
you would hold my hand and simply tell me…
“Just like caterpillar in the trees, how you wonder who you’ll be, but with time you will see.
Don’t you worry, hold on tight.
I promise you there will come a time, where like a butterfly you will also spread your wings.”
-Kbeautifulmind

💜

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…and it was in that moment, as she sat underneath that beautiful tree that she felt true peace and  happiness in her heart. It was the breeze of the wind in her hair, and the the way the sun peeked through the beautiful flowers and touched her skin, that made her see that she will never be alone.
For her angel will always be there with her, right by her side.
-Kbeautifulmind

The death of a loved one

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The death of a loved on can be so hard to bare.
A pain so sharp, it’s one of the worst ever felt.
We know we are not all here forever, yet we don’t expect death to hit home what so ever.
Losing a parent feels like the end of this world.
Especially when you were gifted with only one instead of two.
Mothers are some of the most special gems in this world, for the love of a mother will always be true.
Mothers are faithful companions and lovers, even in the most difficult times on this earth.
Mothers make a dedication of love to their children, and they spend their whole lives providing us with that love and support.
A mother’s love is irreplaceable, which makes losing her to death incredibly painful.
As the children of an incredible woman, we will forever have an ache where we once felt warmth and protection.
Unfortunately there is no way we can bring her back, so we think of her in the day, talk to her at night, and cry for her during rough times.
We know she’s still here, and we know what she wants.
She hopes we find peace, happiness, and eternal love.
Therefor in her honor, we hide all our tears and put on a smile, because with in us a piece of her is still here.

Happy Mother’s day in Heaven Mommy♡

-Kbeautifulmind

I’m so proud of you

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And everytime life got hard…
She kept swimming for her, she kept pushing for her, she wouldn’t give up for her.
She wanted her to continue to look down from where she was and see that she wasn’t giving up, and she was getting it all done, even if at times it was super hard.
She wanted her to look down and say…

“I’m so proud of you.”👭💕

Kbeautifulmind🌻

I was her treasure

Growing up as the oldest of four, I always got the shit end of the stick.
If my mom was stressed I heard it first.
If something wasn’t done, it was my fault.
If things were not how they should be, she’d question me.
I watched my mom struggle her entire life and to me, she was my hero.
I admired her for going through so much and never giving up.
However I couldn’t help but wonder if maybe I was the cause for all of it.
Maybe had my father succeeded in drowning me at age five, had her life been so much easier?
As I got older it only got worse, if my sister acted up or my brother’s cried…
Some how I got yelled at.
I got told…
“I’m so tired of this, why don’t you guys listen. One of these days I’m going to be gone and you will all regret not appreciating me!!!”
I learned with time to just stay quite, I’d let her vent and just listened.
However, deep down inside I would hurt for her.
I would hurt because I knew life was hard for her and I could see how life would try to push her down and defeat her all the time, and there was nothing I could do to fix it.
I knew it wasn’t us, it was life that had just been so unfair to her.
Yet I wanted to yell back so many times saying,
“Can you shut the hell up!!! I do appreciate you, you have no idea how much! If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t want to be better then I am, and strive to have more then I’ve ever had.”
But I would just stay quite.
Sometimes we would fight over the stupidest things…
Money
School
Boys
Friend’s
Clothes
Seriously dumb, dumb, random stuff.
I’d come home and if she was stressed out she’d vent to me.
She’d yell, kick me out, told me when are you going to leave your too old to be living here with me.
To me then it sounded like blaming, and it cofused me because I couldn’t understand how it was my fault?
But later I saw they were cries of help, cries of help to me her oldest daughter and friend.
As I got older and after high school we learned to stress together, to vent but not attack each other, to scream, cry or sing if we wanted to let it out, but to not let it out on each other.
We learned to recognize the team we had always been.
However there was something I just couldn’t get her to do, and that was show emotion.
She rarely told me…
“I’m proud of you”
“You’re doing great”
“I love you”
Until she got diagnosed.
When she was diagnosed is when my mom learned how much I loved her and admired her.
My mom saw that I was never against her, but that I was with her.
She began to slowly apologize for being so hard on me, and for taking me for “granted.”
But what she didn’t know is how much more I appreciated her for all of it.
I wouldn’t be who I am today if she hadn’t pushed me to be strong.
Unfortunately I still felt disappointed in myself.
I had this plan my whole life and it wasn’t following through.
I hadn’t finish school yet, I didn’t have my career job yet, I wasn’t super wealthy, I couldn’t find the best doctors to treat her, I couldn’t grant her final wishes, I couldn’t take her to travel the world and see places she had always desired to see.
I felt as if God was taking her from me without letting me make her proud, without letting me repay her for all the hard times she lived just to raise me.
I felt like a failure.
I just needed her to see me graduate, to see me succeed, I NEEDED to make her proud.
Today my mom’s friend called me.
I had not spoken to him since my mom passed away, a year ago.
He wanted to see how I was doing and then told me…
“I have to tell you, your mom told me you were her treasure. That she admired you so much and was so proud of you and your kind heart. She told me, “Even when I yell at her, or take out my stress on her she doesn’t give up on me. I know she loves me and will stick through this right by my side.”

I began to cry, but tears of joy.
Tears of joy because I was grateful to know that even though we didn’t make it to Ireland or a tropical place, and I didn’t exactly get to “repay” her for all she had done for me…
She was proud of me.
She was truly proud of me.
And that let me know, I had succeeded as her daughter.

-Kbeautifulmind