Dear Brother…


Dear Brother,
I Hope someday you take everything we’ve taught you and that it helps you as you learn to make it on your own.
I hope someday you take the words from mommy and all the shit I give you and understand it’s all been said because we love you and want what’s best for you.
I hope someday you see that taking over and having the responsibility to raise you has been a struggle but that no matter how “good off me” you always claim to be, I will forever be your big sister who’s truly on your side.
I hope someday you see I still love you just like the day mommy brought you home, I mean I had no choice you were my first baby brother lol.
I hope someday you know I truly, truly just want what’s best for you and my only desire is to help mommy raise a honest, loving, gentleman since she is no longer here to do it herself.
I hope someday you see the sacrafises I have made to try and unite us all as a family and bring peace into our home.

In dedication to my brother Christopher.
Happy 16th Birthday to the biggest pain in my _ _ _👦🎂🎉


A promise to my goddaughter


Today is my niece’s 1st Birthday! I’ll never forget the day her mommy told me she was pregnant. I freaked out!!!
I was very up set with her and could not believe what I was hearing. Instead of being her friend and listening I turned into an angry big sister/mom. I told her she was such a dummy and if she had not learned enough from everything we suffered growing up in a house hold where we didn’t have much not even enough time with our momma.
I told her… “Do you not remember all we had to do? Pretty much raising ourselves because she had to go to work all the time? You can’t bring a baby into this world right now! Look at what you guys have to offer “her”… NOTHING!”
And even though my sister was annoyed she said she knew a lecture was coming when she told me. All she did was find humor in it and said “So you think it’s a Her?”
I could have killed her in that moment, always so dam stubborn.
However even though I thought I was right, I now see I wasn’t.
And I’d like to take this moment to say sorry. Not just to my sister but to my niece who I love so much. I’m sorry pretty girls.

Dear Audrina,
Happy 1st Birthday!🎉🎀
I love you very much and I could never imagine life with out you. I remember the day god brought you into this world like it was yesterday. First of all you kept us waiting like crazy, I remember spending the whole night up waiting for you to arrive and you never came, finally as I was coming back to the hospital from the first day of school your gamma called me to tell me you were on your way! I drove like a crazy lady and rushed to the hospital. I made it just in time as they came out to tell us you were finally here. I felt like a new little piece of hope, love, happiness and joy filled my heart and I knew right then and there as I looked into your beautiful (yet very swollen) eyes that I was going to love you more then anyone I’ve ever loved before. You were my niece and I was so happy that you were here. As you’ll know when you are old enough to understand we as a family were going through alot when we found out about you. Gamma (Nana) was very sick and is now no longer with us but I honestly  am so glad the Lord has put you in our lives to help us find peace and happiness with your silliness and to warm our hearts with all your love😍
I don’t have much to offer you (yet) but I promise I will be the best Nina you will ever have. Like I promised Grandma before she left us; I will always protect you, help you to the best of my ability with anything you need, love you no matter what you do or don’t do, and make sure you always know how beautiful and important you are. I promise to always try and lead you down the right path. I also promise to always help you, listen and understand you in case you make any mistakes. I promise you that as long as I live you will always have a helping hand and a shoulder to cry on.
But most of all I promise to love you with all my heart and soul.
I love you mucho Drina-winnaa, mi bolita de masita, mi gorda preciosa💕
Your favorite Auntie;

Happy Birthday up in Heaven


Happy Birthday up in Heaven
from your children here on earth.
We love you and We miss you,
and want to let you know…
Your birthdays aren’t forgotten.
and your memory yet lives on.
We your children will celebrate your life with us even though you’ve gone.
If God were to grant us just one wish,
then make that wish come true,
you’d be here right beside us
and we’d spend this special day with you.
And while here for your birthday
you would be so hugged and kissed
that you would know before you go
how much you’re loved and missed.

We hope that you enjoy yourself and are smiling from up above. And that you have a big ol’ cake with lots of strawberries on top.

We hope that you are proud very happy and stress free,  that you are looking at us and are delighted with what you see.

Happy 47th Birthday Mommy we love you and miss you so darn much.


Wishing you were here;

Birthday count down….


Holly Cow I’ll be 23 in less then 3 hours!!! Blah getting old stinks, but I absolutely love my birthdays because it makes me look back at how time has passed and changed a lot and although sometimes I miss some good old days… I’m so grateful for how much I have grown and learned.
Just thinking that two years ago I almost let the power of love take me down… How stupid would I have been to let that birthday be my last…
I’m so glad to be here.
I’m so grateful for all the amazing people god has allowed in my life and most of all still grateful for having my family together another year!:)
Thanks to all the awesome people who are still by my side, miss all the great ones who once were… wishing them the best and welcoming a new year and many more awesome people to come.
God knows all I want this year is for my moms good health, that he continues to give her strength to fight on, and that this path gets easier for her. However let god hear me that I’m ready for all he has to throw my way and all I ask for is strength through the hard times and lots of love to accompany me along the way.