Not even an air bag can stop me…

The other night I was in a great mood, on my way to wallmart to look for a new lunch pale, rocking out to country music, not on my phone or doing anything I shouldnt be doing while driving. Then all of a sudden this idiot decided to cut me off not realizing he was going way to fast for the traffic. He had to suddenly break and I don’t know what happened next. All I remember is trying to break, I guess I didn’t make it on time and my air bag popped directing towards my face but I been hit by an air bag before so I lifted my face as high as I could so that it wouldn’t get hit. I felt the hit right in my chest as I could smell and taste that nasty acidic powder that comes out of the air bag. I took a couple of seconds to make sure I was okay then it all hit me…

“F*&K MY CAR!! CRAP THAT HURT!! FREAKEN A-HOLE!”

I step out of my car and I just hear “F***, F***, F***!”

Still shocked I told him, “Sorry man, you shouldn’t have been speeding and I couldn’t break on time…”

He relaxed and we finished the process and of course according to the law; the accident was “my fault”.

So now my car is done! Who knows how much it’s going to cost to fix it, I only had liability insurance so I’m not covered… but he is so that’s good I guess, even though his car had like a scratch. I’m also alive, since the last time I got hit by an air bag my car flipped over and paramedics were shocked I wasn’t broken so that’s also a plus. I would hate to die in a car accident, that would suck.

Then I spend the next two days sad, sad because God knows I can’t afford this right now. Sad because I just finished paying off my car only a year ago, and sad because the year had just started and it was already not looking very good.

This morning as I was driving to work in my boyfriends car (lucky guy is in Vegas) and I was listening to Pandora to some rap, one of my favorite rappers said…

“So the next time you feel like your world’s about to end, I hope you studied because he’s testing your faith again” -Kendrick Lamar

In that moment I realized that it’s life all of it, accidents, loosing your job, breaking your phone, failing a class, crashing your car, loosing your purse/wallet, etc.

Everything happens for a reason maybe god wanted me to have a new car this year (even though he knows I hate car payments) but hey! He knows what’s best for me.

This morning I decided that as long as I still get to live, and have my family and loved one’s by my side; not an air bag or some A-hole on the road was going to stop me from being positive and enjoying the new year!!!

Sending positive vibes your way!
Kbeautifulmind

Oh 2014, the year to start living…

Hi Everyone!
Happy new year!

Do not wait until the conditions are perfect to begin. Beginning makes the conditions perfect. -Alan Cohen

For my first post for 2014 I just want to say “I’m not afraid anymore…” – Home Alone (I love these movies) ha ha.

What I meant by that is…
I been afraid for about three years now. Not just afraid about one thing but about many things.
In 2011 I was heart broken, scarred myself to continue to be afraid of love, trust, and happiness. I was afraid of friendship, new beginnings and moving forward. That lasted until late 2013… sadly to admit. I dwelled on all that had hurt me and on all I had done to hurt others actually making myself believe I was a horrible person… and every time something happened or I got hurt again I’d say “this is my karma”
In 2012 I became more angry then afraid wondering why everyone else around me seemed happy while I was still hurting, then at the very end of 2012 the year smacked me in the face and told me “Kels! Snap out of it, there is other more important thing’s…” as my mom was diagnosed I realized there was more to life, more things to worry about, to value.
In 2013 I had mixed feelings for life and how it all works as I wondered what the point of life was anyway…

However; this year…

I’m not afraid anymore!

I’ve finally took a deep breath, inhaled life for what it has to offer and decided that life goes on past the bad times, the regrets, the mistakes and the sadness and you have to move forward with it.

Times will be hard, sad, stressful and so on but nothing lasts forever so we must live and try to relax through it all.

With god by my side and my faith in him, I know 2014 will be just right.

Small thought;

Kbeautifulmind

Last night as I was getting out from work my mom called me and asked me if I wanted to join her for confession…

I lied and said I was still at work, and went Christmas shopping instead.

I don’t know why I lied but I think it was because I hadn’t been to confession and hadn’t even step foot in a church in over a year.

One of my favorite things to do this time of year is to attend midnight mass on christmas eve and I didn’t even make it to that last year…

When I was driving home that night I began to ask myself why I lied? And I had no excuse. I think I was afraid to face him.

I use to go to church every Sunday and always participated in confession, prayer, and I actually enjoyed it. I found it to be a place of peace and I felt happy when I was there.

Last year when my mom was diagnosed, I became mad at god. I was upset with him as I spend my days asking him why she deserved this? What made him choose her? Hasn’t she been through enough? Haven’t we been through enough? Why are you doing this to us!?!?!
I was very very mad at god; I had never felt so hurt, mad, and lost. I felt my faith dissolving.

Then one night when I was off on a Sunday my mom asked if I’d like to attend church with her, I told her “No I’m too tired”… and she confronted me…

“Well every Sunday for the last couple of months your excuse has been “work” today your excuse is you’re “tired” even though you are off? I don’t know what your deal is or why you no longer like to go to church but let me tell you something, we are still breathing and have all we have thanks to the man up stairs. Sometimes you need to take a little break and tell him thank you. If you don’t want to go to church then I hope you are at least speaking to him….”

If she only knew how much I was speaking to him, more like questioning him…

I stayed very quite and then told her “I don’t know If I believe in god anymore, I’m mad at him.”

My mom’s face looked like I had just slapped her really really hard.

She looked at me with a face of disappointment and said…

“I am so shocked to hear that coming from some one who use to always tell me, “No matter what happeneds, If we have faith everything will be okay!” I get you are mad so was I but I do believe he only gives us what we can handle.”

And she left…

I ended up crying myself into a nap after that. When I woke up I knew she was right, I went for a walk and I apologized to god for questioning him and yelling. I told him I was sorry and how grateful I was for still protecting me and being by my side even when I lost faith in him.

A year later today, I decided to go to confession and really face him. Before we were dismissed to stand in line to confess to one of the 25 priests, there was a small mass. The priest directing it said something along the lines of “… he never pushes us away no matter our sins, we push him away” and he was right. I pushed god away even when he still had my back and stood by my side.

Now I know not everyone reading this is a roman catholic like I am, but I am sharing this with the hope that if anyone is going through hard times like I am, understand that “everything happeneds for a reason” and with even just a little bit of faith, everything will be okay.

Faithful;
Kbeautifulmind

Christmas time is really here…

My mom and I bought a Tree today. We love decorating for the holidays, we were both really excited.

Now that’s good Christmas spirit!

First off, let me start by mentioning I absolutely looovvvvee Christmas.

It is my favorite holiday off all time.
I don’t know what it is, it might be the lights, decorations, the music, the food, my tradition of attending midnight mass or even the mistletoe.
It can be all of these things or some more then others but the entire idea of Christmas brings me peace and happiness and the excitment to build more memories.

There has only been two Christmas e’s when I’ve ever felt sad, and that was Christmas 2010 and last Christmas in 2012.

Last December we had just found out that my mother had Lung Cancer Stage four and I was wounded with the terrible news. As much as I smiled and showed everyone I was okay, like I always do with any situation… I was hurting. I was mad at god, that I didn’t attend midnight mass. I was worried and so afraid that this might be my last Christmas with my best friend.

Now a year has gone by, and thank god she’s still by our side. She looks so healthy and she’s fighting strong.

This brings me all the christmas joy I need. I know its not forever and no matter who is sick or not tomorrow is still never promised to any of us. However, what I do know is, I am so grateful to have my family here today. I pray tonight to have them again tomorrow by my side and for many more years to come.

Faith is all I need to hope for a wonderful Chritmas this year♡

Happy Holidays;
Kbeautifulmind

A year ago…

Most of the time we as humans just go day by day with out appreciating life and realizing how time flys by.
The only time we notice how fast time has gone is when someone’s birthday comes up, some kind of anniversary, or someone dearly to us passes away.

I use to be like that, I had my usual prayers “may god protect my family, loved ones and friends from all bad and evil blah blah blah” but I never really thought about it, I didnt sit there to think that I might go to bed and might wake up to tragic news or may not even wake up at all.

Until a year ago today…

I was at a loved ones funeral, I stood at the burial listening to the soothing music playing in the back ground and I began to sing along because it was one of my mother’s favorite songs. With tears in my eyes I began to watch everyone else around me crying with such hurt because they were either the sister, brother, son, daughter, grandson, granddaughter, cousin, friend, niece or nephew of this wonderful lady and they all had to say good bye with hope to see her again someday. The one person who broke my heart the most was the mother, her cry yelled her hurt and pain. After all she had already barried 3 of her children. I’ve always heard the saying “A mother or father never wants to bury a child” and I understood the sadness behind it but watching this lady hurt so much made me understand the meaning of it. It broke my heart to pieces, I felt such a heavy burden because I just wanted to help her but there was no way I could.

In that moment I began to think about my mom who at the time was in the hospital trying to get better from a “pneumonia”. Last I heard they were going to get some test results that day and we could take her home. As I thought about her I told god “This might not be the right time or place but I just want to say Thank you, that you’ve yet to put me through this and I pray you wait a very very long time for that because this is so painful that I couldn’t imagine loosing my mother or a sibling.”

I just needed to thank god because the woman who passed ment so much to me and even more to her immediate family. I couldn’t imagine how I would cry, act, feel if it was my mother or a sibling.

In that moment I began to realize how nice it was to still have my family here to hear, hold, kiss and even fight with.

After all the tears and hugs, we headed out for a reception in honor of the deceased where they would play music, a clip with many pictures and memories and have a bunch of yummy food. I honestly already had no appetite and seeing the pictures made me more sad that she was gone. However, I knew I had to be strong because I was there to support a lot of people I had grown to care about.

As I began to eat a bit and watch the beautiful memorabilia they made, my phone rang…

It was my mother, I was waiting for her call because she promised to call me as soon as they gave her the results of the exams.

I’ll never forget this moment…

“Hello?”
“Hi mija the results are in…”
“What did they say?”
“Kelsey, don’t cry, don’t get mad, and try to relax…”

Tears had already started running down my eyes to my cheeks…

“What mom!? Tell me already…”

“I have Lung Cancer… Stage 4…”

“What!?”

I cried and I cried and I cried I was so mad I couldn’t understand why and how god could do this to us…

I could hear her as she began to sob her self and said “Kelsey I told you not to cry!!!”

All I could say was “Come on mom…”

After we hung up I was so mad I was standing in the back of the building by a door and I felt as if life was crashing down on me, I couldn’t breath I tried to catch some air but I felt myself having an anxiety attack my stomach was turning and all I could taste was the salty tears running down my face into my mouth…

I was hugged by those around me including the mother of the deceased who told me “Look at me! We don’t know why god does these things but what we do know is he only gives us what we can handle, you must be strong for your mother she needs you more then she has ever needed you right now…” I could hear everything everyone was telling me including what she said but I was not comprehending like it was in another language! I was surrounded by all these loving people but in that moment I felt alone in my mind asking god “What the hell is your problem? Why my family after all we have gone through?”

Now, a year later I honestly don’t understand how we have done it. But I do understand what the lady said when she told me “we are only given what we can handle” and I finally comprehend even if I hate to accept it. I am so emotional because I honestly did not think my mom would see another Thanksgiving or Holiday Season. I am so so happy and so grateful that she is here with us and I pray to god, now that I’ve made peace with him again and apologized for attacking him that he please keep her here with me for many more years to come and continue to help her be strong so that she could fight on.

I am also grateful and appreciate all those wonderful people that were by my side the minute our family found out. We were forced to welcome cancer into our lives as I was trying to support another family who had just lost a loved one to cancer. But if I had not had them there by my side I wouldn’t have been okay. I am also thankful for those that have stayed by my side until today.

Day by day nothing may change but when you look back everything is different, we must take a minute and appreciate today so that we don’t find ourselves looking back with regret.

Spreading my hope and faith to all of you,
Kbeautifulmind

What if I fell into a coma…

Today I sit here tired and bored getting paid to do nothing.
I should be taking this time to start working on my term paper but my brain is filled with so many other thoughts.
Life can be such a handful, I begin to think about all that has gone wrong in my life and all that has gone right.
I have fallen as many times as I have been lifted up yet the falling always seems to hurt more.
Today the scars outweight my heart and I begin to wonder or imagine this story of what would happen if I fell into a coma.
I wouldn’t want to check out for a long time maybe 3 months max, into a deep sleep where my body, mind and soul just gets to rest and rebut it’s self so that it comes back with a stronger grip on life.
There is so many questions I’d want answered when I woke up.
What did I miss?
Who still lives?
Who was born?
Who was worried about me?
And who stood by my side for all 3 months?
I also began to wonder what If I woke up and remebered nothing?
Would I be okay starting over with a blank slate? Or would I miss some of it?
Who would I remember? What would I forget?

I almost drove myself crazy thinking about this. I mean seriously it would be a big deal to be able to check out like that with the possibility that you might wake up knowing no one or remembering nothing!?

In a way it would be nice, even though my past makes me the better person I am today, If some of these memories could be erased I would no longer have to feel some of the pain and hurt that haunts me on random days.

Then I relized that even though there is more things I would like to forget then those I want to remember; If I actually forgot a lot of these things I’d probably feel empty.
I began to realize that its the memories in my life that make me who I am and have kept me going.

However I have to admit it be nice to at least have the option…

Maybe, just maybe if it could be as easy as grabbing it all like a group of documents or pictures you no longer want or need and putting them in a fire pit, watching them burn slowly and once they were done burning they’d be gone forever. If they could be gone but still leave me with the good lessons and not take away my new persona with them would I take it? Would I be willing to let go of everything in order to no longer hurt until of course getting hurt again?

Its a very interesting thought…. isn’t it?
What would you do?

I might take burning it all over the coma… If only.

Kbeautifulmind.

Something in side me….

There is something in side of me that eats at me.
This something comes along at random times of the day; ruining my mood, making me loose focus and making me weaker everytime.
I can be happy and in a good mood, thinking positive, and then it shows up like a wild beast ready to destroy me.
It always starts off with my brain and it argues with me in side my head.
What did you do?
What are you doing?
What’s going on?
What’s coming next?
I quickly question it and ask “What are you talking about? Everything is great!”

But it shakes it’s head at me saying “You can fool everyone else but you can not full me”
After my mind it moves slowly and takes over my heart like a tumor swallowing it slowly, not wanting it to live.
It brings me to tears, and I feel my lungs drying up, Im loosing air…
“Could I die like this?”

It’s making me feel like I’m not enough, like the fault is all mine…

That’s when I begin to think that maybe I’m not so tough.

And then…

Something inside me wakes up, and it fights!

And I fight it and even though it takes a little piece of me every time it can’t seem to ever take me hole.

And I say to it…

“I will never let you take me out that way”

Kbeautifulmind.

When I look into my niece’s eyes…

You wouldn’t believe the most amazing things that come from the unexpected surprises in our lives…♡

When my sister got pregnant I was mad at her.
I say some pretty mean things when I’m hurt. I mean they do say “Never believe what comes out of a persons mouth when they are mad” or “She/He was mad and didn’t mean it”
and in my case this is very true.
Usually when Im mad I laugh at people or at the situation. Ironic I know but the truth is that making me mad doesn’t happen often in my life; However hurting me can come very easy if you put effort into it well at least if I’ve grown to care about you a lot you can really destroy me emotionally.
For example, hurt me then asked me “Do you still love me?”
and you’ll probably get an “I don’t know” or I’ll make up a good one and tell you “I’ve moved on an put fire to the rain” even if I’m dying inside from all the hurt because I still love you with all my heart.

Sadly I shut down and build a wall and sadly most people haven’t stuck around long enough to break it so I just stay hurt and thats sadly the end of that…

Now piss me off, disappoint me and hurt me and even I am disturbed with what comes out of my mouth… its a very bad habit I am honestly ashamed of but I guess it’s because when I love I go all in and when I get hurt I feel so broken I just don’t know how to deal with it.

Well like I said when I found out my sister was pregnant I was hurt because she had made me a promise that ment a lot to me, I was disappointed because she betrayed that promise and I was mad because in that moment I felt like she was an idiot for allowing this to happen knowing her life wasn’t all put together like it should be. She knew how much we had suffered with our single mom so why the HELL not break the cycle and better her future…

As you can see growing up with a single mom has hurt me a lot because I don’t want my siblings to have to suffer like my mom has. I don’t want them to “work to die” I want them to “work to live” I want them to make a bright future out of themselves and become independent successful people.
When my sister told me she was pregnant I thought her life was over…
and to some young parents it is but not because they had a baby but because they waisted it and took it for granted.
Thats when I realized that my mom didn’t “work to die” she might have worked hard all her life and didn’t get to work to “live it up” but she worked for us and she gave us a great life and loved us so much and that is living. Yeah we suffered, we stressed but then again who doesn’t.
Then on August 25th at around 1:25pm Audrina Genevieve came into our world. When I met my niece and looked into those big googly eyes I couldn’t believe it. In that moment I knew that the future of my sister wouldn’t depend on the fact that this blessing from above was now with us. It wouldn’t make a diffrence it was still on how my sister wanted to build it for herself. I realized that baby or no baby she was still going to make things happen the way she wanted to.

Yes it will be a bit harder and at times she might stress more then others but I now know Audrina is a unexpected blessing to all of us and I am so grateful for her.

Audrina has brought happiness, hope and faith in to our lives. This is something that was covered by a sad storm last December. She is our little Angel god send us to show us that everything will be alright.

When I look into my niece’s eyes I can now see that she was the best unexpected surprise anyone could have ever asked for♥

Therefor when times seem hard, and life is just dark remember that god is sending something good your way you might just not realize what it is going to come in. It can come in a new love, a good friend, or even in a addition to the family. Just know that it’s coming and it will soon brighten up your life again♥

Happy Auntie;
Kbeautifulmind

Dam you Desperate House Wives…

My Sundays are the most boring days of my week, you see even though I work 6 days a week and go to school 4 days a week I like it a bit because it keeps me busy, gives me no time to think about the hard times and over all keeps me moving.

I know its not good to bottle it all up inside because its unhealthy for the human body.
If many of you didn’t know negative stress is the most deadly disease there could be. It is one of the causes for many other diseases to our bodies and its one of the most horrible feelings in the world. I say one of the most because I honestly think a heart break might be worse.

It’s probably the main cause of my moms cancer since she has lived her hole life in stress and working hard to give us a decent living.

Anyway, Sundays are so boring I rarly have anything to do at work that I sit here and fiddle with my phone, play candy crush or go on my social media apps or pin on pintrest till Im tired of it. As I do that Ill watch a movie on Netflix or a new show series. You would think I’d take this time to do some homework but I can’t seem to concentrate on homework when Im here. Ironic I know, but it really really gets that boring. This morning I painted my nails and at the same time continued to watch the TV show series of “Desperate House Wives” I like this show because although some of it may seem a bit “stupid” there is always a lesson or some kind of knot that ties the hole episode together and gives it a meaning.
This morning I saw an episode of season 5 called “The best thing that ever could have happened” Basically the episode ties around the story of a “handy man” who came to wisteria lane the street where all these rich wives and their husbands live in and asked one of them for a job, he slowly made his way around the block and made his business grow. Although the guy could fix anything what truly got him all his jobs was the big heart he carried in his cheast. The man was not only a handy man but also a wonderful friend that sadly these ladies didn’t notice as much as they should have. He would give them great advise and help them with more then just a lock, or a window or a clogged sink. Anyway the man died of a heart attack and the hole episode the ladies would remember how he helped them. They began to realize how wonderful he was as a person not just a great handy man.
Anyway the episode brought me to tears like dramatic big fat water fall tears that I was very glad in that moment how slow work was on Sundays. Ha ha

I mean if you know me well, you know that I am a BIG cry baby, yes I am. I cry to the lion king, every love story in a film and I own many of them on DVD and no matter how many times I watch them I ALWAYS cry. It’s something I don’t know where I picked it up from because my father was as cold as the North Pole and my mom is not really emotional either. She always says that “crying isn’t going to fix anything”
Anyway I cried for her actually. I cried because my mom has a heart as big as that handy man on the show and she has always been such a great friend and helping hand to so many people.

I honestly use to hate it. I would get so mad at her that she’d always be going the extra mile for all of her “so called” friends. Most of them till this day have not realized how great she is. From rides, to a place to stay, advise and even driving a friend home once after catching her cheating husband at some bar at 2 in the morning. I would get mad at her because I felt they didn’t appreciate her and most of them really didn’t.
One day I remember telling her “Ugh! You are so annoying why do you go out of your way for your stupid ungrateful friends? Your always doing anything to help them and when the hell do they ask you how your doing?” She laughed at me and said “I know, I know shut up already”

Then one night a couple of years back I got home from a very annoying night of driving around a group of drunk boys that were old friends/acquaintances.

She laughed when I walked in and said “Don’t you work tomorrow? And need to drive all the way back to Northridge?” “I said yes, why do you ask?”
and that’s when she said to me…
“You see in some ways you are as “annoying” as I am. You sit here and always ask me why I do so much for all these so called “friends” of mine but here you are coming in late because your friends were drunk so they needed a designative driver. And if you haven’t notice your always one to offer help to your friends and loved ones. You practically give your life for the guy your in love with and would do anything to make life easier for those around you no matter how hard your life is. So tell me do they ever ask you how your doing? Feeling? If times are hard or not? Probably not!
You see Kelsey it’s not that your dumb or trying to be “annoying” but its just that some of us were born with big hearts and the patience and ability to help people. We hurt for others when they are in pain and we feel that we must help anyone in need. Now weather you enjoy it or not which in your case you don’t. However you’ll come to a time in your life when you’ll realize that as annoying as it is or weather people appreciate it or not you know you are doing a good thing. You know that you couldn’t just walk away and make your drunk friends find their own ride or even worse drive them selves. But most of all you’ll know that god gave you a big heart for a reason and although at times you may dread helping others because you feel they don’t appreciate it or take advantage of you. When that day comes you wont care because you are a caring, helping person like your mom and you’ll be okay helping others because in that moment you’ll know that this is the special gift that god gave you and you will know he watches our every move. When that time comes just remember that one who gives will always receive even if it is not directly from the same person.”

I cried to this episode of Desperate House Wives because I finally had that moment. I was so proud to see how I have grown, proud to know that my moms good ways have rubbed off on me. Although I get annoyed with people very easily and I can’t stand ungrateful jerks that don’t notice how much you care about them and what you would do to make them happy. In that moment I realized that she was right. I dont regret driving drunk friends around. Opening my home to an old friend I saw as my sister who later betrayed me by saying my family was a group of losers who couldn’t financially keep themselves stabled. I dont regret going out of my way for anyone even dropping my entire life for a guy I saw the rest of my life with. Because from all of those experiences I did get something back in return. I grew and I learned to better appreciate life around me, to appreciate those who were still by my side, to learn from my own mistakes and regrets and to make a pact with god that as long as I live and I can I will continue to help those around me because someday they will notice and if they don’t Ill be at peace because I know he does.

Being a big cry baby like always;
Kbeautifulmind.

Little o’ miss nice cinderella♥

Hello everyone;
I like to greet all of you like if I have regular readers or something like that…
Ha ha I know its silly but everytime I get on here I imagine myself in a room sitting there and actually talking to a bunch of people or even a small audience…
I’m a weirdo, I know. Anyway it has been a very long time since I have wrote anything but to admit I’m always writing in my head its just hard to keep up with my blog on top of my busy life…
I just got out of work, I work two jobs and go to school full time. I work 6 days a week with one day off and that’s the day I’m in school ALL DAY. So as you may see Im a busy busy bee.
In all of that I manage to fit in a relationship with a great guy who also works full time and goes to school so he is very understanding 🙂
And I can’t forget about my amazing friends who are also busy bee’s and well I try my very BEST to fit them into my schedule too! They KNOW and also understand!
Anyway it’s nights like these where my feet hurt, my back aches and I had to work a hole other hour because I work with some lazy ass people who could careless if the work gets done, now they aren’t all like that but the ones that are make me just want to scream and say “Forget this s#&t!”
I’ve lost count of the days that I just want to throw everything on the floor & say “Forget work I can’t even stand these jobs 80 percent of the time, forget school and this degree that takes too long and forget everyone and everything! I’m done being nice, I’m done being the only one that plays by the rules and being little miss nice cinderella…”
Then god reminds me…
Its like some sort of will power takes over my body and tells me to “chill out!”
It tells me that my break is coming soon and one day I’ll be able to look back with pride and see that everything I have is not because anyone else handed it to me but because I (ME!) worked hard for it!
This thing, a very powerful thing that gets inside tells me to look around and see that I am alive, I have met my long life friends, Im loved truly and my momma is still by our side smiling, my family is united and healthy and have all gotten another chance at another day!”
That’s when I breath, I relax and take a minute to thank god for all I have for it might not be worth much to others but to me its worth everything…

So remember you may be tired today

(Shoot! IM SUPER tired!)

But tomorrow is another day that reminds you that if your lucky enough to have the chance and live it, your that much closer to your carriage, that much closer to the ball and the happy ending, to the days where all the hard work will pay off!

Little o’ miss nice cinderella;
Kbeautifulmind