Hi my name is Kelsey, and I give all the fucks in this world😆🌏
I try too fucken hard, I love too fucken hard, I care too fucken much, I’m too fucken nice, I talk too fucken much, I’m too fucken emotional, I scream, cry, laugh, and live too fucken much.
But Im okay with that, because I love who I am.
I never been more happy or comfortable in my own skin like I am today.
And I fucken love it! 🙌
xoxo💕
Easter morning and I wake up with chills, as I lay on the bed wishing you were here.
Easter has always been the holiday that brought you so much joy, because you loved the atmosphere there was in the world.
You always shared with me your thoughts and said…
“Today just seems to bring unity in families and you can’t help but feel blessed.”
Last year Easter was just so cold and blue, as it fell on the Sunday of April 20th only two days before twenthy two.
As you laid there on your death bed with the hospice nurse by your side, she told us to celebrate today like everything was fine.
But how could we enjoy the holiday you loved so much, if you were in pain no longer able to look at us or say much.
I remember just holding you as I tried not to cry, my body so tired with no sleep or food to give it life.
Easter Sunday last year was a day of unity and love, but filled with so much pain as we waited for god to take you in his arms.
I didn’t feel peace, nor did I feel blessed, as you’ve always made me feel in the past because I was losing my bestfriend.
Yet here I am almost a year later on Easter morning, laying in bed, listening to your favorite songs, and in between all the tears and the pain I some how feel blessed.
I guess it’s because, I can still feel your presence.
-Kbeautifulmind
I miss you mommy.
I once confused
comfort with happiness
and
insecurities with love.
-Kbeautifulmind
I saved the date.
You said good bye, the night cold as ice, as I stood in the rain, with that sharp pain in my heart.
I could not understand, what had I done wrong, all the pain you had already caused, but I brushed it right off.
So why was it me?
The one paying for this, watching you go, I couldn’t breathe.
I couldn’t understand.
No, I just couldn’t see pass you leaving.
But I saved the date.
And it’s crazy how wonderful time can be.
I’m better than I should be,
I’m better than you left me, when you gave me that call.
I’m stronger than that girl, the one you pushed around, as you played games with her heart.
I’m better than I should be,
I’m better than you left me, you see baby…
I don’t think you’d even know me anymore.
I’m confident and satisfied, my heart has healed from the wounds of your departure.
Because I’m better than I should be,
I’m better than you left me, now that I realized you did me a favor.
Now I love deeper,
Laugh so much louder,
Feel so much happier because I saved the date of the fourth.
-Kbeautifulmind
I’ve never been so happy to be me:)
I use to envy others, not for material things because I could truly careless what others have in that sense.
However I use to envy the “struggle less” lives of others, their family bonds, people who had both of their parents in their lives, their grandparents, and over all family unity.
Why?
Well because I’ve never had that, I come from one parent who is now in heaven, we don’t have family very local and as much as I love the holiday’s, they are all pretty darn boring with just 5 of us.
So I’d say, I wish my family was like this, I wish we could all get together like this, or have the bond they have…
But as you get to know people, read them, learn about their closet skeletons and really learn who they are…
You grow and you realized how wonderful it is to be YOU and to be a part of something as real as your own life, no matter how imperfect it seems.
So rememeber guys, you like I may not be lucky enough to have the ideal “brady bunch” family but that family is your family!
A family who loves you unconditionally, and that’s as good as it gets.
You like I may seem disfuntional to the rest but there is no one else that is you better than YOU.
And…
You like I may sometimes feel like the stress, bad luck, or hard moments may never end, but there is no one out there that can outshine and live this life any better than you can.
Love your’s.
-Kbeautifulmind
“Why did you stay?”
I don’t know why I stayed? I don’t know if it’s because I wanted to fix him, I tend to always want to help or fix people.
I knew I loved him at one point, so love could have been apart of it.
or maybe I actually believed in him…
I think that could have been it, I believed he was better then what he represented himself to be.
I believed in his ugly, and was willing to let it get ugly to make him beautiful.
-Kbeautifulmind
She’ll brighten up your life if you paint her pretty and always sketch her smile with nothing but happiness.
She’s a soft place to land and a good feeling, knowing that she’s a fighter when she’s mad and a lover when she’s loving.
She’ll give you the respect you very well deserve if you color up her days with love and affection and never cause her hurt.
-Kbeautifulmind 🌻
You guys want to talk about me, tell people ya’ll don’t know about me.
Telling them that ya’ll don’t know if I could succeed, if I can control what my mom left to me.
But what you guys don’t know is that this is all me, raising them is all I have known since my brother was three.
When his father took off and it went all back on her, a warrior and hero that did all she could to make me believe.
Believe in my self and understand what this was, the struggles we lived and how we never had enough.
Enough to live up to the standards of the rest, remember when we were kids you guys were considered the best.
But now look at me and all I can be, don’t question what I’m doing if you ain’t helping me.
I got this don’t trip, she prepared me enough, she knew who to trust and I’m doing it with love.
Keep running your mouths and continue to doubt, for all your are doing is pumping me up to be the best there is now.
Don’t worry about us, we already have enough, and we will only get more as we rise up our empire and are no longer apart of the poor.
That’s when you will see that our angel is here, as she believes and knows exactly what we could be.
When we succeed I can’t wait to watch you all cringe.
Cringe from the negativity you tried to poison us with, because you didn’t want to believe.
-Kbeautifulmind
I always thought that we would be together.
Since the day I first met you, that smile scarred my soul and I just couldn’t forget you.
I could have sworn that we would be together, when we reunited I believed that we would last forever.
Look at us now just two lovers from the past, walking past each other, just two strangers who couldn’t last.
It just seems so sad when you think back, but sadly there is no coming back from the pain that has been caused.
Maybe the timing wasn’t right again, or maybe you weren’t ready to move on, maybe the timing was right but you weren’t ready to be drawn.
Drawn into commitment, since you couldn’t stop telling all those lies only causing us to continue to fight.
Maybe it was me, maybe I wasn’t as good as I could be,
or maybe I just tried too hard, and took my effort into extremes.
I guess we will never know because there ain’t no way I’m looking back, It just seems so sad when I think about the things you use to say, all the promises you made.
Because…
I always thought that we would be together, when we reunited I believed that we would last forever.
-Kbeautifulmind
Dear Momma,
What does it look like in heaven?
Is it peaceful?
Is it as nice as they say?
Does the sun shine bright forever?
or do you still get the privilege to see the beautiful moon and the stars at the end of the day?
Are you with your love ones and some of your friends?
Have your fears and your pain gone away?
I sure hope so…
Here on earth everything’s different…
Things changed a lot since you been gone, but I’m sure your watching it all from above.
Life is pretty good for me, as a matter of fact I’m better than you left me, but it feels like everything good is missing since you left.
There’s an emptiness I just can’t explain.
I truly hope you’re doing great!
I hope you’re dancing in the sky and I hope you’re singing all of your favorite songs.
I hope your cooking all of your favorite foods and that everyone likes it just like we do.
I hope you’re laughing and having a blast.
I hope your days are filled with love and light and that you never stress or worry at all.
I bet it’s so nice up in heaven since you’ve arrived.
Tell me are you happy?
Are you more alive?
Because here on earth it feels like everything good is missing since you left, there’s an emptiness I just can’t explain.
Praying for your peaceful rest,
Your daughter.
-Kbeautifulmind
Kbeautifulmind 