I lay here and look over at the box.

The pretty, pretty box you most definitely would have loved.

You didn’t pick it out, but I knew when I saw it that the colors, the shape, and the image imprinted represented the perfect place for your ashes to rest.

I look at the picture of us on the wall to the right of the box.

What I’d give to have you here again.

I close my eyes, tears begin to run down…

I allow the moment to take me back to that day.

I remember the garden like it was yesterday, the leaves were beginning to fall off from many of the trees.

The oranges we picked were so delighting to taste.

The wind was the perfect breeze, it was a chilly day but the sun was shinning and it helped keep us warm enough.

The laughs, the annoyance with the boys not wanting to take pictures anymore, and the shit talking we all did to each other.

“Just like super models…” said the photographer, and we gave each other a funny face and laughed.

You with that shy smile, and me with my perky giggle.

I miss you.

I miss bugging you for pictures.

I miss your laughter.

Your shy smile.

Your ridiculous jokes.

I miss your accent.

I miss your shit talking.

“Why you smile? Is not funny!”

I miss it all.

I miss taking care of you.

I wish I would have done it sooner, better.

Heck, I even miss rubbing your feet one thing I dreaded growing up…

“Mom, again!”

“Please, I am tired, I had a long day.”

“Ugh, fine but just FIVE minutes.”

I even miss fighting with you.

I want to fight with you.

Instead of fighting with them…

I want to fight with you.

Instead of fighting to making it through this…

I rather be fighting with you, instead of fighting myself to hold on.

1095 days. 1095 days since you been gone, and I’d give anything even just to fight with you again.

-Kbeautifulmind