“Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what your going to get.“
As I sit here looking at my summer school registration and what my options are for STATS 50, I begin to reminiscent of my freshmen year in college and how long ago that was (about four years ago). I begin to talk my self down a bit and start to say “Wow Kelsey you’re on your fourth year of college and you still can’t finish with your general education? What’s wrong with you?” and that’s when I look up and see the box of chocolates on the table and I start to break it down for myself to remind myself that I’m going to be okay…
In 2008 I graduated from High School in the small town of Monrovia, California and if it wasn’t for the help of some of the staff members as well as my godfather I wouldn’t have been on my way to a four year University, at the fact that I am the first in my family to go to college. In the summer of 2008 I started my first year at Cal State Northridge. As August came I left all the familiar faces from my home town and into a city I went to a new apartment with almost all knew faces (with the exception of my roommate who went to high school with me, and is now my best friend). My first year in college went pretty smoothly and I said to myself “This is easy Ill be finished in four years, than I can go for my masters and my PH.D and Ill be done by age 25-26. Than I can get married and after a year or so start my future family” and there I had it, I had my plan and my box of chocolates and It all seemed sweet and dandy.
and this is where the “you never know what your going to get” comes in…
In my sophomore year at the end of my fall semester, I was in a horrible car accident. This caused me to miss the last month of school which got me a D in my biology class, I had to get a new car not to mention a month later I quit my job because my boss was making me uncomfortable, and I now had to miss spring semester of school because there was an investigation on my school grants and my entire situation.
so I told myself “your going to be okay its just a little bump on the road your only a semester behind”
My junior year came and Fall semester was a success, I moved back home the drive wasn’t to bad everything seemed okay. Than during my winter break my life began to “fall apart” at least as it seemed at the moment. I no longer knew what road I was on anymore, my support I had was no longer by my side, and the people I called “friends” were not the people I thought I knew. I felt alone and all I had was hope that in only a couple of months things would go back to normal. I began to realize I wasn’t appreciated and as my life changed I knew I was worth more than the credit I was given as well as the things I was allowing myself to go through, so I decided to put a stop to it. I than made a drastic change and oh man was it heartbreaking, the hardest decisions to make are the ones your heart does not desire. Spring semester came and it was all a big blur to me, my life was changing and half the times I wasn’t sure if I wanted to see what was going to come next. I was confused and so afraid, heartbroken, alone and lost, and half the times miss lead, I had no idea how to get back on the road and stick to my plan.
I ended up failing my statistics class a grade very well deserved, half the time I didn’t even show up for class.
and here I was only months away from my 21st birthday with my box of chocolates that didn’t turn out to be quite what I expected. Not knowing where I was, what I wanted, or If what I wanted was even worth the wait, I was ready to dispose of it, yet something in my mind told me to wait and try some more.
to make things worse CSUN told me I had to take my STATS class some where else, because of my academic results financial aid was no longer going to pay for it. They said I could return once I had passed the class.
I thought Id loose it, this was it my life was OVER.
Through the support of my close friends and wonderful mother I realized my life wasn’t over and this was just another bump on my road to success.
My summer was nice, I met new people, got close to some and fell apart with others, I cleared my mind and I was ready to accept all that had happened and do all I could to just look forward.
I took my fall semester at a community college and although I didn’t get the Stats class I needed I caught up and I got back on the road. I had wonderful people by my side and I was no longer letting anything stop me.
and here I am spring semester taking Statistics wondering if I’m even going to pass or if Ill have to take it again in the summer… (which for the record it is the 3rd time but because I didn’t learn anything the first time it will be like the 2nd.)
I come to realize that who cares if my box of chocolates isn’t filled with only good,sweet,chocolaty pieces.
and maybe I will have to take STATS again, and I might not get my PH.D till age 30-32 but at least my mind is set that someday I’m going to get there and when I do hold the name of Dr. I can say that I did it and succeeded.
You see school isn’t a sweet rich piece of chocolate, but if it wasn’t hard everyone would do it, it’s the hard that makes it great.
So with my story as example, I tell you that no matter who you are, your age or what your goals and dreams are in life and how long they take don’t let the gross pieces in your box of chocolates stop you from finishing strong.
Because…
Life is like a box of chocolates, loaded with surprises, some delightful and some downright disagreeable. The delicious ones, of course, are easy to swallow, but the gross ones can make you so sick to your stomach that you want to just give up and throw them all away.
However the gross ones determine our depth of character. If life was all sweet and dandy, and your faith and dreams were never challenged, how could any of us be unique and proud after we succeed? It’s the bad times that test our faith and help us to mature as we learn to rely on ourselves and believe in our heart. This makes us see that with another taste, that piece might be the sweet and chocolatey one that reminds us that in the end it will all be worth it.
Yours Truly;
Kbeautifulmind.
It is amazing how similar our lives are! I can relate to your post. I am losing friends left and right since i graduated high school. I feel like they have changed sooo much or that I never really knew the real them. I used to be the ‘It’ girl at school and had so many friends, I have now been relegated to a “loner” here at college. On top of all this, my boss has been hitting on me and I wonder how you dealt with it. It truly has been terrible and I am under so much pressure! I dont want to fail but it seems like that is my destiny. Please Help me! Give me some advice you seem like you really know it all. I read in one of your posts that you are studying psychology, how much do you charge per session? I have a lot to get off my chest it seems like no one hear’s me out. plz right me back.
~Suzzan~
Hello Suzzan
I’d like to start by saying take a deep breath and relax 🙂
I can tell your under a lot of pressure just through your message, everything will be okay…
Lets start with your friends you are probably right you either never knew who they were or they flat out just changed… you see I feel like time changes all, some of us for the better and some of us for the worst. I always find myself looking back remembering who people were when they were apart of my life and who they have become and at times it makes me really sad, other times I remind myself that its just life nothing is forever you know? I mean yeah you were the it girl in HS but dont allow what you were in the past make you feel like you are a loner now, why should you allow that? So you dont have a big crowed of “friends” by your side… who cares? You shouldnt! Its their lost to not appreciate who you are and that should only help you appreciate the hand ful of friends you have even more and it should help you be thankful to have them in your life! I know its hard I been there and like I said sometimes even find myself going back and even making these story lines about “HAD I been like this or done that or hadn’t done that?…” but in the end Suzzan everyday is a lesson, everyday is one less day you have and you shouldnt let these things get in between your main goals and dreams. Now your boss lets see…. Have you spoke to him about the issue? Tell him youd aporeciate it if he’d back off and keep the relationship professional, if he hasnt listened by then and you work for a big company report him to HR no one should have to deal with such scum bags. My best advise is start looking for a new job and get out of there, Ive been there and I chose to just find something better. Most importantly repeat after me “Failure is NOT my destiny! Many obsticles will come my way but those are just bumps on the road to success!” Trust me I KNOW life is hard I’ve gone and I am going through so much more now in days that I have been wanting to write I just havnt found the time to do so…. and I’ve had days where I got in the car and screamed, than I take deep breaths turn up the music and sing my heart away! My point is times are going to get hard but the word is “success” if it was easy it be more like a handout. The hard times are what help you succeed as long as you take control of the wheal and speed right through that bump! I hope this helps…
Sincerely
Kbeautifulmind
P.S I am studying Psychology but I am still a student not a professional there for I do not charge anything, this is why I made my blog to be a friend to those who need it.