Tag: women

“Forever be what I need myself to be”

I’ll forever be what I need myself to be, and nobodies stopping me.
For no words, thoughts, or actions from those who spread poison can affect me.
You see, I’m not your ordinary woman.
My heart grew more intact as the result of my battles.
I some how survived and became immune to all the struggles.
And yes the tears will still appear at times, but don’t let that be a sign of weakness, it only shows I still got feelings.
Being able to feel in a life as hard as this one is a blessing as well as a choice.
For I have chose to take my struggles and let them build me, instead of break me.

-Kbeautifulmind

Your job hasn’t started yet…

image

Late at night when all the world is sleeping, I stay up and think of you.

I can’t help and fall into a smile, as I think of how nice it would be to wake up tomorrow next to you.
I’d get to feel your skin oh so closely next to mine, and it would be so wonderful to wake up to those beautiful eyes.
I’d wake you up with kisses, with the desire to please you before you have to start your day.
With the sunrising outside our window I’d tell you “let me do the work, your job hasn’t started yet.”
You’d respond to me with pleasure and sounds of excitement in your throat, exploding through your erection, only concluding you to think about your morning for the rest of the day at work.

-Kbeautifulmind

My concept behind the value of relationships

When I was younger, I did not believe in 2nd chances.
The minute you crossed me or disrespected me…

1. I’d cut you off
2. You became the enemy
3. If you really pissed me off, I was probably trying to kick your ass. (I was crazy and lacked of maturity)

So many around me didn’t understand my concept, I even had someone once make fun and call me a “homie hopper.”

Then with time my concept changed a bit, if you are farely NEW in getting to know me I use the 3 strike rule…

Its simple…
3 strikes you’re out!

If you’re pass the 3 year mark, you don’t get 3 strikes, you go back to the first method ☝ (Don’t worry, I retired from fighting, I now have karma handle my light weight.)

Anyway till this day my concept doesnt make sense to a lot of people, I had a friend tonight ask me…

“Why? Why do you go about relationships this way?”
And well this was my answer.

image

If I let you into my life and allow you to know me, it’s a privilege.
God didn’t choose you for me, or else we’d share blood and I’d call you family.
Instead I call you friend or lover because God put you in my path, but I chose that you could stay.
Therefor I voluntarily decided to allow myself to trust you, open up to you, show you and share with you who I am, and let you in with out any boundaries.
I have let you see me naked(If you’re a lover emotionally and physically), inside and out.
If you’ve been around for years and our involvement has increased, so have my expectations and the value I give you.
If all of a sudden you decide to betray me, hurt me, cheat me, or lie to me.
Don’t expect forgiveness or for me to understand why you did it.
In my eyes and beliefs, there is no excuse and or reason good enough that you can give me that will make any sense.
Seeing that you know me so well by now and what I represent, yet you still didn’t care enough to consider my feelings, only shows me my worth and what I actually mean to you.

-Kbeautifulmind

-Kbeautifulmind

Getting lost in someone else…

You meet someone special who catches your eyes, you begin to commit as the days and months pass you by.
Your own mind begins to play games with your head, how can you possible count on him yet?
But you slowly give in…
You’re doing things you’ve never done before.
You’ve put so much time and effort with him, because it happened so naturally and seemed easy with him.
You see, it’s so easy to fall in the comfort of another’s arms because you’ve become vulnerable as you feel that connection of sparks.
So you give, and you give as you begin to get lost.
Then, the day comes along where something seems wrong.
You take a step back and begin to analyze…
The commitment your making is not bouncing back.
He says it’s due to the pain he once felt, yet he doesn’t seem to realize you’ve also been hurt once before.
You accept his excuses and cut him some slack, as you allow yourself to pour your heart out into his hands.
Trusting he’ll realize his feelings and get comfortable, as he sees your commitment and finds that you deserve so much more.
Only with time will you know what this is, yet you can’t help but wonder if time is what this needs.
Because you know your value and how special you are.
You know you deserve the very best, yet getting lost in someone else seems to feel better then locking your heart in a cage.

-Kbeautifulmind

This was inspired by a good friend of mine. Who trusted in me to share her thoughts at four in the morning because she believes I’m brave for sharing mine with the world.
Thanks amiga, love you!

The date of the fourth

I saved the date.
You said good bye, the night cold as ice, as I stood in the rain, with that sharp pain in my heart.
I could not understand, what had I done wrong, all the pain you had already caused, but I brushed it right off.
So why was it me?
The one paying for this, watching you go, I couldn’t breathe.
I couldn’t understand.
No, I just couldn’t see pass you leaving.
But I saved the date.
And it’s crazy how wonderful time can be.
I’m better than I should be,
I’m better than you left me, when you gave me that call.
I’m stronger than that girl, the one you pushed around, as you played games with her heart.
I’m better than I should be,
I’m better than you left me, you see baby…
I don’t think you’d even know me anymore.
I’m confident and satisfied, my heart has healed from the wounds of your departure.
Because I’m better than I should be,
I’m better than you left me, now that I realized you did me a favor.
Now I love deeper,
Laugh so much louder,
Feel so much happier because I saved the date of the fourth.

-Kbeautifulmind