“I’m surprised you don’t have a boyfriend yet?”

Why do dudes say shit like this?

It’s like saying you “NEED” a boyfriend, or there is something wrong with you because you don’t have a boyfriend.

I don’t NEED a boyfriend, as a matter of fact I don’t even WANT a boyfriend.

What can a boyfriend do for me that I can’t do for myself?

What I’d like someday is a partnership
I’d like a teammate…
Someone who has my back, who supports me, appreciates me, respects me, acknowledges me, and is going to be my partner in crime.
Someone who won’t run when life gets hard, who won’t give up on me, who will respect me even if I’m not present, and who will stick besides me hand in hand.
Someone who won’t try to run me, or make me feel uncomfortable in my own skin.
Someone who has his own persona and understands I have mine.
Someone who I can trust and believe in.
Someone who is my escape, where I feel better even when the rest of my world seems like it’s crashing down.

I want a real teammate, a best friend, a real guy who is truly down for me.

I don’t NEED or WANT a boyfriend…
I’m too old for that childish shit.
I’m not looking for someone to run, control, or have on some leash.
I want true monogomy and respect.
I want a partnership.

Nothing makes sense…


Nothing makes sense sometimes…
“Why do people enter our lives?”
Why do things happen to us?”
I use to sit there and I’ll admit I still do at times and tell god, or who ever is up there that can hear me…
“Have I not been through enough?
I mean we been getting it since I could remember life?
Don’t I get a break?
Is there no happy ending for me? For us?”

But then time gives us the answers we need, and helps us understand why exactly is it that some people don’t stay in your lives, why you went through the life struggles you have been through, why you were given such responsibilities, and even with time as much as you don’t want to accept it, the death of your mother begins to make sense.
It’s all a part of life.
So I keep going because I still believe in happy ever after, in meeting my goals, my dreams, having my own family someday, meeting the one who just knows he wants to love me and only me for the rest of his life as we watch our little stinkers live and BE wonderful from that love we share.
I still believe in people, in their hearts, in their pain, and most of all I still believe in myself.
After everything, I believe in ME, and I know my time is coming, the day I can look up and say…
“This is it! Everything I deserve is right here!”

Remember guys, even when it doesn’t make sense, someday it will!!!