Hello Dear WordPress Followers,
I’d to take this moment to thank you all for reading my work, for being fans of what I write and believe in since I created my blog.
I’d also like to address that I’m working on writing more this year, expanding my words to touch more lives, and to share that I have some new and fun exciting project ideas on the way!
I’ve decided to create a “Professional Instagram” page, were I’d like to expose my poetry, quotes, short stories, advise through my knowledge, and display my soon to come videos or audio recordings!
I hope you all will follow and join me in this exciting journey!
Instagram: Kbeautifulmind__ (those are two _ _ )
Thanks y’all! I’m excited!
Hoy día de las madres abraza a tu mami y dile cuanto la quieres. Si ya no está contigo, recuerda los buenos momentos y aprecia todo lo que hizo por ti.
Si no fue la madre que tú deseabas, perdónala, reza por ella, y encuentra la paz que necesitas.
Recuerda que la vida es polvo puede esparcirse en un momento; lo único que te llevarás son las memorias y lo que había dentro.
Así es que, como si fuera tu ultimo día; ama sinceramente, perdona a los que te han lastimado, aprecia a los que siguen a tu lado, y vive en la vida mostrando le a todos cuento los quieres.
No dejes que se te escapen los detalles, recuerda que nadie es eterno en este mundo.
November is Lung Cancer Awarness month.
No, it’s not pink or sexy. It doesn’t involve boobs or football players, cute t-shirts or catch phrases, and definetly doesn’t sell millions of dollars of merchandise with it’s propaganda.
It’s about being grateful that you or your loved ones can breathe with out a struggle.
It’s about knowing you don’t need to go to chemotherapy once a week, followed my radiation on the same week knowing that this “might” only prolong your life by a couple of months.
It’s about not having to live like you are dying, for a lung cancer victim knows there is nothing that can kill this disease in their body.
It’s about being thankful that you can do almost ANYTHING you want because you don’t have to take things slow since just a couple of steps don’t make you short of breath.
It’s about being able to enhale and exhale without feeling all this liquid in your lungs choking you up.
It’s about appreciating the fact that you can sleep peacefully without fearing that you might not wake up the next morning.
It’s about being grateful that you do not have the number one killing cancer with in women and men today.
It’s about knowing that you are not a victim of this killer disease with only a 40% chance of living up to four years after being diagnosed.
It’s about being aware of how serious this disease is in our society today.
November is Lung Cancer Awarness Month.
In loving Memory of…
Maricela Arellano Lopez
I miss you momma,
I seriously can say I LOVE LOVE LOVE school this semester, it’s alot of work and all but I really enjoy the classes I have selected to attend. One of my classes has made my feminine side get stronger and has encourage me to continue to follow my dreams with my same goals to make a difference in this world.
These past couple of day’s we been learning about love and abuse. Not just from relationships but abuse from people, normal human beings that mistreat one another in our society. Human beings who teach their children to be homosexual haters, who teach them about sexisum, envy, and verbal and physical brutality.
I believe that some of this isn’t even done intentionally it’s just that some people don’t realize how important it is to change your bad habits and try to be the best role model you can be once you have brought a child into this world.
This one is for the parents of this world…
Please be good to your children, weather you did it the right way and got your life together before them or even if they were unplanned and you need to get it together with them here by your side. Remember that they are the future that could only get better then the times you have lived in, IF you role model for them appropriately. Teach them to love, to respect EVERYONE, and to judge no one, for they are no one to judge or hate others for who they are, who they like or the color of their skin. You want to always rememeber that once you have had children you need to be the very best person you can be, because once they are old enough they have a chance of mirroring you and following your every move. If you dissapoint them they have a high chance of becoming dissapointments.
This one is for the parents of today’s society…
Because the problem isn’t single mothers or young parents it’s the fact that children, not mentally fully developed adults are having children of their own.
The problem is mom’s twerking on line for attention to make some kind of point not seeing that all they are doing is announcing to the world that they have no self respect, showing their children that self respect is not important.
The problem is the parents smoking weed, doing drugs and publisizing it for the world to see on the web. You like your kush? Thats fine I’m pretty sure that 60 percent of California’s community that smoke weed are not all stupid rebellious teens. However why does the whole world have to know? Is it because you think you look cute smoking into the camara? What happens when your child is old enough to know what you are doing in that picture and when he/she tries to do it says “Mommy/Daddy I just wanted to be just like you?”
The problem is not the media, the society, or the life we have lived the problem is that these parents are not allowing themselves to be mentally developed to see the importance and responsibility that comes with having a child because they too are acting like children themselves.
So your young and have a child already, so what??? No one is asking you to hide from the world now and not have a drink once in a while or smoke a blunt or shake your tail feather to the beat of a song but don’t use your youth as an excuse on why your priorities are all mixed up.
The problem is that you NEED to grow up and be responsible for the love you have grown for that child, make them proud because if you don’t do it then who will?
You brought them to this world, therefor their future is partly your responsibility. Think about it? How will you like to see them years from now?
Even a better question…How will you like them to see you?
Everytime you do something ask yourself, would I be okay with MY child doing this? And if your answer is ever “No” then maybe it’s time to start making better choices.
Concerned for the future,
In only a couple of days it will be 5 months since my mom has passed. I miss her like crazy everyday and every minute. I wish I could still come home and see her face and hear her voice but I can’t.
I was hoping that since she’d passed I’d be able to avoid hospitals for a while. However I’ve been to three different one’s since. Methodist our near home hospital which I am already familiar with because my mom spend 2 years in and out of there. Huntington Hospital in Pasadena where my sister ended up after being hit by a car (yes unfortunately the bitch is still running loose, I don’t know what is taking so long). Then there is also The children’s hospital of Los Angeles where I now know my way around because my brother has been here since Sunday. If any of you readers care, we are ALL OKAY no need to worry.
I still wish we had never made it to these places anyway. Everything about hospitals creeps me out now. The hallways, elivators, the beds, and the cold feeling you get no matter the temperature outside (102° by the way) and of course that sad feeling you get that you are not here for your mom anymore. It sounds crazy but it’s almost like my body and heart get this hope that they might see her again for a couple of minutes until my mind has to calm it down and say “sorry but she will not be here”.
What really brought me back to reality was when I was filling out the forms for my brothers admittion into the hospital and the man asked me “Are you a single mother or are you married?”
I answered with confusion on my face…
“Ummm, I am his sister”
and he said to me…
“Well of course, but the mother is deceased now and you are his guardian so are you a single mother or are you married?”
And with an empty feeling in my heart I answered “I am a single mother”
I walked out of there almost devistated. Not because I was raising my siblings or anything but because I never thought of it that way, until him. I was now something I never wanted to be. I was now a “Single Mother”. I knew it wasn’t by choice but I began to sort of freak out thinking of all I struggled along side of my single mother and wondered what would happen if I’d also fall in the future causing my siblings to struggle too?
I never could had imagined my life like this, I had a plan and it was destroyed and re written for me. And even though it saddened me and stressed me a lot I told myself as I walked back into my brothers hospital room, “You are a single mother now! Who was raised by one of the warriors of single mothers… You can do this!”
I went from negative to positive in only seconds but my brain was again smacking me out of it saying…
“You got this!”
Feeling positive and trying to stay strong;
Today is my last day of summer vacation. I guess you can say it’s not exactly the summer vacation my little brothers get or the kind I use to get back when I was in grade school. The cat naps, waking up when you wanted, going to bed as late as you wanted (I can’t even count how many all nighters my little brother Kevin pulled playing video games) eating what you wanted and doing what you wanted for about 2-3 months. I’ve been working since high school and I’ve juggled two jobs now since 2008. Time just flies by way to fast sometimes. Without even realizing it minutes, hours, and days are just passing. When you’re so caught up on your career and your future, things just keep moving on.
We’ve been fortunate enough to keep ourselves busy- I say fortunate because we’re trying our best to block out and not paying attention to the tough times we are currently living. It’s now been four months since my momma left this life. Being busy makes the toughest times seem not so bad. This summer I can honestly say I did alot; 4 concerts one more to come, 6 Dodger games, a couple visits to Six Flags (I am a pass holder), at least 6 nights out dancing, out door movie nights, small gatherings, dinner dates, game nights, 1 dinner party/kick back hosted by me, a trip to Texas and a couple other outings including my birthday celebrations! But some how I always manage to go back to that day she left us and it breaks my heart everytime.
They say time heels all, and it’s only been four months but I don’t think anything will ever feel the same again.
Because everything reminds me of her and this emptiness I feel could never be filled.
However I was thinking to myself the other night as I laid in bed (missing her of course since we spend the last 2 years sleeping together because I was afraid she would choke) and I thought to myself how can I move forward?
I thought of the fact that my brothers have been so disrespectful the whole “You are not our mom” phase has kicked in and I am so stressed out at times. I thought about how in only a couple of days (starting tomorrow) I’ll be juggling school, 2 jobs and 2 teenagers…. and I wanted to run away in that moment! Then the thinking happened and I started to tell myself…
“Her death can’t make you give up! How will you represent her? Honor her? Make her proud?”
Although alot of people have told me I am doing a good job already, in that moment I decided I need to do more, I need to try and be positive and I need to raise her children right….
I need to be the Super Women she was.
So with that in mind I know that as of today there is 230 days left to this year. I’m going to try and be positive everyday, live life, find peace and represent my mother as the fighter and Super Women she ro modeld for 46 years. I’m going to focus on making myself be happy again, be healthier, and feel over all better because I know that’s what she would want! (Because she told me this in a letter)
So what are you going to do?
We are all living different life circumstances but I want to advise you all to make the 230 days count! Keep pushing yourself, keep yourself busy, and keep your head high as you welcome positivity in to your life. Good things will come out of it all, guaranteed.
Remembering that no storm is forever;
Happy Birthday up in Heaven
from your children here on earth.
We love you and We miss you,
and want to let you know…
Your birthdays aren’t forgotten.
and your memory yet lives on.
We your children will celebrate your life with us even though you’ve gone.
If God were to grant us just one wish,
then make that wish come true,
you’d be here right beside us
and we’d spend this special day with you.
And while here for your birthday
you would be so hugged and kissed
that you would know before you go
how much you’re loved and missed.
We hope that you enjoy yourself and are smiling from up above. And that you have a big ol’ cake with lots of strawberries on top.
We hope that you are proud very happy and stress free, that you are looking at us and are delighted with what you see.
Happy 47th Birthday Mommy we love you and miss you so darn much.
Wishing you were here;
“With a new day comes new strength”
If Roses grow in Heaven
Lord, please pick a bunch for me.
Place them in my Mother’s arms
and tell her they’re from me.
Tell her that I love her and miss her,
and when she turns to smile,
place a kiss upon her cheek
and hold her for awhile.
Because remembering her is easy,
I do it every day,
but there’s an ache within my heart
that will never go away.
Happy Mother’s day Mommy, I love you and miss you very much♡
Life with out you sucks and I still can’t seem to accept it. I’m trying to be strong like you asked me to, I really am trying my very best.
But the truth it’s really hard.
I miss you dearly.
I cry in the car, at work and before I go to bed and sometimes even in my sleep. I know I shouldn’t be crying because I am probably making you sad but I just can’t help it. I wish you were still here, I wish god had seen that I still need you.
They say you are no longer in pain and that makes me happy but my question is what was god thinking giving you that pain in the first place?
They say you are here in spirit but I want you here in person.
I’m sorry I am not as strong as you said I’d be, till we meet again♡
R.I.P Best Friend, te quiero muchisimo!
July 12th, 1967 – April 22nd, 2014
Your Best Friend,
“A mother is she who can take the place of all others,but whose place no one else can take.”
A year ago today, I wrote a blog in dedication to my mommy on Mother’s Day. I’d stated how wonderful she was and how thanks to her someday I’d be a great mom. Today is Mother’s Day and unfortunately my mommy is no longer with us.
A lot of Friend’s and Family that knew the strenght of my bond with my mom and how much she means to me, have been contacting me telling me to pretty much “Hang in there” and I am trying…
I’m doing okay because I am at work but once business slows down I feel my eyes tearing up. I really miss her…
One of my friend’s text me this morning saying, “Happy Mother’s Day Kelsey… you adopted two boy’s and a girl, enjoy the day today. I know your mom wouldn’t want it any other way!”
As I started my day I let that text sink in. I began to think about my post I wrote last year. I almost felt weird because this was not the first mother’s day I pictured…
I pictured my first Mother’s Day somewhere down the future with a husband and a fairly new born baby boy/girl in my arms. Never did I think it would be along side with two boy’s of age 11 and 15 and a 20 year old young lady that has a 8 month old baby of her own!
Sadly my friend was right, I now have to take on the responsibility of being like a mother to these stinkers because I am all they have and well we all only have each other!
In my blog last year I said…
“My mother is AMAZING, and I know when the day comes for me to be a mother I’m going to be a great one…”
Even though I still do not have any children of my own and I have only been watching over my siblings for twenty days now, I am hoping to make my mommy very proud as I now must keep all my promises and take over for her and be a mother to her children.
Happy Mother’s day in Heaven Mommy!
Missing you like crazy;