Tag: man

Stop walking in darkness

I have always known I was very fortune to have been raised by a woman like my mom.
I know most of us love our mom’s or dad’s and in our eyes they are the best parents anyone could ever ask for.
But I don’t like to sit here and just state I had the best mom in the world.
I can honestly say that God gave me the best mom in the world for ME.
You see my mom was truly a warrior. Her way of thinking and living life is something that not only has made a positive difference in my life but has also maid a positive difference in the life of others.
She was the kind of person that told it like it is but not to be some “rude” person who says
“That looks ugly on you” just because she dislikes you or has envy for you.
She didn’t speak ignorance, she always kept the other persons feelings in mind and did what she could to truly help them.
She spoke from the heart, she always wanted what was best for those around her and was definitely the perfect friend to have who believed in you despite what you had done or didn’t do.
She lived life with such a positive mind set that she has inspired me and many of those who were lucky enough to be a part of her life to do the same.

I can truly sit here and say I (Kelsey) got super lucky to have been fortunate to be the daughter of that woman because who I am is truly something I couldn’t have been with out her by my side.

From her I have learned to love and see the good in everyone.
To help other’s even if they don’t appreciate it.
To believe in myself no matter what.
But most of all…
She taught me the true meaning of life, something that some people take years to figure out or that unfortunately never figure it out.

Over the past couple of years I wasn’t technically myself anymore. I became very bitter and negative twords life and the plans of God. I’d victimized myself and with negativity I’d ask the same questions over and over again…
“Why me?
What did I do to deserve this?”
I was truly lost and for a while really believed god was being unfair.
Now that my mom is gone and I have still been through a couple of hard times in this life, I am proud to say I am finding myself again. I have decided to stop walking in the darkness and even though she isn’t physically here, I KNOW she is walking me through it.

I have reviewed my life and have decided to focus on what matters.
I now have rediscovered what I have always known.
I know my value, I know my worth and I see my fortunes.
I now wake up happier, and so gratful to be breathing, to be healthy and with the motivation to keep pushing to only get healthier and become happier.

Therefore I write this personal post to give you all some adivse just like my mom would have told anyone in need of it.

The secret to this thing we call life is to find it in yourself to see the good in everything. What you “think” may be something tragic is truly just what you need for your life to progress and become something even better.
What may seem like a bad day, is just a little bump on the road to prepare you for the good to come. Remember that you must stop walking in darkness if you desire to walk in the light. Be gratful and stay humble, appreciate what you have and strive for better because it’s what you need not just what you want. Do what you love and walk in your path of life with your dreams and happiness in mind. See the good in all of your hard times, and get what you can out of them as you use it all to better yourself and your life.

Wishing everyone a wonderful weekend,
-Kbeautifulmind

“I don’t know how you do it?”
 “How can you be okay after all you’ve been through?”

I do it because no one else is going to do it for me. Because if I desire happiness, if I desire peace in my heart and love I have to find it with in myself.

I’m okay because I have accepted life for what it is. Because I see the beauty in life and I’m grateful for being a live and for the chance god has gave me to breathe again. I’m okay simply because I still have the ability to dream, desire, want and feel.

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger and you can’t truly breathe love and happiness with out inhaling hurt and disappointment along with a little bit of chaos.

-kbeautifulmind

Beautifully unexpected

It was a night of passion,
a night of lust,
something so unexpected,
but they both just couldn’t withdraw.
Neither had done this before, and they knew there wasn’t much to it, but what mattered was that night because in that moment they both had it all.
He had someone to hold to help him forget about his loneliness.
She had someone to kiss that helped keep her mind off the brokenness.
His taste was magnificent it made her want more.
She looked so dam sexy, he felt himself loosing control.
The fire in their bodies, burned more violently then the pain they both felt underneath.
As they were wrapped in each other skin touching skin, they didn’t stop until they were drained, even though they both knew exactly how it would all end.
They took a dive with out hesitation for the desire they both had, giving themselves no limitations.
It happened so beautifully and so unexpectedly, keeping them both hungry with no desire to see the end of it.
They both saw the damage through the exhilarating of the fall, but on that night they both knew it was worth it and they would have taken the jump a thousand more times for it all.
Because it was a night of passion, a night of lust,
something so beautifully unexpected that they both had wanted for such a long time.

-Kbeautifulmind

Grudge

It had been a couple of years since he last saw her.
He remembers being mad at her, because she broke him, she gave up on them after she had promised she never would.
Some how that smile still made him nervous.
It had been a couple of years since she last saw him.
She remembers he was angry, how could he say such mean things to someone he claimed to love so much?
She knows she was wrong, she freaked out and gave up, but she couldn’t take it back because he was moved on.
Yet he looked so beautiful, and she knew she’d always miss him.

Years later there they were…

It was like the world stopped in it’s tracks and no one else existed…
There he was and there she was only the window of the car, a grudge he still held, the pain that still stung in her heart and the street in between them.

But some how it was a beautiful encounter, because it showed in their faces, their eyes, and both of their expressions that after all these years something was still felt.

-kbeautifulmind

I learned that it would never be the same…

As they told me you were there, in the same place we were in, I was shocked by how calm I felt with no desire to throw up and run free.
I thought that when this day would come, I’d freak out and not know what to do, but as I looked into your eyes I no longer saw what I use to.
The dreams that I desired, the love I reserved for you, all of it was gone there was just nothing there for you.
I didn’t feel like crying, there was no knots in my throat, my heart didn’t feel heavy you’d think all this hurt was super old.
My anger towards you was gone and my disappointment seemed so far, there was no spark or love, I looked once more but in confusion I realized there was nothing there to find.
I tried to remember the way you kissed but my body and mind would not react as they once did.
It seemed as if my mouth and mind were wipped clean of all the memories.
I couldn’t remember your laugh or what it was that attracted me to you, I guess all I really felt was disgust to think that I once belonged to you.
When you approched me with a hug I thought I’d feel something for sure but it was almost like I went numb and the touch of your arm was as dry as the crackers on the counter next to you.
I walked away in shock that you’d even bother to approch me in that way, but I couldn’t help but smirk at the pleasure of feeling nothing that I felt before that day.
It that moment I took a deep breath, feeling relived as I said “I forgave him, this is really it”
I learned then as I sat there with my friend, that today I had really learned something…
I learned the wonderful feeling that it would never be the same.

-Kbeautifulmind

The truth is…

I owe it to you to explain myself, but the truth is that there is nothing left to say.
I know I’ve been a coward and that I went about all of this the wrong way.
I swear to everyone that you’re at fault with hope that it will stop the tears at night.
But we all know that no one believes me for they see me on my street with her lips on mine.
I swear to you I am a good person and that I don’t care what you or anyone thinks but I feel the guilt inside me as I state that and repeat.
The truth is that I know I been wrong, and I know it’s something you don’t deserve, but sadly I am to weak to admit that comfortably to you.
I cover up my actions with one lie after the other as I tell myself to tell the truth but the words just won’t unravel.
The truth is that I owe it to you to explain what I have done but she doesn’t set me free and I know that you are gone.
I know that you are done for good and this is sadly it, I know you’ve close this chapter and that you won’t let me in.
The truth is that I’m scared and sitting in my lies is the only current thing that makes me feel great.
The truth is that I’m broken because I know that because of me nothing will ever be the same.

-Kbeautifulmind