“Para que funcionen y crezcan las cosas en cual quiera situación, tienen que empezar bien des de raíce como los árboles.”
-Kbeautifulmind
“In orden for things to grow and work out correctly in any situation, they have to start off well and firm from the root like a Tree.”
-Kbeautifulmind
Everything in this life takes sacrifice.
The key to succeeding as an adult, is in what we give up.
Sleep, friends, fun, sometimes even love…
just to keep promises we made, to follow our dreams, and to take care of business.
We sacrifice it all for that one moment, when you finally accomplish your goals, keep your promises, and are working in the field you love.
Everything in this life takes sacrifice, and those sacrifices are for the most part always worth your while.
-Kbeautifulmind
(Photo by photographer friend: Instagram: @itsonwithjon)
As I think about my graduation slowly creeping up…
A part of me is excited and I can’t wait, and the other part of me is sad and just wants to get it over with.
To be honest, I’ve been super sad.
I wish my madresita linda could be there for me.
I know, I know… “She’ll be there in spirit!” “She gets the best view!” “She’ll be celebrating from up above!”
As you can see, I’ve heard them all, and I know these are all very true…
But, she won’t be there in physical form.
I can’t actually celebrate with her.
I can’t hug her, kiss her, squeeze her, scream with her, laugh with her, or even take a picture with her.
I can’t hear her saying, “I am so proud of you!”
I can’t, and knowing that just makes me miss her and want her there even more.
This special moment in my life and many others to come will just have to be “sad and happy.”
No matter how much time passes, they will always be bitter sweet.
During this entire emotional roller coaster I’ve been going through since April, one emotion I been sure about since day one is my “pride.”
I am so f&*%en proud!
I am proud that I am finally finishing. I am proud that I am receiving one of three degrees I need to follow my ultimate dream.
I am proud that I over came so much.
I am proud that I did it!
I did it, even after life kicking me to the grown on my ass, I did it.
After heartbreaks, illnesses, tears, cancer, death, grieving, family drama, stress, loss of sleep, hard work, more stress, and at times thinking I couldn’t…
I did it!
and even made honor role, yup you guys read right.
While running a household and dealing with so much more than I could handle sometimes… I made the honor role at, California State University of Dominguez Hills.
How can someone not be proud of these accomplishments?
However, being proud of myself is only a portion of it.
I am proud of my mother.
Mi madresita linda, que tanto lucho y se esfuerzo.
La que llego de indocumentada.
La que lucho, fue fuerte, y nunca se rajo.
and like she said…
“Sufri, pase hambres, y humillaciones. Llore, y asta me quise regresar por que estaba de arrimada. Pero aqui me quede. Y la vida me fregaba, pero yo segui adelante.”
“Asi es que, recuerden me con honor, y pongan se las pilas! Siempre hagan el esfuerzo de seguir adelante. No dejen que nada ni nadien se les ponga en el camino.”
Therefore, she is who I am most proud of.
(Photo by photographer friend: Instagram: @itsonwithjon)
I am proud of her and honored to have been the daughter of an immigrant guerrera (warrior)!
Anticipating my graduation,
Kbeautfiulmind
I have a bucket list. A list with things I’d like to do and accomplish before I die. I’ve had this list since I was young and it’s slowly build up to a longer list as I have gotten older. One of the things on my list was to make a difference in a strangers life whom I’ve barely know. Today I can finally check that off my list. After my moms death I’ve received nothing but positive words from all my friends, family, and loved ones. They have seen me struggle, they have seen me cry, they have seen me laugh, and even scream. Therefore they constantly tell me how admiring my strength is and their words continue to be a blessing in my life when times get rough. However, they know me therefore it’s a little bit normal coming from them.
Today I received a letter as I was leaving class this morning. This random girl came up to me and told me ” Hey! I know we don’t really know each other but, I know your mom’s anniversary just passed and I wanted to give you and your family a little something. There is a letter in the envelope and it explains it all.” I was definitely caught off guard, and I knew the class knew about my mother’s anniversary because the class is about “death and dying,” so my professor had asked me a while back ago to share my story with them. But when I open this letter, I was left speechless with what I was reading!
The girl stated in the letter that she had been in my class two years ago when my mother passed away. She overheard me telling the professor what had happened and why I had missed class. She said she went home that night crying, she hugged her mother and told her how much she loved her and appreciated her. Since then she stated that throughout my two years at CSUDH I have been her motivation and inspiration. She told me she appreciated me, and in her words “You have changed my life.” There is so much more to the letter, but the point is I’ve accomplished something so beautiful.
I’ve always had a passion for loving and helping others, I truly believe this is my purpose in this world.
I love the field I’m studying, and I can’t wait to get out there and continue to do what I did for this random stranger.
This letter left me with many emotions, it brought me to tears as I thought of my mom and all that has happened. But, it also brought a smile amongst my face as I realized what a difference I have made in the life of a total stranger without even realizing it.
I truly believe that this is what life is about! These are the moments that make the bad times in life easier to deal with. This is what we are here for, to leave our mark and be remembered for the wonderful things that we did… Not just accomplished ourselves but also what we did for others.
This is why I WRITE.
This is why I let go of my privacy and share my life stories and thoughts, with so many people and total strangers.
This is it, I believe that this is what I am here for. 🙌🏻😊
-Kbeautifulmind
Hay que ser fuerte, pero a la misma ves siempre hay que ser buena, amable, humilde, y amorosa.
Pero eso sí, nunca aseptar en recibir mierda de nadie.
– Maricela López
(My mother)
I don’t know if we are here to be happy,
But what I do know…
Is that we are here to live.
-Kbeautifulmind
Please
If I go while you’re still here…
Please know that I live on,
Do not stand by my grave and weep,
Please do not wish it was you instead of me.
You will not see me, but you must have faith.
Celebrate my life, smile for I am in a better place.
I’ve now joined all those who went before me,
Please remember that and find peace.
Laugh with each other as you remember all the good times,
for there were so many good and bad moments we were blessed to live together.
Send me away with lots of love,
I want you all to be happy,
Please remember that we will someday reunite.
And when you need me until then,
Please just whisper my name in your heart,
… I will be there…
Until we meet again.
-Kbeautifulmind
This poem was written for my “Fake” Funeral program I had to make for a class project. However I love it and had to share so that my family can have it incase someday I really go.
Sometimes, the kindest gesture you can offer others is holding your tongue for the sake of their happiness.
-Kbeautifulmind
The future lies in the inevitable moments.
-Kbeautifulmind
There will be times when even though you have build up this strength…
You will feel weak.
Times, when you won’t understand the universe and it’s plan.
Times, when you will question your value and worth.
Those times will pass.
They must pass.
You must choose to believe in yourself again.
You must choose to remember you’re worthy.
Worthy of love, worthy of affection, worthy of attention, worthy of acceptance, worthy of being chosen, and worthy of second chances.
There will be times like these, plenty of them…
Those times will pass.
-Kbeautifulmind
Kbeautifulmind 