Tag: Life

Trust her/him

The reason you are always trying to see five steps ahead is because you are afraid to be hurt…

Those other women/men have hurt you…

so you’re always looking ahead trying to protect yourself.

Stop, please.

There is no protection needed here, there is no looking ahead, they are not “too good to be true.”

You are going to have to trust her/him.

She/he will not hurt you.

repeat after me…

“She/he will not hurt me.”

-Kbeautifulmind

The story behind my concert binging…

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On a night where my mom and I were both sooo tired but couldn’t sleep…
She stated…

Mom: “What a long day huh? Radiation, chemo, blood tests, and two doctor appointments…

Me:” Yeah…” (I couldn’t sit there and say I was exhausted, when she was the one going through it. I just went with her… but she was right, I was tired too.)

Mom: “I can’t believe I’m really dying… all the things I didn’t get to do… vale madre…”

We had just found out my mom’s cancer was moving rapidly and it had now taken over half of her spine, and most of her hip…
She had been in some serious pain!!!

With tears in my eyes but trying to hold them in I said…

Me: “What would you have done more of mom?”

Mom: “Pues empezando… viajar mas… pero también… eir a muchos conciertos (I would have gone to a lot of concerts) no hay mejor médicina que la música!(there is no better medicine like music)

y en vivo? Uuuyyy, olvidalo! (And live music!? Ffeeewww, forget it! It’s amazing!)

I couldn’t help but smile because my mom new that I LOVE music, and to dance.
Even though I knew she loved music too, she was more quite and reserved so the image of her at a concert made me smile because she had always been more of a home body.

Me: “Well, I wanted to make it before you left us someday. But I promise you, that I will travel for you and you won’t have to ask me twice to go to a concert.”

Mom: “Eres bien alegre… (you are always so happy) You got that from me, because your dad was always an “amargado” but before I “worked to die” I was JUST like you!

Since my mom has passed I been to over 10 concerts…
No money to travel much yet but I’ve been on a plane 3 times…

A year and a half later… and for the rest of my life…
not only am I living for ME but I’m living for her…

-Kbeautifulmind

Life changes, you get it all lined up just the way you like it, just the way you know you deserve it, and then something beyond your control comes along and bumps you off center…
So what do you do?
How do you face it?

You see the problem.
Now what?
Thats only half the battle.

You have to find a solution, to make the right choice is to figure out the key that will bring you peace.
You must attempt to be happy, to be loved, to be whole.
Without drama, without suppressing yourself and your feelings, and without hurting anyone..
including yourself.
-Kbeautifulmind

I want to thank you

I want to thank you.

I want to thank you for all the simple things.

The laughs, the comfort, the peace.

I want to thank you.

I want to thank you because with you I felt myself again.

With you I learned to smile again, to really laugh, to relax, and really breathe.

You see before you life and people destroyed me.

These things that happened to me stripped me, they demolished who I was, what I believed in…

and you, this stranger came into my life and helped me in so many ways that you have no idea of.

I want to thank you, because a part of my healing, self love, and happiness is all thanks to you.

-Kbeautifulmind

Everyday I spent by your side is meaningful.
Your smile warms up my day.
Your embrace makes me feel complete.
You bring a peace to my heart I can’t explain.
With you I feel a comfort I never felt.
Everyday I spent by your side is meaningful, something I never want replaced.
-Kbeautifulmind