Tag: hurt

“You’re a dimond in the rough.”

“You’re my Dimond in the rough.”

Was the lie that rolled out of his tongue;

as he promised her forever, days before he left her.

“You’re my Dimond in the rough.”

Were the words that ran in her head, as she cried after she discovered the truth only days later.

There he was, the man she had helped built, and never gave up on.
The man she forgave, over and over again many times before…
The man she fought for, for so long.
There he was…
In a picture with another one of his little flings, the one that was worth walking away with.
The other woman who had no respect, and decided to post a picture of them after only a couple of days.
Like breaking someone’s heart wasn’t enough pain, so they had to humiliate her and laugh in her face.

“You’re a dimond in the rough,” she says out loud now that so much time has passed.

“You’re a dimond in the rough,” she says smiling and giggling as she sees how happy she is now.
Now, that she has discovered that she is indeed a dimond…

except this time she’s free from the rough, never to have to live through such nightmare again.

-Kbeautifulmind

…and it’s just not fair.

I still miss you, and it’s not fair.
I have men asking me out, blowing up my phone, dms, even trying to make me fall…
yet your face always comes to mind.
I’ve loved people more then I’ve even liked you, yet I don’t miss them.
Before you, I had lost hope.
I had shut down.
I was in the dark.
You had turned on the light for me.
You made me feel like I was hole again.
With you…
I felt alive.
I felt free.
I felt worthy.
I felt comfortable to be me.
I felt like you understood me.
I still miss you, and it’s just not fair.
-Kbeautifulmind

Keep going.
The pain will pass.

I know it’s hard…
I know the tunnel seems long…
I know the tunnel is dark…
I know the tunnel makes you feel frightened…
I know it feels like you will never get to the other end…
I know it seems like the light is too far away…

But, keep going.
The pain will pass.
-Kbeautifulmind
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One of the hardest things on this earth for me, is seeing people suffer.
I want to help EVERYONE.
I want to help all of those I love that are in pain.
I want to help strangers, when I come across them and see that they are in pain.
Shoot… I want to help the people I see on “TV” that are in pain.
But, I know that I can’t help everyone.
I can’t heel everyone.
But maybe, just maybe…
My words will encourage as many people as possible.
Hang in there ya’ll.
Whatever it is, even if it doesn’t seem like it…
It WILL pass.
As long as you don’t give up!

A question from a reader…

Tonight I received another “critic”

One of my readers asked me…

“Why are you so bitter about your last relationship?

I understand cheating is wrong, but do you ever think that maybe he just didn’t love you anymore?”

I don’t want to sound mean but, you really need to move on and let him be happy!”

Now I wasn’t going to respond to this, because obviously my “reader” is not a big fan of my writing…

But, eh why not?

So…

I’d like to start by defending myself a little and state that I have moved on.

I am very proud to say that I have taken it into my own hands and forgave him for all of the pain he caused me.

To tell you the truth, I’ve never been happier. Honest to god!

However, I understand why my post about infidelity make me seem “bitter.”

So let me address it for you.

I am not bitter, and the pain I had felt was not because, he no longer “loves” me.

Also in my defense, I have never done anything to bother him, or hold him back from his happiness.

When I think of a cheater, I think of a student glancing at her/his notes under the desk very quickly because she can’t seem to remember the term she studied about for hours!

I think of a card player winning a game of Black Jack only because he counted the cards.

You see, this action that ruins relationships between two people who have promised a commitment to each other isn’t “cheating.”

This action is more like…

Lying, betrayal, disrespect, abuse, broken, murder, selfishness, and of course weakness.

So, my dear reader…

The pain I or ANYONE has felt after being “Cheated” on isn’t a reaction of “not wanting to move on” OR not accepting that maybe he “just didn’t love me anymore.”

If I am being honest, I think I’ll never know if he actually loved me.

I know he loved the idea of me?

I just don’t believe you can intentionally hurt someone when you love them.

You don’t kill the persons trust for you when you love someone.

When you truly LOVE, you don’t intentionally hurt the person in the same way more than once.

As I was saying…

Cheating is so painful because it makes the one being cheated on feel like they were at fault.

You see…

You fall in love with someone who could never and has never loved you back.

You make excuses, you defend, and you protect this person.

You FIGHT with all your might to try to convince not only those around you but, YOURSELF that he/she is better than how they are representing themselves.

You fight for the good you see in them, until the ugly over powers you and smacks you down on your ass.

Then…

You feel like an idiot.

You feel stupid, low, ashamed, and embarrassed.

You begin to regret all the chances you gave them, and start asking yourself… ‘What were you thinking?”

You are left there to pick up the pieces up on your own.

It ends up being all on you to accept the apology you might never receive, to forgive someone who doesn’t need your forgiveness, and to forget.

Now, I don’t mean forget as in forget about the person… because once you’ve seen how bad they are for you, that is not so hard.

But, forget as in forget all the fight you gave, only to lose.

I never thought of myself as a woman who makes bad choices…

So, when I was left alone to accept that this time around I had…

I guess it tends to make you a bit “bitter” so you say.

So to answer your question…

“I am not “bitter” about getting “cheated” on, I am disappointed I fought for something that wasn’t worth fighting for and that is what my posts are about.

-Kbeautfiulmind

I still laugh…

I still laugh at the day it happened.

So much cowardly in one phone call.

Promising me that with time we would meet again, that someday our love would continue.

I rememeber laughing that day as you stated your pathetic promise of “we will meet again,” as you used it to justify your decision to throw it all away.

What you didn’t rememeber is what kind of woman you had been with, what kind of woman you had known for over so many years…

I already knew you and what you were capable of.
I knew everything you did to the girl before me,
and I knew what you had done to me.
I already knew about her.
I knew I was being replaced.

Yet I played along and said,
“Yeah, maybe we will. The world is round for a reason right?”

I still laugh at the day it happened, because even though I listened…
I was praying our paths would never cross again.

-Kbeautifulmind

*Old piece I never posted:)

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To be able to write about the pain, is more than others can do.

Most people can’t ever speak of it, or face it again.

They lose touch, or emotion towards what happened.

They grow silent, bitter, angry…

and no one can seem to understand why?

They bury it.

To write of the pain, and speak of the hate you feel…

It’s brave…

and a *privilege not many are blessed with.

-Kbeautifulmind

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I’ve always lived a pretty hard life.
Finacially things have never been at their best, and over all god has truly picked on me to carry-on a B I G load of stress.
So yes I’m the person that constantly thinks…
“MY life would be so much easier if I had more money.”

“MONEY could really get rid of all this stress right now?”

“Do you know how happy I’d be if I had a lot of money?”

And to tell you all the truth.
Money really truly could fix A L O T of my problems right now…

But money could never give me happiness.

That is something I have needed to find on my own, with in myself, with in my struggles, and the life god has gave me.

Money doesn’t buy happiness.
Fame doesn’t make you any less human.
It might make “society” a little easier.
It might make the standards we have to live up to a little less stressful.
But LIFE in it’s self, to truly L I V E has nothing to do with “everything” you have.
You can only enjoy life and survive life with soul food, inner peace, self love, comfort, and support from the rest of the humans in your life and the love of all humanity in it’s self.
Today, tomorrow and always we should smile at people… a simple hello, I love you, or asking how their day is going can save their life.
A simple ear to listen can make them keep pushing.
A simple hug can remind them that they are not alone.
Live like you are dying and love like you are dying because you never know what kind of demons others are fighting on the inside.
You never know what kind of emotional or physical sicknesses those around you are struggling to fight.
Over use I love you and count your blessing!
Remember, life is a gift and health is a privilege. †
-Kbeautifulmind

You must live fully and love with all your heart, despite how hard it may be at times.
That’s how you live, that’s how you look back at an old age or the moment before death and realized you lived.
People who are inspired, who push them selves to really feel, to really feel, because they want to be a part of something larger…
those are the ones who live, who really live.
-Kbeautifulmind