Antepasados/Ancestors

Yo soy la lumbre que alumbra el camino,

Yo camino los pasos de los que vinieron antes de mí.

Yo cuento sus historias, sus de deseos, y mantengo sus sueños vivos.

Yo represento el sufrimiento, y el dolor.

Estoy hecha de la misma sangre que coreo en sus venas.

La lucha no solo es mía,

Es de mis antepasados.

De mis abuelos.

De mis padres.

Y para aquellos que vendrán después de mí.

-Kbeautifulmind

I am the flame that illuminates the pathway.

I walk in the footsteps of those that came before me.

I tell their old stories, their desires, and maintain their dreams alive.

I represent the sacrifice, and the pain.

I’m made of the same blood that ran through their veins.

This fight isn’t only my fight.

It’s of my ancestors.

It’s of my grandparents.

It’s of my parents.

… and for those that’ll come after me.

-Kbeautifulmind

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This is all Me

You guys want to talk about me, tell people ya’ll don’t know about me.
Telling them that ya’ll don’t know if I could succeed, if I can control what my mom left to me.
But what you guys don’t know is that this is all me, raising them is all I have known since my brother was three.
When his father took off and it went all back on her, a warrior and hero that did all she could to make me believe.
Believe in my self and understand what this was, the struggles we lived and how we never had enough.
Enough to live up to the standards of the rest, remember when we were kids you guys were considered the best.
But now look at me and all I can be, don’t question what I’m doing if you ain’t helping me.
I got this don’t trip, she prepared me enough, she knew who to trust and I’m doing it with love.
Keep running your mouths and continue to doubt, for all your are doing is pumping me up to be the best there is now.
Don’t worry about us, we already have enough, and we will only get more as we rise up our empire and are no longer apart of the poor.
That’s when you will see that our angel is here, as she believes and knows exactly what we could be.
When we succeed I can’t wait to watch you all cringe.
Cringe from the negativity you tried to poison us with, because you didn’t want to believe.
-Kbeautifulmind

This one is for the parents of the world and today’s society…

I seriously can say I LOVE LOVE LOVE school this semester, it’s alot of work and all but I really enjoy the classes I have selected to attend. One of my classes has made my feminine side get stronger and has encourage me to continue to follow my dreams with my same goals to make a difference in this world.
These past couple of day’s we been learning about love and abuse. Not just from relationships but abuse from people, normal human beings that mistreat one another in our society. Human beings who teach their children to be homosexual haters, who teach them about sexisum, envy, and verbal and physical brutality.
I believe that some of this isn’t even done intentionally it’s just that some people don’t realize how important it is to change your bad habits and try to be the best role model you can be once you have brought a child into this world.
Therfore…

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This one is for the parents of this world…
Please be good to your children, weather you did it the right way and got your life together before them or even if they were unplanned and you need to get it together with them here by your side. Remember that they are the future that could only get better then the times you have lived in, IF you role model for them appropriately. Teach them to love, to respect EVERYONE, and to judge no one, for they are no one to judge or hate others for who they are, who they like or the color of their skin. You want to always rememeber that once you have had children you need to be the very best person you can be, because once they are old enough they have a chance of mirroring you and following your every move. If you dissapoint them they have a high chance of becoming dissapointments.

This one is for the parents of today’s society…
Because the problem isn’t single mothers or young parents it’s the fact that children, not mentally fully developed adults are having children of their own.
The problem is mom’s twerking on line for attention to make some kind of point not seeing that all they are doing is announcing to the world that they have no self respect, showing their children that self respect is not important.
The problem is the parents smoking weed, doing drugs and publisizing it for the world to see on the web. You like your kush? Thats fine I’m pretty sure that 60 percent of California’s community that smoke weed are not all stupid rebellious teens. However why does the whole world have to know? Is it because you think you look cute smoking into the camara? What happens when your child is old enough to know what you are doing in that picture and when he/she tries to do it says “Mommy/Daddy I just wanted to be just like you?”
The problem is not the media, the society, or the life we have lived the problem is that these parents are not allowing themselves to be mentally developed to see the importance and responsibility that comes with having a child because they too are acting like children themselves.
So your young and have a child already, so what??? No one is asking you to hide from the world now and not have a drink once in a while or smoke a blunt or shake your tail feather to the beat of a song but don’t use your youth as an excuse on why your priorities are all mixed up.
The problem is that you NEED to grow up and be responsible for the love you have grown for that child, make them proud because if you don’t do it then who will?
You brought them to this world, therefor their future is partly your responsibility. Think about it? How will you like to see them years from now?
Even a better question…How will you like them to see you?
Everytime you do something ask yourself, would I be okay with MY child doing this? And if your answer is ever “No” then maybe it’s time to start making better choices.

Concerned for the future,
Kbeautifulmind

Take it easy on yourself!

 “When all goes bad, and you think it’ll never get better just remember; Everything happens for a reason, and It will all get better in time.”- unknown

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Hello readers!:)
My blog before this was going to be a very nasty(mean) reply to some idiot who decided it was funny to say something stupid to me on here but I learned that these are people from the past who are in the past for a reason even though they can’t seem to accept it….
So in a better mood and mindset…

Ever have days when you see your life flash before your eyes with “What if’s”  and how your life could have been if somethings wouldn’t have happened or wouldn’t be happening?

I have days like that, especially seeing on how much my life has changed over the past three years…

Before three years ago, I had a plan for everything School, Family, my future, love, friends and over all my entire life.

I guess I figured that as long as I stuck to the plan nothing could ever go wrong. I didn’t think I ever gave love or friends a reason to hurt and betray me. I never thought I could posably hurt anyone I loved with all my life. I never believed my mom would be hit with this ugly cancer “I mean there is no way right after all the things we have been through “Not us” right?” I figured things can’t ever get worse for me right? and my plans with my education did not go as planned either.

I tought I had it all figured out from never moving back home to when I would have all my degrees and jobs by to when I would start my future with a family and kids and a just “Oh so wonderful life” I truly had it all figured out, but I was partly wrong…

I guess I have learned that anything really CAN happen. That people will hurt you and that its natural to screw things up because we are all human. I learned that god will test your faith and throw off your path to see if you keep pushing to find your way.

Now dont think I’ve lost my focus… unlike others my dreams are still the same. I still want to end up in forensic psychology. My goal is to get into the criminal field as soon as possible and Im still pushing for degrees all the way till my PH.D, I still more then anything want a family of my own and a wonderful husband to share that with. I still believe in loving till death and getting married at church someday because I found my teammate and partner in crime not for any other reason. I believe in the mac to my cheese and that nothing will ever separate what we represent. And I still like always pray for all of those around me and that god allows my family and I to share a long and beautiful life together before death knocks at our doors.

and Im okay because I know that no matter what has happened if your patient everything will fall into place…

I mean yes its human nature to always wonder “What if?” I had or hadnt done that or said this or that instead…

However if your reading this and you can relate just remember…

Even when it seems like you see the end of a road it really isnt. EVERYTHING truly does happen for a reason, and whats ment to be will happen no matter what.

So, take it easy on yourself (I know its hard trust me) Take it easy on the past, dont dwell and wish it all the best, my favorite thing to say to the past and all bad is… “82 kisses and many good wishes”. Dont try to make sense of it all because it probably will NEVER make sense anyway, dont allow it to stay because the past can haunt like a ghost if you allow it.

You just have to relax, live by the moment and try to enjoy the ride.  Let go of everything internally and put it in gods hands (or who/whatever you believe in)

And finally what I seem to find really hard to do but I know will help me and anyone else…

Let go of the need to evaluate and analyse everything that has happened or will happen in your life!

Sending you peaceful vibes;
Kbeautifulmind

Hello everyone!

So I made my blog so that I could express my thoughts, however my bio also encourages any comments, concerns and questions from the public and tonight I am very happy because I finally received my first email/question!!! smile.

She says:

Kbeautifulmind,

Let me start off by saying that your blog is pretty interesting, I like your posts because you can tell you just write. You don’t try to word them “just right” what you write is truly just you, almost feels like I am having a conversation with you when I read them. I can also relate to them, they remind me of my life which is why I am writing to you to share with you my situation and see what you have to say about it? First off, Hi my name is April! I am a freshman in college and I grew up in a small town where I had a small group of friends and we were all very very very close! Unfortunately we all ended up in different schools and things are just not the same like when we were in high school. I know it has only been one semester but I feel as if I am loosing my friends, I try so hard to call and email and hang out when I can and they are just not putting in the same effort I am! They also have new friends now, I feel as if I am being replaced what should I do?

Hope you you can reply to this in a blog post, cannot wait to read,

April.

Hi April!

I’d like to thank you for the wonderful comment about my blog, I am glad to know someone is actually reading and well to reply to it I do JUST WRITE! Ha Ha I am actually a horrible speller and I can never seem to word things right but I sure can ramble on and on and on! smile.

Well here it goes this post is for you…

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“The past is called the past for a reason”

I’d like to start of by saying that no one should ever give up on anything or anyone in their lives if they feel its/they are worth fighting for, you would rather be saying “I gave it my all and it just didn’t turn out like I expected” than to be saying “I got scared and gave up and now I’m living with the regret”

So my first advise to April is to not give up on your friends tell them exactly how you feel about the situation and how things have turned out and let them know that you do not want to loose their friendship! Always remember communication is key no matter the type of relationship.

Now to better answer your question I’m going to relate to your situation…

I personally have always been a person of different emotions specially when it came to relationships with others.
I am the kind of person that if hurt or rejected I tend to run and let go of the situation instead of facing it and well If I were in your shoes like I have been before Id just feel neglected and run off loosing friendships and the bonds with people who I care about so much.

I think what makes me this way is because I tend to give my all into anything from day one and always build the perfect relationship with others even in just regular friendships. So when I get hurt and I feel betrayed or I begin to feel neglected than I tend to just shut down and I’m no longer who I use to be.

Like April I have had some very close friends some who I stopped talking to because they hurt me and others who I fell apart with, with out understanding why?

and the truth some I missed a lot! Those are the ones who I still tried to connect with. Over the years I tried so hard to communicate with them and hold on to the relationships to try and interact and keep things the same.

However with time I have accepted that “The past is called the past for a reason”. I have accepted that people grown and change and everyone moves on, and I have realized that that’s not such a bad thing. I have also accepted that I myself need to live in the present and look forward to the future. I mean why am I going to dwell on situations and moments I cannot change? There is no reason why I should be trying to re live moments in my life I have already experienced, go places where I have already been and not allowing my self to discover the wonderful new things that await for me.

So with this I leave you April and all other readers…

If there is someone in your life who you are reaching out to, weather it is a group of friends or anyone else and they just aren’t appreciating the attention you are giving them, do not be afraid to continue on with your life specially if you are in a new place like college. You can still discover what life has to offer and hold on to the memories and good times you shared with those people and if they truly care about you they will reach out eventually and make some effort of their own to be apart of your wonderful new life.

April! Don’t sweat it, allow yourself to make new friends of your own and if your friends truly appreciate the bond you guys have build through out the years they will eventually make some effort of their own. However do not forget to talk to them and tell them how you feel as a way of saying you at least “let them know”.

Thank you so much for reading,

Kbeautifulmind