Antepasados/Ancestors

Yo soy la lumbre que alumbra el camino,

Yo camino los pasos de los que vinieron antes de mí.

Yo cuento sus historias, sus de deseos, y mantengo sus sueños vivos.

Yo represento el sufrimiento, y el dolor.

Estoy hecha de la misma sangre que coreo en sus venas.

La lucha no solo es mía,

Es de mis antepasados.

De mis abuelos.

De mis padres.

Y para aquellos que vendrán después de mí.

-Kbeautifulmind

I am the flame that illuminates the pathway.

I walk in the footsteps of those that came before me.

I tell their old stories, their desires, and maintain their dreams alive.

I represent the sacrifice, and the pain.

I’m made of the same blood that ran through their veins.

This fight isn’t only my fight.

It’s of my ancestors.

It’s of my grandparents.

It’s of my parents.

… and for those that’ll come after me.

-Kbeautifulmind

Man. Crush. Monday

Man. Crush. Monday

This one’s for the men who still believe in chivalry.
The one’s opening doors, giving forehead kisses, dedicating songs, committing and appreciating one woman instead of trying to juggle 3 or 5 at a time.
This one’s for the men who make the effort, who go out their way to spend time with a woman,who rather call or face time instead of just text with… “WYD.”
The one’s who cherish the women in their lives and respect them like they would respect their own mother or sisters.
This one’s for the men that are honest and faithful, instead of acting like children and playing stupid games.
The one’s who rather see a woman strong and smiling, instead of weak and in tears.
This one’s for REAL men who have never abused (verbally or physically) a woman, raped, belittled, or hurt her emotionally just because it’s what they needed to do to feel powerful.
The one’s who realize when they have made the mistake to hurt a woman, and have faced the situation instead of hiding like a coward.
This one’s for the men who remember how their mother raised them, and won’t let today’s society turn them into heartless ignorant idiots.
The one’s who are smart, ambitious, driven, and dreamers, because their is nothing sexier than a man who desires to always keep learning and growing.
This one’s for the real ones.
The real men of today’s world that are over shadowed by the “player, anti commitment, insta – famous, only date girls with big butt and waist trained bodies, fuck boys.”
This one’s for the good men, the few left that should be so proud that they haven’t fallen under the claws of today’s society and it’s ways of trying to belittle women.
The one’s who admire their woman by their side, and don’t push them to the back because they feel threatened.
This one is for you guys.
We appreciate you.
-Kbeautifulmind

Closing down the love factory…

I have a couple close friends I talk to on a daily basis.

I am a horrible at texting at times and I almost never answer my phone, but they manage to work with me and I work with them.

We all put in a lot of effort to keep in touch throughout the days even if we don’t see each other constantly.

No one plays victim, or whines about how I or THEY are “horrible” friends.

Why? well because we are grown and mature enough to know that it’s all a part of being an adult.

Anyway… we will save that topic for another blog.

So…

My point was…

I have one girlfriend that in a sense loves like I do…

Hopelessly.

She like I… is a poet, an artist, and the a big hopeless romantic.

So guess what our main topics usually consists of?

L O V E

and

R E L A T I O N S H I P S

One of our most frustrating struggles is that we care too much.

We are woman who will fight and do whatever it takes to make things right.

We over love at times and we over push to make things right.

We visit the past all the time, and we try to find the closure we “feel” we need.

Yes I said feel, and I say this because we both know very well that not every situation needs closure or a happy ending…

But…

our big hearts, our personas, or our souls just don’t allow us to live by this motto.

Instead we wait for the apology we might never get, we want to stay friends with people we dated, and we think everyone is some how meant to stay in our lives.

I know, we are a bit crazy.

or…

we just love too hard?

Not sure.

I think we just see the good in the ugly.

Anyway, we aren’t like stokers or anything… so don’t freak out ha ha.

So in the middle of our conversation the other day…

I was explaining to her how I do not understand how people can become involved with you, come into your life or path, and just hurt you?
or…
Just cut you off and leave you there like some slap of ribs on the floor for the dogs to eat, without some kind of peace treaty or closure?

I guess I just don’t have it in me to hurt people in such selfish way.

I mean, I know I’ve broken hearts and I’ve had my share of rejecting…

but, usually I make sure that it’s understood and it’s ended peacefully.

I guess that’s the part of me that expects every situation to end in a happy ending.

If it was up to me, every single person I’ve ever dated (except for like two of them) would still be my friend.

Those that have hurt me would have apologized and we’d leave things in a peaceful treaty.

We’d pass by each other on the streets and say hello, or maybe even grab coffee and catch up once in a while…

Those that have said “I want to stay friends” would mean it and actually check up on me once in a while and see how I am doing…

But, realistically that is impossible.

and…

probably not healthy ha ha.

So in the conversation I made a joke but, serious statement where I told her; “I am closing down the love factory, for a bit.”

She laughed and said; “Me too! Before I become one of those bitter chicks.”

I laughed and said; “Yeah, we don’t want to become that…”

However, that is definitely not my reason why.

I have made this decision for a couple good reasons and have decided to make it a firm promise.

Now, If the “one” were to come knocking on my door, I wouldn’t be like “LEAVE.” Ha.
But…

I just feel like my desire for having “someone” is no longer as big as my desire for happiness.

I actually enjoy being alone.

I have always enjoyed it.

I love to shop alone, I don’t mind enjoying a meal for one, and I’ll even go to a movie alone without a care in the world.

However, sometimes it’s nice to have someone to talk to, to share with, to face time, and to adventure with.

So I am not “shutting out” on love and the hope to find someone to team up with in this cruel world.

But, I am directing my focus on other things for the mean time.

I’d like to put all my time and heart into my career.

I love the field I am studying, and I am eager to start practicing it as soon as possible.

I want to travel, take on new hobbies, and rekindle the old ones I have lost touch with.

I want to be joyful, I want to be happy and truly satisfied with myself.

I will say, getting your heart-broken makes you a bit disappointed and hopeless…

But, it also teaches you a lot and I have built so much self-love, peace, and strength that my only desire is to continue to grow and build that even stronger.

I want to be so good with just me, that I never forget my worth and how valuable I am.

This is important, for the reason that the person I settle down with someday has to be at my same level.

I refuse to settle.

I want to build a strong empire someday, a team so strong that it can conquer anything life throws at us.

For that goal, I know I must first be good with myself.

So good that I know and any one that I come across will know…

that I will not settle for anything less.

I refuse to mess this vision up, or cloud it with anyone one that I KNOW just doesn’t fit the standard.

As our generation would say “No more fuck boys”

But in my words…

No more games, or unsure feelings.

What I will accept right now is friendships, true genuine friendships…

If with time something builds from one of them or someone comes along worthy of my commitment then, I will be so good with myself that I will be capable of loving them like they deserve.

Looking forward to the re-opening of the love factory,

Kbeautfulmind

My Recipe to a Successful Relationship

I use to believe that being in the perfect relationship or being the perfect couple only needed one ingredient; Love.
image

However, as you mature and get older you come to realize that sometimes love is really not enough. Sometimes there is more that is needed for a good recipe, and even then it might not be perfect.
You see, a relationship takes up a lot of time and attention. It requires good amount of effort and consideration. But we don’t realize that at the beginning because we are so blinded by what I like to call the “honey moon stage.” When we like some one or better yet love someone, you experience a happiness like no other, those wonderful butterfly’s that make you feel like you are on top of the world! Unfortunately as happy as that person once made you, they can also become the number one reason of a misery you thought you’d never experience. Because after the honeymoon stage there is always a little chance of it all going sour.

This leads me to my recipe on the subject, which is really quite simple. First make sure you are in love or if not “in” love then make sure you Love and really care about the person. If there is no love it probably won’t last very long. Love can not be forced; we can’t work towards falling in love, if we could they wouldn’t call it “falling” in love. You don’t have complete control over whom you fall in love with and or how long that love will last. Therefor if you are trying to force it what ever your reasons may be, then it won’t work out, it just won’t.
The next ingredient is Accept as well as comprehending everything about your partner. You must really get to know the person, do not get fooled by the butterfly’s you are feeling. Ask your self “Who is he/she when I’m not looking?” “Do I like what they are/represent?”
A guy I once dated told me “You don’t even know me anymore.” I’ll admit that in that moment I disagreed with him. How could two people that had been friends for over 8 years and dated for about half of that not know each other? I had devoted so much time, and years to this relationship that I couldn’t believe this was true. Later I realized he was right; that’s what I had been fighting for I wanted him to get to know me again because he didn’t know me either. I mean it’s not like we didn’t know each other at all, because we did at one point. For God sakes we are sitting right next to each other in our pre-school pictures, to me this love seemed like destiny like It was meant to be because I had never loved anyone so much. But we fell a part because we were both changing and growing, and as you grow your way of thinking or seeing things doesn’t always stay the same. If you don’t continue to get to know each other and keep up, then you will grow a part. Therefore we must accept that we all change; the desires your partner has now won’t be the same in the next 5-15 years, they just won’t. That’s when you’ll decide if you want to learn to accept and comprehend this new person instead of loosing them. Just remember once you loose them it’s rare when you can get them back, make sure this is a risk your willing to take you don’t want to end up living in regret.
My third ingredient is Sharing; I’m sure you have all heard the saying “sharing is caring” which comes from the idea that if you care about someone or a group of people you’ll be willing to share some of your “things” with them. In relationships this saying is very, very true. First off, if you’re keeping things from them it’s bound to fail. However for the most part if you are serious about this person and are committed you must realize that you are now a part of a “TEAM” and as a team player you can’t keep the plays, moves or tricks from the rest of the team and expect to win. However it also takes two to tango and if one person is sharing and trying but the other doesn’t care then it’s not a lot of fun as you start feeling alone. Just make sure you share and also listen to their sharing and it will be so much fun. Share your dreams, fears, desires, what excites you, what turns you on, and even what pisses you off.
Don’t ask…
“How was your day?”
Ask…
“How was your mathematic class?”
“What did you do at work today?”
“What’s on your mind?”
Not only will open questions force your lover to open up to you but it will bring you guys closer together, making your relationship better.
For my last ingredient but probably the most important is Trust. Trusting your significant other is a absolute must in a relationship. I know, I know this is the hardest one yet. I struggle from it really bad as I’ve programmed myself not to trust anyone because I once was so gullible and I’d always get hurt or screwed over. Therefore by experience I know that it’s hard but I have also learned that there is still good people out there, so I don’t let it take over my life or relationship. Don’t be the girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife who calls 24-7.
“You got off from work 5 minutes ago, where are you?”
“No you can not go to that bar for guys night, there is a lot of women there. I trust you but I don’t trust them.
First of all that whole “I trust you but I don’t trust them” is BS. Yes there is dirty women out there that seem to be attracted by the wedding band or the “I have a girlfriend” line, however just remember “It takes two to tango”.
If someone is going to cheat or back stab you they’ll do it no matter how many times you call, text, yell or how short you keep the leash. If they screw you over it’s their lost. But also if they don’t give you the attention you deserve then they pushed you. All situations are different but if it has gotten to that point, I only have two words… MOVE ON.
Just remember not to let fear and jealousy interfere because a relationship like that isn’t healthy. Not only will you psych yourself out, but you’ll be that annoying couple no one likes to really hang out with because they got tired of hearing…
“You like her? Go get her, I saw you staring! I’m sure if I wasn’t here you probably would!”
No matter what your reasons for acting that way may be, don’t do it unless you want to drive yourself to miserie.
It’s very simple folks, it only takes those main ingredients and a little bit of your own twist to it. If two people put in the effort this recipe will help make your relationship LAST.

Love.Accept.Share.Trust.

Playing cupid;
Kbeautifulmind