Beads for Battle

“A kind gesture can reach a wound only compassion can heal” -unknown

I have to admit I use to look at people who had no legs or were disabled in some way weather it was being sick or what not and I would get so sad for them.
I remember when I was like 7 years old and I had to get in the bus with my grandma in Mexico, there was a kid in there with no shoes all dirty and gross, he smelled so so bad. He only had one leg and had these hand made crutches to help him around. When we got out of the bus I started to cry and my grandma asked what was wrong? I told her I was sad for that little boy as I asked why don’t his parents take him a shower? And why did “diosito” (god) only give him one leg?
She said to me that he probably didn’t have parent’s and that something must have happened to him in explanation of the leg…
I cried even harder and said “Grandma why do parents leave?”
Since I was also suffering in understanding why I didn’t have a father at the time, I just didn’t get it.
I remember going to church that week on Sunday and that’s when I really started to pray. I began by praying for the little boy as I asked him to please bless him with some love and support because he was a little boy and didn’t deserve to be alone.
And that’s when I began to ask God to please protect my family and loved ones because I wouldn’t want to loose them or to see them hurt.
I remember thinking that if I did this every night and said thank you everyday we would all be okay.
As you all may have read after finding out about my mom’s diagnostic I felt like god had let me down and I was mad at him…
But don’t worry I think him and I are cool now 🙂
But I was mad because I guess I felt that as long as I spoke to him and asked and thanked every one would be fine. But I didn’t realize that there was more to this disease then what god controls and that I am NOT the only one feeling this pain.

“Hi my name is Cynthia. In April 2013 I was diagnosed with stage 3 Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. I started this organization to show support and spread positivity to others who are fighting for their lives. These strong individual’s need support to have the confidence to continue their battle…”

About a week or so I “met” Cynthia through a facebook message.
The thing is I already knew her story because we both have a wonderful friend by the name of Nairy who shared her story with me and told me a bit about her organization “Beads for battle”
I’ll admit that when Nairy told me I didn’t pay much attention. It’s not that I wasn’t interested I remember thinking “Why to such a young girl god, poor thing” but I was so caught up in my own life and issues that I didn’t further look into it.
When Cynthia contacted me on Facebook I felt like she had just gave me one of those big bear hugs that just make you relax and feel like everything will be okay. I felt the fight in her words and mind as well as true sympathy coming out of everything she wrote.
I knew right then and there that God gave her only what she could handle. God knew her strength and her big heart and knew she would use it to support others and spread love as well as her strength.
In that moment I knew I didn’t have to actually meet Cynthia in person to know that this young lady was an angel. As she told me that my family and I would be in her prayers and reminded me that “No one fights alone” I knew she was there for me.
That same day as we messaged back and forth, Cynthia offered to send my family and I some bracelets with beads and crosses that would remind us that we were not alone. Yesterday I received those beads and it was like Christmas in February! Not only were they absolutely beautiful but they put a big smile on my face because it’s like I could hear her telling me “No one fights alone”
In that moment I realized that we really are brought into this world for different purposes and I just pray that God continues to give people like Cynthia, my mom and other cancer victims the strength to fight on!
Happy with my pretty bracelets;
Kbeautifulmind

P.S if you’d like to donate to help Cynthia continue with this wonderful organization or would like to order a bracelet for a family member or yourself contact her at beadsforbattle@yahoo.com or find her on twitter: @beadsforbattle or find her page on facebook: beads for battle Inc.

Can we get 6,000…?

It’s Friday after noon and I just called my mom to see how she was doing?
She is a bit better today, her back no longer hurts but she can barely walk, because the pain on the leg is still very strong.
We got a hold of the doctor after we left the hospital and clearly I was right (read my last post) the doctor at emergency over exaggerated a bit. I mean he wasn’t lying, yes cancer in the bone eventually eats up at the bones causing them to collapse. However my mom isn’t quiet there yet. The doctor said her cancer had not grown or moved compared to the last scan he did and that as long as we acted on it we can buy her some time.

Our next issue is the Medi-Cal, my mom has been waiting for an approval for full coverage for over a year now and every time it gets denied….

“She make to “much money!”” they say….

Yet she has no income at all coming in right now… Does that make any sense?

Anyway, as of now my mom has a monthly deductible of 1000 for any medical care that’s not including her treatments and medication.

Therefor even though the doctor has suggested a treatment that can prolong her life and radiation to decrease the pain, we have to either wait or get about $6,000 together to get things started.

Well as you all may predict my mouth dropped as I shead tears knowing there was no way I could get $6,000. My mom told me to stop crying “things will work out for the best.” Even though I appreciate her strength and I am glad she is so positive, I knew in that moment things won’t fall into place any time soon. Unless I could get $6,000 soon. I knew there was no way I was going to win the lottery or meet some one super wealthy that wouldn’t mind just giving me 6,000 dollars and I knew I couldn’t save that money on top of all the bills I have to pay with the kind of money I make. So I decided to swallow my pride and start a fundraiser. Well its not exactly a fundraiser I guess, it’s more like another way of begging for money which is why I kept questioning it and why I’m keeping it from my mom.
So far I’ve raised 265 dollars just telling a small summary of our crazy life story and if this is going to help get my mom treated faster then so be it. I don’t care if she finds out and gets mad, I don’t care what other’s have to say, I need her here with me and the fact that I can’t make things better kills me inside every single day. Therefore I will do anything to get her that treatment, even if it’s considered begging.

I’m sorry mom that I am asking others for help but I’m not ready to give in to loosing you just yet and I still can’t handle all of this on my own.

For those of you interested in her status, I’ll keep you updated.

and if you care to donate or maybe even just want to share the link to help me spread the word….

Share this link on your social media pages and ask friends to share too! Let’s raise some money for my mommy! http://www.gofundme.com/6ezk9c

Until next time,
Kbeautifulmind

Now these are good friends…

I’m currently at the hospital with my mom, she is in a lot, a lot of pain. I seriously hate this freaken disease. I am so so sleepy, I feel bad for being sleepy because I know she needs me right now!

Not only is seeing her in pain frustrating but it’s also all so confusing.

She just had a cat scan so we are waiting for results. She has this bad pain in her lower back, she can’t move at all, we know there is cancer now by her spine but it has been there for a while and as far as we know it’s not really harmful yet…

She had to pee, and she couldn’t even move so her two friends had to help me lift her, pull her panties down and slip something underneath to catch her pee…

With unbearable pain and all, as we saw all of her naked parts she looked at me and said “Now these are good friends” and like always she was right, she has close amazing friends that always have her back.

1 1/2 hours later…

Results came back, it sounds weird but I hate how these doctors explain…

“Results show there is pieces of mass on her spine, which is causing her pain, if something isn’t done soon it will continue to eat at it till her bones collaps.”

I wanted to say “Dude RELAX”

So I began to ask, what does the scan show? How do you know it is IN the bones?”

“Well it’s right next to the spine”

“Yes I know that, it has been there since she got diagnosed”

Basically long story short they over exaggerate. I mean I understand they don’t have all her history so what they see is what they say, however they need to relax!

I have to say they make me more nervous….

It can’t be moving fast through her body, it just can’t!……. I pray not…

30 minutes later…

Taking her home in a bit, making a doctor’s appointment tomorrow, let’s see what’s next.

Feeling a bit sad;
Kbeautifulmind

Just keep Swimming

As many of you may know my mother has Cancer, Lung Cancer Stage 4.
Although all we have heard is its not curable we can only try pro long her life, something in me doesn’t settle for these answers and something in her doesn’t settle either shes a fighting warrior and will continue to fight till the end.
Since my mom was diagnosed I’ve done my research from reading stories, about other treatments, to EVERYTHING I’ve dedicated alot of my time to this disease and I guess trying to understand it and find some answers.

When I found out about how long your hair had to be to donate it and where I could send it in, I also came across a story about this beautiful girl by the name of Talia.
Talia was a young girl that at the age of about 8 years old was diagnosed with Cancer.
What the hell do you even know at age 8?
I mean your suppose to be playing outside, wearing your moms heels and lip sticks not laying in a bed fighting for your life!
This young girl was something else, she was strong, and just different from other young girls. Talia forgot the fact that she was sick, forgot the fact that she was bald and pushed through fighting for 6 years straight in the best mood she could ever be. She inspiring young girls and all people around the world to see the true beauty of life. She said she will not let this bring her down or let her be depressed because a little fish once told her to “Just keep swimming”
She called her self “The Bald Girl” and inspired people by showing her true beauty as one of gods angels. She did make up tutorials on YouTube, She was a host on Ellen’s Show and was also an inspiring face for the cover on “Cover Girl”
This morning at only age 13 at 11:22am Talia earned her wings. God decided she was good to go and took his angel with him to watch over the rest of us down here.

I’ll never understand this disease, but what I do understand now is god picks his warrior who he knows could handle what he is giving them and Talia was just another warrior in this world…
R.I.P TaliaJoy

and remember everyone no matter what your going through…

“Just keep Swimming”♥

Kbeautifulmind