Something in side me….

There is something in side of me that eats at me.
This something comes along at random times of the day; ruining my mood, making me loose focus and making me weaker everytime.
I can be happy and in a good mood, thinking positive, and then it shows up like a wild beast ready to destroy me.
It always starts off with my brain and it argues with me in side my head.
What did you do?
What are you doing?
What’s going on?
What’s coming next?
I quickly question it and ask “What are you talking about? Everything is great!”

But it shakes it’s head at me saying “You can fool everyone else but you can not full me”
After my mind it moves slowly and takes over my heart like a tumor swallowing it slowly, not wanting it to live.
It brings me to tears, and I feel my lungs drying up, Im loosing air…
“Could I die like this?”

It’s making me feel like I’m not enough, like the fault is all mine…

That’s when I begin to think that maybe I’m not so tough.

And then…

Something inside me wakes up, and it fights!

And I fight it and even though it takes a little piece of me every time it can’t seem to ever take me hole.

And I say to it…

“I will never let you take me out that way”

Kbeautifulmind.

When I look into my niece’s eyes…

You wouldn’t believe the most amazing things that come from the unexpected surprises in our lives…♡

When my sister got pregnant I was mad at her.
I say some pretty mean things when I’m hurt. I mean they do say “Never believe what comes out of a persons mouth when they are mad” or “She/He was mad and didn’t mean it”
and in my case this is very true.
Usually when Im mad I laugh at people or at the situation. Ironic I know but the truth is that making me mad doesn’t happen often in my life; However hurting me can come very easy if you put effort into it well at least if I’ve grown to care about you a lot you can really destroy me emotionally.
For example, hurt me then asked me “Do you still love me?”
and you’ll probably get an “I don’t know” or I’ll make up a good one and tell you “I’ve moved on an put fire to the rain” even if I’m dying inside from all the hurt because I still love you with all my heart.

Sadly I shut down and build a wall and sadly most people haven’t stuck around long enough to break it so I just stay hurt and thats sadly the end of that…

Now piss me off, disappoint me and hurt me and even I am disturbed with what comes out of my mouth… its a very bad habit I am honestly ashamed of but I guess it’s because when I love I go all in and when I get hurt I feel so broken I just don’t know how to deal with it.

Well like I said when I found out my sister was pregnant I was hurt because she had made me a promise that ment a lot to me, I was disappointed because she betrayed that promise and I was mad because in that moment I felt like she was an idiot for allowing this to happen knowing her life wasn’t all put together like it should be. She knew how much we had suffered with our single mom so why the HELL not break the cycle and better her future…

As you can see growing up with a single mom has hurt me a lot because I don’t want my siblings to have to suffer like my mom has. I don’t want them to “work to die” I want them to “work to live” I want them to make a bright future out of themselves and become independent successful people.
When my sister told me she was pregnant I thought her life was over…
and to some young parents it is but not because they had a baby but because they waisted it and took it for granted.
Thats when I realized that my mom didn’t “work to die” she might have worked hard all her life and didn’t get to work to “live it up” but she worked for us and she gave us a great life and loved us so much and that is living. Yeah we suffered, we stressed but then again who doesn’t.
Then on August 25th at around 1:25pm Audrina Genevieve came into our world. When I met my niece and looked into those big googly eyes I couldn’t believe it. In that moment I knew that the future of my sister wouldn’t depend on the fact that this blessing from above was now with us. It wouldn’t make a diffrence it was still on how my sister wanted to build it for herself. I realized that baby or no baby she was still going to make things happen the way she wanted to.

Yes it will be a bit harder and at times she might stress more then others but I now know Audrina is a unexpected blessing to all of us and I am so grateful for her.

Audrina has brought happiness, hope and faith in to our lives. This is something that was covered by a sad storm last December. She is our little Angel god send us to show us that everything will be alright.

When I look into my niece’s eyes I can now see that she was the best unexpected surprise anyone could have ever asked for♥

Therefor when times seem hard, and life is just dark remember that god is sending something good your way you might just not realize what it is going to come in. It can come in a new love, a good friend, or even in a addition to the family. Just know that it’s coming and it will soon brighten up your life again♥

Happy Auntie;
Kbeautifulmind

Dam you Desperate House Wives…

My Sundays are the most boring days of my week, you see even though I work 6 days a week and go to school 4 days a week I like it a bit because it keeps me busy, gives me no time to think about the hard times and over all keeps me moving.

I know its not good to bottle it all up inside because its unhealthy for the human body.
If many of you didn’t know negative stress is the most deadly disease there could be. It is one of the causes for many other diseases to our bodies and its one of the most horrible feelings in the world. I say one of the most because I honestly think a heart break might be worse.

It’s probably the main cause of my moms cancer since she has lived her hole life in stress and working hard to give us a decent living.

Anyway, Sundays are so boring I rarly have anything to do at work that I sit here and fiddle with my phone, play candy crush or go on my social media apps or pin on pintrest till Im tired of it. As I do that Ill watch a movie on Netflix or a new show series. You would think I’d take this time to do some homework but I can’t seem to concentrate on homework when Im here. Ironic I know, but it really really gets that boring. This morning I painted my nails and at the same time continued to watch the TV show series of “Desperate House Wives” I like this show because although some of it may seem a bit “stupid” there is always a lesson or some kind of knot that ties the hole episode together and gives it a meaning.
This morning I saw an episode of season 5 called “The best thing that ever could have happened” Basically the episode ties around the story of a “handy man” who came to wisteria lane the street where all these rich wives and their husbands live in and asked one of them for a job, he slowly made his way around the block and made his business grow. Although the guy could fix anything what truly got him all his jobs was the big heart he carried in his cheast. The man was not only a handy man but also a wonderful friend that sadly these ladies didn’t notice as much as they should have. He would give them great advise and help them with more then just a lock, or a window or a clogged sink. Anyway the man died of a heart attack and the hole episode the ladies would remember how he helped them. They began to realize how wonderful he was as a person not just a great handy man.
Anyway the episode brought me to tears like dramatic big fat water fall tears that I was very glad in that moment how slow work was on Sundays. Ha ha

I mean if you know me well, you know that I am a BIG cry baby, yes I am. I cry to the lion king, every love story in a film and I own many of them on DVD and no matter how many times I watch them I ALWAYS cry. It’s something I don’t know where I picked it up from because my father was as cold as the North Pole and my mom is not really emotional either. She always says that “crying isn’t going to fix anything”
Anyway I cried for her actually. I cried because my mom has a heart as big as that handy man on the show and she has always been such a great friend and helping hand to so many people.

I honestly use to hate it. I would get so mad at her that she’d always be going the extra mile for all of her “so called” friends. Most of them till this day have not realized how great she is. From rides, to a place to stay, advise and even driving a friend home once after catching her cheating husband at some bar at 2 in the morning. I would get mad at her because I felt they didn’t appreciate her and most of them really didn’t.
One day I remember telling her “Ugh! You are so annoying why do you go out of your way for your stupid ungrateful friends? Your always doing anything to help them and when the hell do they ask you how your doing?” She laughed at me and said “I know, I know shut up already”

Then one night a couple of years back I got home from a very annoying night of driving around a group of drunk boys that were old friends/acquaintances.

She laughed when I walked in and said “Don’t you work tomorrow? And need to drive all the way back to Northridge?” “I said yes, why do you ask?”
and that’s when she said to me…
“You see in some ways you are as “annoying” as I am. You sit here and always ask me why I do so much for all these so called “friends” of mine but here you are coming in late because your friends were drunk so they needed a designative driver. And if you haven’t notice your always one to offer help to your friends and loved ones. You practically give your life for the guy your in love with and would do anything to make life easier for those around you no matter how hard your life is. So tell me do they ever ask you how your doing? Feeling? If times are hard or not? Probably not!
You see Kelsey it’s not that your dumb or trying to be “annoying” but its just that some of us were born with big hearts and the patience and ability to help people. We hurt for others when they are in pain and we feel that we must help anyone in need. Now weather you enjoy it or not which in your case you don’t. However you’ll come to a time in your life when you’ll realize that as annoying as it is or weather people appreciate it or not you know you are doing a good thing. You know that you couldn’t just walk away and make your drunk friends find their own ride or even worse drive them selves. But most of all you’ll know that god gave you a big heart for a reason and although at times you may dread helping others because you feel they don’t appreciate it or take advantage of you. When that day comes you wont care because you are a caring, helping person like your mom and you’ll be okay helping others because in that moment you’ll know that this is the special gift that god gave you and you will know he watches our every move. When that time comes just remember that one who gives will always receive even if it is not directly from the same person.”

I cried to this episode of Desperate House Wives because I finally had that moment. I was so proud to see how I have grown, proud to know that my moms good ways have rubbed off on me. Although I get annoyed with people very easily and I can’t stand ungrateful jerks that don’t notice how much you care about them and what you would do to make them happy. In that moment I realized that she was right. I dont regret driving drunk friends around. Opening my home to an old friend I saw as my sister who later betrayed me by saying my family was a group of losers who couldn’t financially keep themselves stabled. I dont regret going out of my way for anyone even dropping my entire life for a guy I saw the rest of my life with. Because from all of those experiences I did get something back in return. I grew and I learned to better appreciate life around me, to appreciate those who were still by my side, to learn from my own mistakes and regrets and to make a pact with god that as long as I live and I can I will continue to help those around me because someday they will notice and if they don’t Ill be at peace because I know he does.

Being a big cry baby like always;
Kbeautifulmind.

Little o’ miss nice cinderella♥

Hello everyone;
I like to greet all of you like if I have regular readers or something like that…
Ha ha I know its silly but everytime I get on here I imagine myself in a room sitting there and actually talking to a bunch of people or even a small audience…
I’m a weirdo, I know. Anyway it has been a very long time since I have wrote anything but to admit I’m always writing in my head its just hard to keep up with my blog on top of my busy life…
I just got out of work, I work two jobs and go to school full time. I work 6 days a week with one day off and that’s the day I’m in school ALL DAY. So as you may see Im a busy busy bee.
In all of that I manage to fit in a relationship with a great guy who also works full time and goes to school so he is very understanding 🙂
And I can’t forget about my amazing friends who are also busy bee’s and well I try my very BEST to fit them into my schedule too! They KNOW and also understand!
Anyway it’s nights like these where my feet hurt, my back aches and I had to work a hole other hour because I work with some lazy ass people who could careless if the work gets done, now they aren’t all like that but the ones that are make me just want to scream and say “Forget this s#&t!”
I’ve lost count of the days that I just want to throw everything on the floor & say “Forget work I can’t even stand these jobs 80 percent of the time, forget school and this degree that takes too long and forget everyone and everything! I’m done being nice, I’m done being the only one that plays by the rules and being little miss nice cinderella…”
Then god reminds me…
Its like some sort of will power takes over my body and tells me to “chill out!”
It tells me that my break is coming soon and one day I’ll be able to look back with pride and see that everything I have is not because anyone else handed it to me but because I (ME!) worked hard for it!
This thing, a very powerful thing that gets inside tells me to look around and see that I am alive, I have met my long life friends, Im loved truly and my momma is still by our side smiling, my family is united and healthy and have all gotten another chance at another day!”
That’s when I breath, I relax and take a minute to thank god for all I have for it might not be worth much to others but to me its worth everything…

So remember you may be tired today

(Shoot! IM SUPER tired!)

But tomorrow is another day that reminds you that if your lucky enough to have the chance and live it, your that much closer to your carriage, that much closer to the ball and the happy ending, to the days where all the hard work will pay off!

Little o’ miss nice cinderella;
Kbeautifulmind

An open letter to my absent father…

“When a father walks out on his daughter he takes a piece of her soul with him.” Iyanla Vanzant

I have to admit when I was a kid not having a father was hard. I remember not understanding why I couldn’t be a “daddy’s girl/princess” like the rest of my friends. I use to wonder what would happen when the moment came that I would get married to my “Prince Charming?”

Who would walk me down the aisle?

I hated fathers day because that meant making some kind of arts and craft decoration and when it came to speaking up about who we were going to give it to…

I’d lie and say “my uncle….”and as I walked out of class I’d just throw it away.
I will never forget an incident in the 4th grade when I threw away this box thing we had made and my class mate caught me and asked

“Kelsey your box was the best one? I thought you were going to give it to your uncle who has been like a dad to you? Let me guess you don’t know who your dad is do you? Don’t feel bad I know this girl who doesn’t know who her dad is because her mom use to go out a lot TOO and got pregnant very young…”
In that moment I don’t know what was hotter my burning red face or my sweater that was making me sweat…
I said to her “Too? I don’t know what your talking about but I DO know who my dad is but, I just happen to have a pretty awesome mom who left him because he was mean to her…”
I couldn’t believe what this girl had just said to me!?

I mean I was only 9 years old but I knew exactly what kind of woman was a woman who “had a lot of fun” and didn’t know who the father of her child was…

and that was NOT the case for my mom at all!
After that incident I really grew up…

Although the arts and crafts activities wouldn’t follow me to middle school, I was finally proud of not having a dad.

I was glad I didn’t have to celebrate fathers day for someone who didn’t deserve it, and I might have only been 9 but in that moment I knew exactly who would walk me down the aisle someday…

and that ladies and gentlemen was and will be my Mother.

Even though my father has made his way back into the lives of my sister and I a couple of times, god knows even if we tried to let him in… it would be a very bad idea.

I mean we have actually tried but it never turns out pretty…

An open letter to my absent father…

Dear Frank;
I don’t hate you, although you have done and said some pretty crucial things to me, I don’t hate you.
I don’t hate you because if it wasn’t for your involvment with my mother…

I wouldn’t be here today,
for that I thank you.
You know when I was a kid I missed you, I don’t know what I missed but, I know that I missed you, the “dad” I never had. I missed someone to comb my hair before I went to bed, or read me a bed time story. Someone to chase the boys away and tell me that no guy would ever be good enough for his baby girl.
However, what I wanted more than anything in this world…

was a hug.

I dreamed of that moment where I would find you, and you would wrap your arms around me and tell me; “Honey, I missed you.”
When you finally contacted us, I’ll never forget that moment!

It was like Michelle and I had just been told we won the lottery!

We were nervous, and scared, but very excited to meet you.

I know she also couldn’t sleep the night before and I’m sure she was also wondering what you would be like?

If you would be happy to see us?

I expected a sweet man with a BIG present (not that the material things mattered but its just what I imagined), and a man so excited to see us that he’d tell us; “Sit down and tell me everything about you? What do you want to be when you grow up? Whats your favorite food? Whats your favorite color?”

But you were nothing like I/we imagined…

and a part of me is sad and disappointed I ever let you in my life…

I mean at least if I would have never “re met” you…

I could have just forever imagined that you were a wonderful, and loving dad who missed us.

But, the other part of me is glad I got to meet the real you.

I got to know your true colors and you got to set the perfect example of everything I don’t want to be…

or of the kind of future husband I pray I dont choose…

So the truth I really don’t hate you even if you’ve said to me;

“The day you die I am going to thank god for it!”

I just feel sorry for you, and I pray that someday before you must leave this earth that you ask god for forgiveness and that you may find peace in your heart.

I pray for you always Frank, and that the day you are gone may your soul be able to rest in peace.

Good luck “dad”…

and…

Incase you care my favorite colors have always been yellow, pink, and white.

My favorite food is Italian, Asian and Mexican.

I want to be a forensic psychologist or a marriage and family therapist when I “grow up”.

Sincerely;

Your Daughter

Kbeautifulmind.

Root of Origin

“Why did you start your blog? Is that still why you blog, or has your site gone in a different direction than you’d planned?”

I’d have to say my starting point for my blog was to be a sholder for someone to cry on, a friend to listen, or over all just someone to vent to for anyone who came across my blog.
After all they say its easier for most people to let out steem or express them selves to a total stranger then to someone close to them.

Why?

Well you see I feel its because its your inner voice saying “If you dont know them therefor what they think of you doesn’t matter”

I mean think about it most of us are watching what we say, do, wear, or how we appear to others because we are afraid of judgment or negative feedback.

I personally feel “Who Cares” if they truly care and understand they will listen and have your back and if they judge you or criticize then maybe they shouldn’t matter to you as much as they do right?

Well anyways that was the idea of my blog a “helping” hand but…

Then I realized that the truth was that I needed to let some steem off myself, I needed some one to read and just nod like they get it even if they didn’t and not say anything at all. To be completely honest I have to say I love to listen and give advise and be your friend but for the most part I dont like advise myself! I just want someone to listen and thats it… ironic I know (sigh)

Anyways then in late November 2012 my mom got diagnosed with Lung Cancer and I just wanted to tell my story. My new purpose of my blog was to vent and just share with everyone what I was going through because I knew that someone out there had to be going through this too; They had to be! And if I could connect with someone and help them as I help myself; That was good enough for me.

So I don’t know if my blog has gone on a different direction then I planned or if my purpose was always the same but what I do know is my blog is a page where I’d like for anyone to go on it and say “Finally someone who understands me!” and for them to know that if they need me Im only an email away!

and that my friends is the only reason I need to continue to write!♥

Sending happy thoughts your way;
Kbeautifulmind

Inspired by: The daily prompt

Take it easy on yourself!

“When all goes bad, and you think it’ll never get better just remember; Everything happens for a reason, and It will all get better in time.”- unknown

Hello readers!:)
My blog before this was going to be a very nasty(mean) reply to some idiot who decided it was funny to say something stupid to me on here but I learned that these are people from the past who are in the past for a reason even though they can’t seem to accept it….
So in a better mood and mindset…

Ever have days when you see your life flash before your eyes with “What if’s” and how your life could have been if somethings wouldn’t have happened or wouldn’t be happening?

I have days like that, especially seeing on how much my life has changed over the past three years…

Before three years ago, I had a plan for everything School, Family, my future, love, friends and over all my entire life.

I guess I figured that as long as I stuck to the plan nothing could ever go wrong. I didn’t think I ever gave love or friends a reason to hurt and betray me. I never thought I could posably hurt anyone I loved with all my life. I never believed my mom would be hit with this ugly cancer “I mean there is no way right after all the things we have been through “Not us” right?” I figured things can’t ever get worse for me right? and my plans with my education did not go as planned either.

I tought I had it all figured out from never moving back home to when I would have all my degrees and jobs by to when I would start my future with a family and kids and a just “Oh so wonderful life” I truly had it all figured out, but I was partly wrong…

I guess I have learned that anything really CAN happen. That people will hurt you and that its natural to screw things up because we are all human. I learned that god will test your faith and throw off your path to see if you keep pushing to find your way.

Now dont think I’ve lost my focus… unlike others my dreams are still the same. I still want to end up in forensic psychology. My goal is to get into the criminal field as soon as possible and Im still pushing for degrees all the way till my PH.D, I still more then anything want a family of my own and a wonderful husband to share that with. I still believe in loving till death and getting married at church someday because I found my teammate and partner in crime not for any other reason. I believe in the mac to my cheese and that nothing will ever separate what we represent. And I still like always pray for all of those around me and that god allows my family and I to share a long and beautiful life together before death knocks at our doors.

and Im okay because I know that no matter what has happened if your patient everything will fall into place…

I mean yes its human nature to always wonder “What if?” I had or hadnt done that or said this or that instead…

However if your reading this and you can relate just remember…

Even when it seems like you see the end of a road it really isnt. EVERYTHING truly does happen for a reason, and whats ment to be will happen no matter what.

So, take it easy on yourself (I know its hard trust me) Take it easy on the past, dont dwell and wish it all the best, my favorite thing to say to the past and all bad is… “82 kisses and many good wishes”. Dont try to make sense of it all because it probably will NEVER make sense anyway, dont allow it to stay because the past can haunt like a ghost if you allow it.

You just have to relax, live by the moment and try to enjoy the ride. Let go of everything internally and put it in gods hands (or who/whatever you believe in)

And finally what I seem to find really hard to do but I know will help me and anyone else…

Let go of the need to evaluate and analyse everything that has happened or will happen in your life!

Sending you peaceful vibes;
Kbeautifulmind

Anything rushed has a chance of failure…

I threw a surprise babyshower for my sister yesterday and to my experience it all worked out and looked wonderful!:)
After the party was over and we finished cleaning up my family and I along with my uncle and auntie and other family members sat around just hanging out.
My uncles wife said to me..
“Wow Kelsey this was the nicest shower Ive ever been to, you really have an eye for creativity when is it your turn?”
Of course I burst out in laughter that I almost spit out the water I was drinking…
and I said to her…
“Anything rushed has a chance of failure, my boyfriend and I have only been together for a year and a half, you dont truly know someone at a year and a half and starting a life together right now would be stupid…”
Well everyones ears went up and my uncle said “Your grandma got married at 15 years old had 16 of us and only loved one man and was with one man till the day he died… your 23, in mexico people would be wondering whats wrong with you?”
I just laughed and said “well maybe I’m a weird tio” and ended the conversation there…
Talking to them would be setting myself up for a head ache and annoyance because they are so old school its either that or ignorant (no offense I still love them all)
Now don’t get me wrong I’m not saying that all people that get married young or have kids at a young age are setting them selves up for failure but what I am saying is that you shouldn’t have to rush into anything thats real when its real it just happens and it will stay that way no matter what happeneds.
When love is true it lives in your heart forever no matter what…

“Rushing to live for the now instead of looking to live for forever” is the mistake many people in todays generation are making…

And thats why divorce has increased to the extream in this decade…

Although Im so excited for my soon to come niece, my sister can vouch for me that when she told me she was pregnant I flipped, and her and her boyfriend have been together for over 5 years now but I still believed they should have waited.

You see I believe that LOVE is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have known each other for a quarter of a century. However Im not stating that I’m going to wait a quarter of a century to have kids or get married but I am going to make sure before I take any of these steps that the love I have with me is a gift not a need. I’m going to make sure that Im getting married or having kids with the person that I’m with for all the right reasons, not for money or benefits, or to rush into it because I want to get married and have a big pretty wedding, and definetly not because Im trying to fill in a hole that is empty and is telling my body that there is something missing.
And Im definetly not going to rush and have kids because I want to be a “young” mom or rush into getting married because Im getting “old”

You see I came from a family with a single mom, my dad left when I was five and my step dad was around for many years but that also fell apart.

My mom didnt know my father for more than 2 years before they decided to conceive me and although her and my step dad dated for a long time because of his job he was never really around for her to really get to know him…

I want my life to take a diffrent path, I want my kids to know their father and I want to get home to a husband I can kiss who after all the kids and years passed I could still be in-love with and be happy with.
I dont want to be unhappy sleeping in a separate bed before our 25 year anniversary and I dont want to be sharing custody and arguing who has the kids next weekend.

I know that waiting doesn’t guarantee success in marriage or motherhood, however I believe that to know the hole beautiful story a book has to tell you must read every single chapter and page. Therefore same goes with relationships you have to be apart of different chapters in someone’s life to see how they act and grow in order to write your own book of that story…

Wishing all the best in every chapter;
Kbeautifulmind

Just keep Swimming

As many of you may know my mother has Cancer, Lung Cancer Stage 4.
Although all we have heard is its not curable we can only try pro long her life, something in me doesn’t settle for these answers and something in her doesn’t settle either shes a fighting warrior and will continue to fight till the end.
Since my mom was diagnosed I’ve done my research from reading stories, about other treatments, to EVERYTHING I’ve dedicated alot of my time to this disease and I guess trying to understand it and find some answers.

When I found out about how long your hair had to be to donate it and where I could send it in, I also came across a story about this beautiful girl by the name of Talia.
Talia was a young girl that at the age of about 8 years old was diagnosed with Cancer.
What the hell do you even know at age 8?
I mean your suppose to be playing outside, wearing your moms heels and lip sticks not laying in a bed fighting for your life!
This young girl was something else, she was strong, and just different from other young girls. Talia forgot the fact that she was sick, forgot the fact that she was bald and pushed through fighting for 6 years straight in the best mood she could ever be. She inspiring young girls and all people around the world to see the true beauty of life. She said she will not let this bring her down or let her be depressed because a little fish once told her to “Just keep swimming”
She called her self “The Bald Girl” and inspired people by showing her true beauty as one of gods angels. She did make up tutorials on YouTube, She was a host on Ellen’s Show and was also an inspiring face for the cover on “Cover Girl”
This morning at only age 13 at 11:22am Talia earned her wings. God decided she was good to go and took his angel with him to watch over the rest of us down here.

I’ll never understand this disease, but what I do understand now is god picks his warrior who he knows could handle what he is giving them and Talia was just another warrior in this world…
R.I.P TaliaJoy

and remember everyone no matter what your going through…

“Just keep Swimming”♥

Kbeautifulmind

Can Guys and Girls be Best Friends?

Now I don’t fully agree that “Guys and Girls cant Be Bestfriends”
But I do believe that if this is your situation you first must know “HOW” to be a Best Friend to someone of the opposite sex…
Now it doesn’t have to do with jealousy or insecurity and people who disagree with this theory will like to say it does…
But you see the thing is that I just believe in a level of respect when it comes to being in a committed relationship no matter the situation….
Somethings you dont allow, you dont do, some lines you dont cross and some shit just doesn’t slide…

Let me set the scene…
It’s Friday afternoon my boyfriend is working so I am free for the evening. I give my bestfriend a call and we head out for some shopping at the mall. I’m looking into buying a new dress so I need help deciding which one looks good. I cant seem to zip up one of my dresses so I call my bestfriend into my fitting room to help me zip it up. My bestfriend zips up my dress getting a full preview of my lace rather sexy underwear and my bare back. We then share some ice cream and head back to my place for dinner, wine and a late night talk.

Now the scenario above is probably typical for two girls, I mean where else did the “sleep over” idea come from?
However imagine if my bestfriend was a guy? A heterosexual guy. Doesn’t seem quite so normal now does it?

I mean if I was single then we’d just look like a couple but again it says Im in a relationship so wouldnt I be crossing some boundaries?
I mean what if one of my boyfriend’s friends is at the mall and sees us sharing that ice cream?
or even worse…
My boyfriends sister and mom are also shopping and see another guy zipping up my dress?
How would that make me look? How would that make my bestfriend look? How can this jeopardize my relationship? Or my friendship?
And this is where my question comes in, Can guys and girls be best friends? If so how?

Well you see I have plenty of guy friends one in particular is like my best friend. And many of my guy friends have girlfriends, this including my bestfriend Andrew.
So what does my friendship consist of and what do I do to not cross the line of respect to him and our relationships?

First of we have met the others partners, we text once in a while saying hello and seeing how the other is doing…
and no this dosnt mean “Hey Sexy I miss you bestfriend, How have you been?”
If we hang out we will grab a bite or coffee and just catch up, we dont go on date nights or text late telling each other how much fun we had getting drunk together…
And if we ever have or would go bar hoping or clubbing we would make it a group thing and tell the other to invite the girlfriend/boyfriend.
I never text him saying “I wish you were here”, “I miss you, come feed me and you can rub my belly.”

We not only value and respect our friendship and each other but we also value and respect our significant others.

All Im stating is that unless your inlove with your bestfriend or want your friendship to end in total awkwardness….
There is just some lines you don’t cross, you should know your boundaries and level of respect.
Be the bestfriend their boyfriend/girlfriend loves not the one she/he sees as a chump.
And if your the bestfriend in the relationship and find yourself wanting to spend more time with your bestfriend then your singnificant other then maybe you need to check your feelings ASAP.

Because in my opinion, no good can come from having a very close bestfriend of the opposite sex with no boundaries. It can lead to jealousy, awkwardness, heart aches, or even infidelity.
And if your reading this saying “This is not true, it is totally different with my best friend and I”
and you guys have no boundaries then chances are their significant other already doesn’t like you…
and I suggest you get it together, or start thinking long and hard on why you are bestfriends because it could be that one of you or both of you are kidding yourselves.

Kbeautiful♥mind.

People plan, and God laughs