Category: Inspiration through my personal life

Stop walking in darkness

I have always known I was very fortune to have been raised by a woman like my mom.
I know most of us love our mom’s or dad’s and in our eyes they are the best parents anyone could ever ask for.
But I don’t like to sit here and just state I had the best mom in the world.
I can honestly say that God gave me the best mom in the world for ME.
You see my mom was truly a warrior. Her way of thinking and living life is something that not only has made a positive difference in my life but has also maid a positive difference in the life of others.
She was the kind of person that told it like it is but not to be some “rude” person who says
“That looks ugly on you” just because she dislikes you or has envy for you.
She didn’t speak ignorance, she always kept the other persons feelings in mind and did what she could to truly help them.
She spoke from the heart, she always wanted what was best for those around her and was definitely the perfect friend to have who believed in you despite what you had done or didn’t do.
She lived life with such a positive mind set that she has inspired me and many of those who were lucky enough to be a part of her life to do the same.

I can truly sit here and say I (Kelsey) got super lucky to have been fortunate to be the daughter of that woman because who I am is truly something I couldn’t have been with out her by my side.

From her I have learned to love and see the good in everyone.
To help other’s even if they don’t appreciate it.
To believe in myself no matter what.
But most of all…
She taught me the true meaning of life, something that some people take years to figure out or that unfortunately never figure it out.

Over the past couple of years I wasn’t technically myself anymore. I became very bitter and negative twords life and the plans of God. I’d victimized myself and with negativity I’d ask the same questions over and over again…
“Why me?
What did I do to deserve this?”
I was truly lost and for a while really believed god was being unfair.
Now that my mom is gone and I have still been through a couple of hard times in this life, I am proud to say I am finding myself again. I have decided to stop walking in the darkness and even though she isn’t physically here, I KNOW she is walking me through it.

I have reviewed my life and have decided to focus on what matters.
I now have rediscovered what I have always known.
I know my value, I know my worth and I see my fortunes.
I now wake up happier, and so gratful to be breathing, to be healthy and with the motivation to keep pushing to only get healthier and become happier.

Therefore I write this personal post to give you all some adivse just like my mom would have told anyone in need of it.

The secret to this thing we call life is to find it in yourself to see the good in everything. What you “think” may be something tragic is truly just what you need for your life to progress and become something even better.
What may seem like a bad day, is just a little bump on the road to prepare you for the good to come. Remember that you must stop walking in darkness if you desire to walk in the light. Be gratful and stay humble, appreciate what you have and strive for better because it’s what you need not just what you want. Do what you love and walk in your path of life with your dreams and happiness in mind. See the good in all of your hard times, and get what you can out of them as you use it all to better yourself and your life.

Wishing everyone a wonderful weekend,
-Kbeautifulmind

Help yourself as you help other’s

Today’s society makes the simplicity of life a bit hard. It takes away from the important things in life and can truly take a tole on how to be a honest, loving, generous, humbled and good person.
Society has changed so much that everyone is trying too hard to be something their not instead of being them selves.

The truth is that it’s impossible for all of us to be the same.
Some of us are emotionally stronger then others.
Some have kinder hearts and are more humble, sympathetic, and giving.
Some of us are emotionally unstable that dealing with life is truly a challange.
Some of us are not confident, or we don’t know how to express ourselves that we live our lives lying trying to be something we are not.
We live our lives lying to others thinking we are doing them a favor not realizing we are only hurting ourselves.
And some people are just so ignorant and horrible that we see nothing wrong with the bad we do.

Unfortunately not all of our characteristics are always good and sadly some people will never find it in themselves to change, however some of us can take responsibility and better ourselves so that we don’t allow these people to affect our lives.

I personally am a big believer of fair chances, I give everyone that strolls through my life a fair chance by believing in them, trusting them and trying to see the good in them.
I’ve had people tell me that this is why people walk all over me but the truth is that I think we all have good within ourselves so I believe in others.
We just need to find it and approach it.
Some of us may make mistakes and if no one is believing in us then how are we suppose to see that we need to change our ways?

So what’s my point?

Well… (Sorry as you can tell I am a rambler)

My point is that weather we are trying to change our selves for the better or want to help someone else get better we must understand a couple of things…

1. Self responsibility.
2. Be open minded.
3. Accept our wrongs and the wrongs of other’s.
4. Don’t judge them or ourselves
5. Find a solution.

Self responsibility:

Self responsibility comes with in ourselves and no one else. If we want to change and better ourselves from something we have done or from how we use to be and view things then we must be responsible. We can sit here and blame others for how we are or what we have done but not only is this not true, it won’t get us anywhere.
This view on life doesn’t fix anything it only puts us in this unreal fantasy as we try to convince ourselves that we are good people or we have done right even though we KNOW we are not being the best US.

No matter the reasoning if you’re stuck in this situation you must get out of it.
Weather you KNOW in your heart and soul that you are correct you must be an adult. Realize that what is done is done and take it as a learning experience to better yourself. Take responsibility for what YOU can change and stop blaiming others.

Open minded:
This mostly pertains to those of you trying to help someone else.

Of course there comes a point where you realize that some people will never change and in those cases you just have to let them be and let them learn on their own.
But sometimes all a person needs is someone who can be open minded and who can believe in the potential that is with in them.
As for yourselves, it all depends on how you look at life.
Is the glass half full or half empty?
If you’re open minded and move forward with a positive mindset then that’s how you will accommodate positive change in your life.

Accept our wrongs and the wrongs of others:

Let’s start with you.
Have you done something you know wasn’t right?
Did you hurt someone and there is no way you can take it back now?

First off, it’s not the end of the world!
Second you are human and sometimes we make mistakes but it’s up to you how you move forward with it.
Accept your wrongs, learn from it so you won’t do it again and move forward. Ask for forgiveness even if it’s just out loud in your own presence and live. If you don’t forgive yourself or accept it, you are allowing it to haunt you for a long time or even the rest of your life.

Now, sometimes in this life we are so kind to other’s and those people hurt us, back stab us, take advantage of us, walk all over us, unappreciate us, and break our hearts.
Sadly this is all a part of life, it’s a pain that we are all going to feel at one point. It’s a painful situation in your life that scars you and truly leaves a mark and sometimes you never get the closure or apology you desire.
So what do you do?
Well dwelling or pouting for the rest of your life isn’t an option, so…
Accept the wrongs of those people, take a deep breath and tell yourself
“I forgive them”,
learn something from the experience, and move forward to find the happiness you deserve.
Don’t, I repeat DON’T let this hurt, anger, and sadness take over you!
Holding on to the pain will only hurt you and holding a grudge or hating someone takes up more energy then you need to use on someone or something that shouldn’t matter. 

Don’t judge them or ourselves:

Remember the saying don’t point the finger if the thumb is pointing back at you?

Well, like I said before we are all humans.
Don’t be ignorant to the mistakes of other’s by judging them because you don’t know what it’s like to be in their shoe’s and if you did you wouldn’t want to be judged either.
When we as human beings make mistakes we tend to already feel guilty or shameful for what we have done, therefor you judging them doesn’t make things any better.
Plus you’re not perfect so treat other’s like you hope to be treated if you were ever in their shoes.

Find a solution:

If your trying to help someone then be the friend they need and honestly say the words they need, or find the resources they need to better them selves and become the good people they want to be.

Now remember you can say you’re sorry a million times but that doesn’t mean you truly are unless you show it.
You can also lead a horse to the water but you can’t make him drink it.
So if you want to change then actually do it!
Don’t just say your sorry, BE sorry for all your wrongs, learn from them and don’t do it again.

Wishing everyone a beautiful journey to becoming a better YOU or making a difference into the life of other’s,

-kbeautifulmind

“I don’t know how you do it?”
 “How can you be okay after all you’ve been through?”

I do it because no one else is going to do it for me. Because if I desire happiness, if I desire peace in my heart and love I have to find it with in myself.

I’m okay because I have accepted life for what it is. Because I see the beauty in life and I’m grateful for being a live and for the chance god has gave me to breathe again. I’m okay simply because I still have the ability to dream, desire, want and feel.

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger and you can’t truly breathe love and happiness with out inhaling hurt and disappointment along with a little bit of chaos.

-kbeautifulmind

Pain…

It’s Friday night and well most of my friend’s are in some kind of relationship, so if they are with their significant others I pretty much have nothing to do… lol.

There for I’m sitting on my little red couch, watching “The Fault in our Stars” knowing I’m going to cry but eeeehhh what the hell right?

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As I sit here and watch this movie with that sappy feeling in my body because of such cute romance between these two young kids who through cancer have learned to live and enjoy every minute of life even if they are not always happy or even if it is not always easy.
I began to think about the first time I fell in love, and the second time I fell in love and all the beautiful moments and promises made and I can’t help but smile at the memories.

I think about love and I can’t help but wonder…

“If love works the way they say it does and we all get a soul mate and our other half’s are out there somewhere, then it actually must be worth it in the end, right?”

What exactly?

Well the pain, if pain is meant to be felt then it has to be worth something right?
Pain, according to the dictionary…
pain
pān/Submit
noun
1.
physical suffering or discomfort caused by illness or injury.
“she’s in great pain”
synonyms: suffering, agony, torture, torment, discomfort More
ache, aching, soreness, throb, throbbing, sting, stinging, twinge, shooting pain, stab, pang, cramps;
discomfort, irritation, tenderness
mental suffering or distress.
“the pain of loss”
synonyms: sorrow, grief, heartache, heartbreak, sadness, unhappiness, distress, desolation, misery, wretchedness, despair; More
informal
an annoying or tedious person or thing.
noun: pain in the neck; plural noun: pains in the neck
“she’s a pain”
2.
careful effort; great care or trouble.
“she took pains to see that everyone ate well”
synonyms: care, effort, bother, trouble
“he took great pains to hide his feelings”
verb
verb: pain; 3rd person present: pains; past tense: pained; past participle: pained; gerund or present participle: paining
1.
cause mental or physical pain to.
“it pains me to say this”
synonyms: hurt, cause pain, be painful, be sore, be tender, ache, throb, sting, twinge, cause discomfort; More

So that is pain, it’s something that just hurts weather it’s physical, emotional, or just plain makes no sense and you don’t know where it’s coming from it’s just something that hurts but we all have to try and learn to live with it.

So let me ask you again…
If pain is meant to be felt with the chance that something beautiful will come out of it in the end or at the chance you took to experience something beautiful that brought you pain later then it just HAS to be worth it, right?

Well of course it is…
I say it is!

I mean I’m just a twenty-four year old gal who sits at home on her red couch on a Friday night watching sappy movies that she knows are going to make her cry a waterfall…

But I am also a gal that has been through alot and as a personal victim of a cancer scare myself and someone who lived a hard childhood with bull shit after bull shit and then lost her Best Friend to Cancer it’s self…

I say the pain is totally worth it!
I say that who cares if your heart gets broken again and again and again, and yes death might take some people before you and make you experience the worst pain of them all, and yes other life situations might even add more to the pain but it’s totally worth it.

It’s worth the memories, it’s worth the laughs, it’s worth the meaningful hugs, the long lasting kisses, it’s worth the moments that feel like the whole world has stopped in that moment of happiness, its worth the beautiful pictures we take of all these moments and it’s definitely worth that moment when love takes over your body and soul and gives you those butterflies that make the pain of life go away, even if it’s not forever.

Pain is meant to be felt, and you sadly don’t get to choose if you get hurt in this world but in the end it’s truly worth it.
It’s painful but worthy because it was the end of something that was once so beautiful and meaningful to YOU.

Okay?
-Kbeautifulmind

I learned that it would never be the same…

As they told me you were there, in the same place we were in, I was shocked by how calm I felt with no desire to throw up and run free.
I thought that when this day would come, I’d freak out and not know what to do, but as I looked into your eyes I no longer saw what I use to.
The dreams that I desired, the love I reserved for you, all of it was gone there was just nothing there for you.
I didn’t feel like crying, there was no knots in my throat, my heart didn’t feel heavy you’d think all this hurt was super old.
My anger towards you was gone and my disappointment seemed so far, there was no spark or love, I looked once more but in confusion I realized there was nothing there to find.
I tried to remember the way you kissed but my body and mind would not react as they once did.
It seemed as if my mouth and mind were wipped clean of all the memories.
I couldn’t remember your laugh or what it was that attracted me to you, I guess all I really felt was disgust to think that I once belonged to you.
When you approched me with a hug I thought I’d feel something for sure but it was almost like I went numb and the touch of your arm was as dry as the crackers on the counter next to you.
I walked away in shock that you’d even bother to approch me in that way, but I couldn’t help but smirk at the pleasure of feeling nothing that I felt before that day.
It that moment I took a deep breath, feeling relived as I said “I forgave him, this is really it”
I learned then as I sat there with my friend, that today I had really learned something…
I learned the wonderful feeling that it would never be the same.

-Kbeautifulmind

November is…

November is Lung Cancer Awarness month.

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No, it’s not pink or sexy. It doesn’t involve boobs or football players, cute t-shirts or catch phrases, and definetly doesn’t sell millions of dollars of merchandise with it’s propaganda.
It’s about being grateful that you or your loved ones can breathe with out a struggle.
It’s about knowing you don’t need to go to chemotherapy once a week, followed my radiation on the same week knowing that this “might” only prolong your life by a couple of months.
It’s about not having to live like you are dying, for a lung cancer victim knows there is nothing that can kill this disease in their body.
It’s about being thankful that you can do almost ANYTHING you want because you don’t have to take things slow since just a couple of steps don’t make you short of breath.
It’s about being able to enhale and exhale without feeling all this liquid in your lungs choking you up.
It’s about appreciating the fact that you can sleep peacefully without fearing that you might not wake up the next morning.
It’s about being grateful that you do not have the number one killing cancer with in women and men today.
It’s about knowing that you are not a victim of this killer disease with only a 40% chance of living up to four years after being diagnosed.
It’s about being aware of how serious this disease is in our society today.
Because…
November is Lung Cancer Awarness Month.
In loving Memory of…

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               Maricela Arellano Lopez
               07/12/1967- 04/22/2014

I miss you momma,
Kbeautifulmind

Breathe…

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I never knew the importance of character behind a person till I experienced a couple of dissapointments, realize some mistakes I made, lost a couple of valuable people, was unappreciated by others and over all just grew up.
I mean how many of you actually do? Honestly.
What is usually the first thing you look for in a significant other?
For example when your eyes are wondering and honestly looking to be attracted?
It usually sounds something like this…
“He has to have…. a nice body, a cute smile, he has to be funny…”
or…
“She has to be in great shape, has to have a cute smile, boobs/ass is a plus and must have a great personality”

I mean honestly you don’t look at the average girl/guy at the club or the coffee shop and think holly cow check him/her out. You don’t look deep into their souls and wonder what struggles they could be dealing with. Some people do but for the most part society has made us look for the Brad Pitt or Beyonce look alike…
That invisible person that almost never exists…
Either way, our first glance at someone usually makes us react like this…
“DAM! Did you see her?”
“Holly cow! He is so cute!”
Sometimes leaving us almost breathless from their physic without knowing what’s underneath.
You don’t know the person, their personality, their abilities, their mind set, their way of thinking or their heart…
You usually don’t learn about that till a while after and the issue sometimes is that hearts change, people change and the way people think changes too…
So how could you deal with so much change of persona or character?
If your at my level yet, you’ve now realize what you truly want and what’s important.
Maybe it’s because you’ve had a couple nightmares, or life has really chewed you up and spit you back out.
Whatever it is, you have learned that you no longer look up to short breath taking experiences. You now look into taking someone else’s breath away consecutively as you’re reminding them to breathe. You look for someone that can do the same for you that makes you feel like no matter what your covered.
Why?
Because we need to breathe to live right? Life is going to always be in action ready to surprise you, kick you, chew you and spit you back out.
Life is going to test you, make you happy, make you mad, make you sad, bring you laughter and heart breaks.
And things will always be changing as times flys, you’ll be changing and they will be changing too, but neither of you will ever stop breathing. (at least not until you leave this earth)
And…
As independent as you are, you’ll someday realize you still need someone. We all need someone to have our back, to stick around, and to make you feel the comfort you need so that you can have confidence in also sticking around yourself. Because if not then you find yourself running away in fear leaving your heart behind with them. (and trust me when I say, leaving your heart behind sucks because it’s so hard to find yourself and get it back.)
You’ll realize you need someone to breathe not because you can’t breathe without them but because it’s nice to have them there to remind you to breathe when you seem to forget.
Feeling grateful;
Kbeautifulmind

Dear God

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Dear God,
Her all time favorite color is pink, she wears it with anything. She really loves her soccer, just remember there is no other team like Mexico for her. She love’s roses, those are her favorite flowers. She loves her novelas, I hope you have T.V up there? She needs to have some chocolate at least every once in a while because her sweet tooth is rediculous. I also hope heaven has coconut because she can’t live with out her coconut popsicles. She makes a delicious aros con leche! I wish I would have got that recipe!? She really loves the holidays, every single one! Especially Easter which is probably why she went to heaven around that time… Along with holiday’s comes all her yummy cooking and those delicious Tamales! Just provide her with a big kitchen and she’ll get to it!
She’s a sucker for romance, especially romantic music. She loves Los Rieleros Del Norte, please make sure their songs are always playing. Now that we mentioned playing, do you believe in gaming? She’s obsessed with Candy Crush, you have to let her play it!
She suffered so much pain down here that all she deserves up there is happiness. She always lived with a strong faith in you, I hope you know she never lost it, because she really loves you.
God…
I’m sure you know it has been 6 month’s since you took her from me and I just want to ask that you please make sure she’s happy.
I pray all her worries and pain are gone.
Oh god, I really, really hope she’s happy, because her happiness is the only thing that keeps me sane since missing someone so special can cause you to go insane.
Tell her that I love her so much and that life here is not the same. Ask her if she’s proud of me and if I’m doing things the right way?
Sincerely;
Your broken child, missing her mother.
Kbeautifulmind