Sorry was not enough

I heard once that getting the truth is the only way to feel relieved.

I use to believe that because I was able to discover the truth and confront you about it, I had won.

I tried to always convince myself that your “sorry’s” actually meant something.

I believed that if I heard it come out of your mouth, if you begged me to stay, if you cried, I had won.

Even after you broke my heart, I thought that all I needed was an apology to move on and forget the pain.

I didn’t realize that I needed to accept who you were to truly move on.

I didn’t realize that by accepting those weak apologizes, I was only encouraging your bad behavior.

I didn’t realize that I was only making excuses for you, because I was afraid to be alone.

I didn’t realize that I needed to love myself again and see my worth to truly move on.

Until I actually did it.

So listen when I tell you…

Sorry is not enough…

Sorry couldn’t change the fact that my eyes had seen the pictures, the text messages, and the betrayal.

The damage was done, and things were never going to change no matter how good I was to you.

Being the perfect girlfriend never stopped you.

Being your best friend never stopped you.

Encouraging you never stopped you.

Listening to you never stopped you.

Believing in you never stopped you.

Making you laugh never stopped you.

Loving you right and being “The best you’ve ever had,” never stopped you.

Therefor,

forgiving you every time…

accepting your apologies every time…

accepting the flowers and the gifts…

sweeping it under the rug and putting on a smile…

was never going to stop you.

I know now how foolish I was for competing with them, yet my fractured heart always cried with hope that this time you’d prove me wrong.

I forgive you.

I’m finally letting you go.

I’m finally letting you rest in peace.

Just do me favor…

that gal, the one that made it worth walking away from the one who fought so much to keep you…

treat her better.

-Kbeautifulmind

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