Man oh man oh man!
It had been a long time since I last wrote, please forgive me and believe me I been wanting to! However working two jobs and going to school as well as trying to get back in shape with everything can really be a handful!
Ever since the Doctors “discovered” my mothers cancer I feel like my life is on a fast train, so much to do and so little time. However I can say I been able to manage it pretty well…
My mom in the other hand is tired everything hurts but although she says she’s tired her mind, body and soul show otherwise…
She’s just so beautiful and strong I sometimes don’t understand how she does it. The chemo gives her all kinds of pain from her toes to her finger tips and chest, she feels tired and gets head aches at times too and not to forget her lost of appetite but if you saw her in person you could never tell! She looks strong and fearless she is always pushing her self to eat and stay active as well as pray and have a positive mind set. I admit I admire her and sometimes I wonder if I could ever be as strong as her? For I am different Im always worried, stressing and my heart still hasn’t heeled from some of the pain Ive suffered in life.
The doctor told us this last chemo was going to be the last one but apparently there might need to be one more…
Does that make me sad? Yes.
Does that make her sad? No.
She just says she’s tired of all the back and forth and the endless waiting and the hours of sitting there… But she told me “It is what it is” and although I don’t really like that saying she’s totally right!
Life is what it is, just like needing to wake up early and be at work all day one job after another, wanting to go to school for a better future as well as needing to do the homework that comes with it and on top of it all dealing with having to witness my moms pain as well as feeling pain of my own after everything Ive dealt with. Either way like she says “It is what it is” so I take all Ive been through, and all Im going through and I mix it in a bowl and call it strength. Then everyday I remind myself that all of these obstacles and situations are a part of life and life “is what it is” so you can let them bring you down or allow them to make you stronger.
Thanks for reading!