The challenge of life…

Weather you believe in god or not…

Sometimes life starts throwing these punches at you, and you can’t help but look up and go… “Why!? Why me!? Can you give me a break!?”

Everyone starts saying things like…

“You are going to be okay.”

“Everything will work it’s self out.”

“God only gives you what you can handle.”

and my favorite one…

“You must continue to be positive and have faith.”

The challenge of life isn’t necessarily over coming the obstacles, it’s more of believing you can.

In a moment of receiving bad news, it’s a bit hard to “be positive and have faith.”

In a moment of losing something or someone, you can’t even imagine “everything is going to be okay.”

In a moment of being knocked on your ass with a problem that seems to not have a solution, you don’t assume that “everything will work itself out.”


In a moment when it seems like life is just picking on you…

and it’s one bad news…

followed by another bad news…

and you can’t seem to understand…

or, find the answers you are looking for…

it feels as if God or life is out to get you and you can’t seem to understand “WHY!?”


You definetly are not thinking…

“God only gives you what you can handle.”

You see, the challenge in life isn’t over coming the obstacle.

It’s believing that the odds will be in your favor, and that you can actually do it.

Specifically when it seems as if life has been out to get you, your entire LIFE.

My word of advise for all of you and myself…

If we are blessed to continue to see another day, we will be alright.



If I could…

If I could go back in time, I’d tell you No.
I’d tell you, I am too young.
I’d tell you, your children are horrible, ungrateful kids, and they don’t deserve me to sacrifice my time and life to take care of them.
I’d tell you, I’m tired.
I’d tell you, I feel stuck, like there is no way out of this hell.
I’d tell you, I feel alone.
I’d tell you, I’m sorry but I can’t make you this promise.
I’d tell you, I’m sorry but this is not the life I want to live.
I’d tell you to find someone else.

Hospital sleep overs


I find it really funny that I cant seem to wake up for the gym at 5am but Ive been up since 4:30 this morning…
Someone get me a big bed please!
I’m actually really really tired I can feel it but my brain is telling me “no more sleep for you missy!”
Man oh man are Hospitals so uncomfortable to sleep in. My moms still asleep and although she has her bed to herself she looks uncomfortable too.
She claims to be feeling a little better her face expression seems to say other wise.
Today is her offical birthday and I much rather have took her out for a manicure and pedicure and some lunch….
Maybe I can just give her a pedi myself when she gets out of here if we ever do…
I understand this place is busy but I find it so annoying when they been promising us a doctor since yesterday at 6pm and her doctor is “unavailable” so that doesn’t help…
All I want today is…
1. For her to feel better
2. For the doctor to hurry up
3. To be able to know whats going on and what is our next step
4. To take her home with a positive vibe and good hope
5. To be able to celebrate her for a bit even if its just a small cake and some flowers and balloons
6. To see her smile at least once today

Sitting here waiting for the man in the white coat…