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Hello Dear WordPress Followers,

I’d to take this moment to thank you all for reading my work, for being fans of what I write and believe in since I created my blog.

I’d also like to address that I’m working on writing more this year, expanding my words to touch more lives, and to share that I have some new and fun exciting project ideas on the way!

I’ve decided to create a “Professional Instagram” page, were I’d like to expose my poetry, quotes, short stories, advise through my knowledge, and display my soon to come videos or audio recordings!

I hope you all will follow and join me in this exciting journey!

Instagram: Kbeautifulmind__ (those are two _ _ )

Thanks y’all! I’m excited!

XO,

Kbeautifulmind

She was drowning, and no one knew it. 

Everyone was cheering her on…

“You can do it!” 

“You got this!” 

“You’re so strong!” 

“We are so proud!” 

“You’re doing such a great a job!” 

But no one knew, no one knew she didn’t know how to swim. 

-Kbeautifulmind 

They say…

It’s been a couple of hard weeks for me. Since Easter morning I’ve been riding in a emotional roller coaster. They say time heals all wounds, but does it? 

To an extend we sure do hope it’s true, when you want to forget about something or someone. 

You break up with a significant other, lose a friend, or go through a traumatic event and as time passes it’s like “Oh, this is nice. I’m better.” 

Specially if they did something shitty to you then it’s like, “Wow! This is great, I can’t believe I was crying when it happened.” 

The memories slowly disappear and that person once again means nothing to you. 
But, when you lose someone you really love to death, time can be very dreadful. 

Losing my mother was hard, and it’s gotten easier to deal with but I don’t know if I could ever see the wound healing. 
My mom hated taking pictures, she was very shy and reserved and would just rather not be the center of attention. 

So, time passing with her being gone can be so scary. You feel like maybe you’ll forget them. Their isn’t no updated pictures, no more silly voice mails or text messages. You start feeling like you might be forgetting what their hugs, kisses, and voice felt or sounded like. You still remember them but it’s now at random and they still feel like they are there but it’s only sometimes… So you try. 

You try to pray to them, talk to them, and at night you even think about them with hope that they will visit you in your dreams. You even have moments where you think, “I’ve always been scared to see your spirit but it sure would be nice if this could happen now!” Just so you can get one more look at them, one more conversation, one more listen to their laugh. 

Letting go of someone who wasn’t good for you makes time passing a blessing. However, needing to accept that someone is gone that you weren’t ready to let go of is so dreadful. 

I miss her like crazy! 

I wish she was here to see all the shitty things that are happening and also all the awesome things that are happening. 

I miss her hugs and her hands running through my hair, when I asked her to help me get rid of me “head aches.” 

I miss her silly jokes and her wonderful words of advise with everything from school and life to even friendship and romance. 

I know she’s with me, but I could really use her presence in my life again. 

It’s just not the same since she’s left, and I think that no matter how much times passes, nothing could ever heal or fill that void I have in my heart. 

-Kbeautifulmind 

The challenge in life is not just to fall, falling indeed is very scary.
Falling in love, falling into failure, falling out of control of your own self and emotions, falling into stress, and even falling into comfort and happiness.
Falling is definetly intimidating and challenging, but to rise every time you fall is where the real challenge is.

You must over come it, you must rememeber your value, how far you have come, what you deserve, what is worth it and allow yourself to fall only to rise again.
-Kbeautifulmind

Consumed

No one understands what it’s like to let yourself be consumed by a relationship because you love them, until you have experienced it.
Remember, yes you may love them (boyfriend/girlfriend/friends/AND specially FAMILY) but don’t ever lose yourself over love.
If it is unhealthy, if they don’t care like you do, if they don’t appreciate you, respect you, and love you like you deserve… it’s time to throw in the towel and call it quits.
I know it’s hard, we were taught to never be quitters, BUT sometimes it’s your life over their needs.
And staying somewhere, where you are miserable, unhealthy, abusing substances (yes food is a substance), is just you slowly committing succide over the the happiness of others.
It just ISN’T worth it.
-Kbeautifulmind

Oh Cancer how I hate you, your giving me white hairs…

image

Hospitals Hospitals are so creepy.
Its Friday afternoon and its my moms fake Birthday technically her Birthday is tomorrow but once upon a time she had a sister who was born today a year before her and died. When my mom was born my grandma made the decision to give her the same name so when she came to the United States my mom brought with her the wrong birth certificate… I know weird right?
But anyways thats all in the processed of getting fixed but her birthday is really tomorrow.
Im waiting for results on my moms cat scan and X rays, and I came to the bathroom and I have 3 white hairs, oh god did that make me feel old… but I know its the stress…
Last night my mom was having alot of chest pain and got really sick “looking” on me, I began to worry but she said to wait it out so we did…
I couldn’t sleep just keeping an eye on her and making sure she was okay…
I began to think again how unfair this was, Why does a 46 year old lady who worked hard her whole life deserve to have it end like this? I mean Im not saying anyone deserves this sickness but you would think that some people deserve a easy path after all the hard ones they have encountered right?
Sometimes I get frustrated I know I shouldn’t question god or why he does the things he does but sometimes I just wish I could understand or get a little sign that everything is going to be okay…
Really dont know how to feel right now except for the fact that Im kind of annoyed I had to call out of work because we need any money we can get. Im annoyed she couldnt start her chemotherapy this morning and Im annoyed how long it takes to wait for all this stuff…
But then again I’m glad to now be spending her fake birthday with her even if its in this cold hospital.

Just a little venting,

Kbeautifulmind