Addiction

I lust for your touch, that wonderful feeling of your hands squeezing my bottom and that magical thrust.
Everybody has an addiction, my happens to be you.
I don’t want it to be over, and as soon as your done I’m feening for more.
I want you available only for me, If I lose your love I don’t think rehab could even cure me.
You got your guards up, I do too.
But give me a chance and let me grow with you.
There’s things we might discover, things we will both like, things that will make us both realize there was nothing to be afraid of.
Cause you got a past and I do too, so we know what we want and what we don’t want to occur.
We’re perfect for each other, I hope you’ve noticed too.
Because your my addiction, and I don’t want to lose you.
-Kbeautifulmind

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Day One of our Goodbye

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A year ago today began our goodbye.
I rememeber walking in at exactly 9:15pm after coming home from a long day at church, hoping to find her awake and feeling better.
That morning she watched me get dressed as I changed into a long green skirt and one of my favorite white tops. Like always I asked her “Do I look beautiful or what?” And she just gave me a gentle smile…
I knew something was wrong and I wanted nothing but to stay by her side.
Everyone insisted I’d go, that she just needed rest. But non of them had been to every doctor appointment and spoke to every doctor like I had.
I knew something wasn’t right, I felt it, but I kissed her and went anyway.
When I got back that night, I had high hopes, but I knew I was wrong the minute I saw my room filled with nurses.
I took my shoes off and sat next to her, as I watched her sleep so deeply.
The nurse asked “Kelsey can I speak to you in the living room for a minute?”
and that’s when she told me…
A year ago tonight began our goodbye as the nurse said that her body was beginning to shut down and she could go any day now.
I knew this was coming, the doctors had warned us about three weeks ago. Yet I had hopes there would be more time, they said it could be up to a year.
For the rest of the night, and following two days… I rarely left her side, I didn’t eat, and I might have showered once (Im honestly not sure)
A year later I still feel all of it.
The pain, the confusion, the fear, and the frustration as I watched her sleep away, knowing I would never hear her voice tell me with sarcasm…
“No Kelsey te ves muy fea…”

-Kbeautifulmind

Reality slaps me in the face more and more everyday

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From the high gas prices, to the two classes I scored for fall semester, and even the life crisis that surround us as I get older I begin to realize that life can get hard and that as time passes by we are no longer the kids we once were. I remember being in high school and saying to myself at times “I cant wait till I’m 18 and can move out” “I cant wait till I go to college and get a degree to be making more money”. However one phrase I remember the most is… ” Life will be so much easier when I’m older and have self control of my own life”. That time is here and I have come to realize that life is nothing what I thought it would be, time has made me realize that turning 18 years old is not “becoming an adult”. We do not grow until we hit our mid twenties and life does not take affect on us until our minds begin to mature and we come to conclusion that we have always had self control of our lives. We just need to want to succeed and improve our way of living. For some less than others life after high school has been a piece of cake and for us others it has been a way of opening our eyes to realize that nothing ever goes as planned, and that the obstacles that life throws at us are just there to test our faith to see how much we truly believe in our dreams and desires. Everything we deal with as we age from financial issues, to family issues, to mid life crisis, and things not going as planned are just situations that test our faith to see how much we can handle and how far are we willing to go to accomplish what we want the most. I’ve come to realize that life may not be a big paradise dream and I know that as I get older I will continue to come across obstacles that may make me feel like I will never accomplish my goals. However, the key to life or at least from my perspective is to continue to push and never give up; always remember you have self control of your own destiny.

Continue to enjoy the life you have been privilege to live.

-kbeautifulmind