When I was ten years old my mother and I started a personal new years eve tradition.
I got the idea from a show, I had seen some episode where a lady wrote a letter to her future self every year on her birthday.
I figured it be something we can do together, so my mom and I chose New Years Eve.
Along with the red underwear, and the money under the shoe; My mom and I added a third tradition to our list.
We began by reading our letter we wrote the last New Year’s Eve a couple days before.
We gave each other a couple of days to reflect, then on New Year’s Eve we wrote a new one Titling it “Open in (enter new year here)”
I knew where my mom kept hers last year so I had to open both hers and mines right before 2015 rang in.
My mom like always was such a positive soul, as she hoped that the new year didn’t bring her death.
Unfortunately, it did not workout that way. God needed another angel and her work here on earth was done.
I read both of our letters and continued my tradition on my own.
A couple of days ago I read my letter where I held my New Year resolutions, words of advise, and a couple of “To-do’s” and “Not to-do’s.”
One of my favorites were:
“Let other’s speak”
I tend to get excited when I am having a interesting conversation and I cut people off (not on purpose though.)
“Be careful who you trust”
I tend to have the issue of trusting just anyone and can sometimes put myself in danger do to this but, that has definitely changed.
“Don’t give up on love, continue to believe in it but don’t be an idiot either.”
That last one was funny!
I tend to have such a naive heart at times. I always want to see the good in everyone.
Anyway, I found to discover that I achieved almost all of my New Year resolutions, I followed most of my words of advise and for the most part most of my to-do’s and not to-do’s. But, most importantly I lived this year. I discovered myself, I enjoyed the moments, and I learned to accept and let go when I had no control over the situation.
I’m really excited to see how much I have accomplished and will be accomplishing in 2016.
My blog has also succeeded tremendously and I’d like to thank all my readers and supporters for that!
Thank you all!
It’s Friday after noon and I just called my mom to see how she was doing?
She is a bit better today, her back no longer hurts but she can barely walk, because the pain on the leg is still very strong.
We got a hold of the doctor after we left the hospital and clearly I was right (read my last post) the doctor at emergency over exaggerated a bit. I mean he wasn’t lying, yes cancer in the bone eventually eats up at the bones causing them to collapse. However my mom isn’t quiet there yet. The doctor said her cancer had not grown or moved compared to the last scan he did and that as long as we acted on it we can buy her some time.
Our next issue is the Medi-Cal, my mom has been waiting for an approval for full coverage for over a year now and every time it gets denied….
“She make to “much money!”” they say….
Yet she has no income at all coming in right now… Does that make any sense?
Anyway, as of now my mom has a monthly deductible of 1000 for any medical care that’s not including her treatments and medication.
Therefor even though the doctor has suggested a treatment that can prolong her life and radiation to decrease the pain, we have to either wait or get about $6,000 together to get things started.
Well as you all may predict my mouth dropped as I shead tears knowing there was no way I could get $6,000. My mom told me to stop crying “things will work out for the best.” Even though I appreciate her strength and I am glad she is so positive, I knew in that moment things won’t fall into place any time soon. Unless I could get $6,000 soon. I knew there was no way I was going to win the lottery or meet some one super wealthy that wouldn’t mind just giving me 6,000 dollars and I knew I couldn’t save that money on top of all the bills I have to pay with the kind of money I make. So I decided to swallow my pride and start a fundraiser. Well its not exactly a fundraiser I guess, it’s more like another way of begging for money which is why I kept questioning it and why I’m keeping it from my mom.
So far I’ve raised 265 dollars just telling a small summary of our crazy life story and if this is going to help get my mom treated faster then so be it. I don’t care if she finds out and gets mad, I don’t care what other’s have to say, I need her here with me and the fact that I can’t make things better kills me inside every single day. Therefore I will do anything to get her that treatment, even if it’s considered begging.
I’m sorry mom that I am asking others for help but I’m not ready to give in to loosing you just yet and I still can’t handle all of this on my own.
For those of you interested in her status, I’ll keep you updated.
and if you care to donate or maybe even just want to share the link to help me spread the word….
Share this link on your social media pages and ask friends to share too! Let’s raise some money for my mommy! http://www.gofundme.com/6ezk9c
Until next time,
I like to greet all of you like if I have regular readers or something like that…
Ha ha I know its silly but everytime I get on here I imagine myself in a room sitting there and actually talking to a bunch of people or even a small audience…
I’m a weirdo, I know. Anyway it has been a very long time since I have wrote anything but to admit I’m always writing in my head its just hard to keep up with my blog on top of my busy life…
I just got out of work, I work two jobs and go to school full time. I work 6 days a week with one day off and that’s the day I’m in school ALL DAY. So as you may see Im a busy busy bee.
In all of that I manage to fit in a relationship with a great guy who also works full time and goes to school so he is very understanding 🙂
And I can’t forget about my amazing friends who are also busy bee’s and well I try my very BEST to fit them into my schedule too! They KNOW and also understand!
Anyway it’s nights like these where my feet hurt, my back aches and I had to work a hole other hour because I work with some lazy ass people who could careless if the work gets done, now they aren’t all like that but the ones that are make me just want to scream and say “Forget this s#&t!”
I’ve lost count of the days that I just want to throw everything on the floor & say “Forget work I can’t even stand these jobs 80 percent of the time, forget school and this degree that takes too long and forget everyone and everything! I’m done being nice, I’m done being the only one that plays by the rules and being little miss nice cinderella…”
Then god reminds me…
Its like some sort of will power takes over my body and tells me to “chill out!”
It tells me that my break is coming soon and one day I’ll be able to look back with pride and see that everything I have is not because anyone else handed it to me but because I (ME!) worked hard for it!
This thing, a very powerful thing that gets inside tells me to look around and see that I am alive, I have met my long life friends, Im loved truly and my momma is still by our side smiling, my family is united and healthy and have all gotten another chance at another day!”
That’s when I breath, I relax and take a minute to thank god for all I have for it might not be worth much to others but to me its worth everything…
So remember you may be tired today
(Shoot! IM SUPER tired!)
But tomorrow is another day that reminds you that if your lucky enough to have the chance and live it, your that much closer to your carriage, that much closer to the ball and the happy ending, to the days where all the hard work will pay off!
Little o’ miss nice cinderella;
“How much money can a person spend?”
My inspiration for this post have been many things from seeing how hard I work every day and how fast money can go, to all of the world wide issues we have today.
A couple of nights ago I sat at Starbucks as I watched the presidential debate and I began to wonder what life would be like if we were all equally financially balanced… What life would be like without so much greed?
The other day I ordered myself a pair of shoes I been wanting for a while now, they cost me $120.00 dollars which by the way only cost the makers about $3.00 to make. After my purchase I began to kick myself and say “This was not a NEED it was a WANT.” Later on I told myself… “Relax you have taken care of all of your responsibilities it was something you deserved!”
Then I began to think am I the only crazy one that thinks this way?
There are people everywhere that buy things just to feel better about themselves and feel more powerful…
Research has shown there are people all around the world that suffer of diseases like Bulimia, Anorexia, as well as Kleptomania due to the influences of the media and the Hollywood life style. Just like these diseases you have shopaholics and attention seekers who feel that the material things of life are what really matter. People have lost everything they once had because they did not know how to budget their money, others have also found the need to steel to get that “thing” they want. Last but not least Californian’s are breaking the law and cheating the government system of help to fulfill the desire of having nice things they cannot afford.
The truth is; “It’s not about the money it’s about the power”
People do not buy things because they can afford it; over half of California owes a lot of money to credit card companies. So you began to thing “Why would people want to be in so much dept?” The truth is it’s the power, that feeling that makes some one feel complete or happy to have things they cannot afford just to shove it in the faces of toughs less fortunate.
And with that said I leave you with this…
Stop trying to be something you’re not. Remember that looking like Nicki Minaj, Justin Bieber, or having the fine things that Kim Kardashian and her sisters have don’t make you a better you. What is life if you’re trying to live your life in the shadows of others? When you try to live your life like someone else you hide your true colors and the beauty of who you really are and what you represent. The material things will never bring you happiness, after all when you die you take nothing with you so why not live life for what you truly are?
Do things for you, be grateful for your health and the people that are still by your side. Live life for its true beauty and be glad for the chance of making it through another day in this planet. Do not forget where you come from and remember no matter how much money you have or what you can and cannot afford, always ask yourself “Is this a want for me or for everyone else?”
Thank you for reading;