Everything stops when I’m with him.
We can be surrounded by a crowed, standing in the middle of all the commotion.
The ladies can have their eyes on him, the men may have their eyes on me…
yet, we can’t take our eyes off each other.
Our eyes connect, and our souls recognize each other.
Everything stops when we are together, because together is what feels right.
-Kbeautifulmind
I use to think that women who believed they felt butterflies on the first date were idiots, or just silly girls who didn’t date enough…
But you were different, I remember coming home thinking…
“This guy is special! Brought to me from some where? By some one?”
To make me believe again…
To make me feel again…
I use to think that women who believed they felt butterflies on the first date were idiots…
I guess I was one of those idiots.
-Kbeautifulmind
I dreamed of you last night.
It felt so real; your touch, your voice, your smell.
I didn’t want to wake up…
I missed it all so much.
-Kbeautifulmind
Los días pasan, y pasan.
Y yo sigo así.
Y trato, y trato de aceptarlo.
Pero, yo sigo así.
-Kbeautifulmind
Tonight I received another “critic”
One of my readers asked me…
“Why are you so bitter about your last relationship?
I understand cheating is wrong, but do you ever think that maybe he just didn’t love you anymore?”
I don’t want to sound mean but, you really need to move on and let him be happy!”
Now I wasn’t going to respond to this, because obviously my “reader” is not a big fan of my writing…
But, eh why not?
So…
I’d like to start by defending myself a little and state that I have moved on.
I am very proud to say that I have taken it into my own hands and forgave him for all of the pain he caused me.
To tell you the truth, I’ve never been happier. Honest to god!
However, I understand why my post about infidelity make me seem “bitter.”
So let me address it for you.
I am not bitter, and the pain I had felt was not because, he no longer “loves” me.
Also in my defense, I have never done anything to bother him, or hold him back from his happiness.
When I think of a cheater, I think of a student glancing at her/his notes under the desk very quickly because she can’t seem to remember the term she studied about for hours!
I think of a card player winning a game of Black Jack only because he counted the cards.
You see, this action that ruins relationships between two people who have promised a commitment to each other isn’t “cheating.”
This action is more like…
Lying, betrayal, disrespect, abuse, broken, murder, selfishness, and of course weakness.
So, my dear reader…
The pain I or ANYONE has felt after being “Cheated” on isn’t a reaction of “not wanting to move on” OR not accepting that maybe he “just didn’t love me anymore.”
If I am being honest, I think I’ll never know if he actually loved me.
I know he loved the idea of me?
I just don’t believe you can intentionally hurt someone when you love them.
You don’t kill the persons trust for you when you love someone.
When you truly LOVE, you don’t intentionally hurt the person in the same way more than once.
As I was saying…
Cheating is so painful because it makes the one being cheated on feel like they were at fault.
You see…
You fall in love with someone who could never and has never loved you back.
You make excuses, you defend, and you protect this person.
You FIGHT with all your might to try to convince not only those around you but, YOURSELF that he/she is better than how they are representing themselves.
You fight for the good you see in them, until the ugly over powers you and smacks you down on your ass.
Then…
You feel like an idiot.
You feel stupid, low, ashamed, and embarrassed.
You begin to regret all the chances you gave them, and start asking yourself… ‘What were you thinking?”
You are left there to pick up the pieces up on your own.
It ends up being all on you to accept the apology you might never receive, to forgive someone who doesn’t need your forgiveness, and to forget.
Now, I don’t mean forget as in forget about the person… because once you’ve seen how bad they are for you, that is not so hard.
But, forget as in forget all the fight you gave, only to lose.
I never thought of myself as a woman who makes bad choices…
So, when I was left alone to accept that this time around I had…
I guess it tends to make you a bit “bitter” so you say.
So to answer your question…
“I am not “bitter” about getting “cheated” on, I am disappointed I fought for something that wasn’t worth fighting for and that is what my posts are about.
-Kbeautfiulmind
I want to love you, like you deserve.
Be that person in your life who inspires you, and makes you better.
I want to love you, because you deserve it.
-Kbeautifulmind
I still laugh at the day it happened.
So much cowardly in one phone call.
Promising me that with time we would meet again, that someday our love would continue.
I rememeber laughing that day as you stated your pathetic promise of “we will meet again,” as you used it to justify your decision to throw it all away.
What you didn’t rememeber is what kind of woman you had been with, what kind of woman you had known for over so many years…
I already knew you and what you were capable of.
I knew everything you did to the girl before me,
and I knew what you had done to me.
I already knew about her.
I knew I was being replaced.
Yet I played along and said,
“Yeah, maybe we will. The world is round for a reason right?”
I still laugh at the day it happened, because even though I listened…
I was praying our paths would never cross again.
-Kbeautifulmind
*Old piece I never posted:)
No pair of words are necessary, the gestures reside it all.
No uttered words could ever prove the love someone has for you.
Yet, we always seem to fall for the words one speaks.
That three word magical phrase could really build up someones hopes and dreams.
-Kbeautifulmind
We said goodbye, see you around, agreed on building a friendship someday,
some how…
I try not to think about you, but it ain’t working…
I’m trying to put out this fire, but it’s still burning.
Just when I thought moving on was getting closer…
I miss you.
I thought I didn’t need your presence, but I do.
I thought I had no feelings, but they’re there.
I thought I’d be just fine, but I’m not.
I miss you.
I’m trying to burn down the memories, but they aren’t dying.
Just when I thought moving on was getting closer.
I miss you.
-Kbeautifulmind
This piece was inspired my the country song “I’m coming over” – Chris Young
To be able to write about the pain, is more than others can do.
Most people can’t ever speak of it, or face it again.
They lose touch, or emotion towards what happened.
They grow silent, bitter, angry…
and no one can seem to understand why?
They bury it.
To write of the pain, and speak of the hate you feel…
It’s brave…
and a *privilege not many are blessed with.
-Kbeautifulmind
Kbeautifulmind 