As I think about my graduation slowly creeping up…
A part of me is excited and I can’t wait, and the other part of me is sad and just wants to get it over with.
To be honest, I’ve been super sad.
I wish my madresita linda could be there for me.
I know, I know… “She’ll be there in spirit!” “She gets the best view!” “She’ll be celebrating from up above!”
As you can see, I’ve heard them all, and I know these are all very true…
But, she won’t be there in physical form.
I can’t actually celebrate with her.
I can’t hug her, kiss her, squeeze her, scream with her, laugh with her, or even take a picture with her.
I can’t hear her saying, “I am so proud of you!”
I can’t, and knowing that just makes me miss her and want her there even more.
This special moment in my life and many others to come will just have to be “sad and happy.”
No matter how much time passes, they will always be bitter sweet.
During this entire emotional roller coaster I’ve been going through since April, one emotion I been sure about since day one is my “pride.”
I am so f&*%en proud!
I am proud that I am finally finishing. I am proud that I am receiving one of three degrees I need to follow my ultimate dream.
I am proud that I over came so much.
I am proud that I did it!
I did it, even after life kicking me to the grown on my ass, I did it.
After heartbreaks, illnesses, tears, cancer, death, grieving, family drama, stress, loss of sleep, hard work, more stress, and at times thinking I couldn’t…
I did it!
and even made honor role, yup you guys read right.
While running a household and dealing with so much more than I could handle sometimes… I made the honor role at, California State University of Dominguez Hills.
How can someone not be proud of these accomplishments?
However, being proud of myself is only a portion of it.
I am proud of my mother.
Mi madresita linda, que tanto lucho y se esfuerzo.
La que llego de indocumentada.
La que lucho, fue fuerte, y nunca se rajo.
and like she said…
“Sufri, pase hambres, y humillaciones. Llore, y asta me quise regresar por que estaba de arrimada. Pero aqui me quede. Y la vida me fregaba, pero yo segui adelante.”
“Asi es que, recuerden me con honor, y pongan se las pilas! Siempre hagan el esfuerzo de seguir adelante. No dejen que nada ni nadien se les ponga en el camino.”
Therefore, she is who I am most proud of.
I am proud of her and honored to have been the daughter of an immigrant guerrera (warrior)!
Anticipating my graduation,