1,2,3,4… 30

Thump…

That’s all she heard, she raised her sleepy head, and suddenly a rush of blood flew quick through her veins and her entire body.

She can hear his name being called through his phone, “_______, are you okay?”

Call the police she yelled to the receiver hoping she’d hear, “Call the police!”

“What did you take?” she screamed, “what did you take?”

He couldn’t understand her. Not anymore than she could understand him.

She screamed, as she dropped the phone. The conversation she was having hung from her thigh with the voice of another “friend,” that, had she listened, was telling her what was wrong with him.

“Oh god, what the fuck did you take! Oh god, oh god, oh god!”

“Help! Somebody help me!” Her voice cracked, as she screamed to the top of her lungs.”

“My brother, my brother, something is wrong with my brother…” she said into the receiver of her phone.

She hung up the phone, and then dialed 9-1-1

Time didn’t stop, but, it moved very slow.

She could see the room spinning…

“Get yourself together K, you have to save him!” she yelled mentally.

She could barely make up her words, she tried to tell the dispatcher something serious was wrong…

The dispatcher had heard her, “I know mam, we just received a call, police is on the way, can you confirm the address…”

“east… yeah east”

“Mam, we need you to calm down please, he is most likely having a seizure.”

“He isn’t breathing! He isn’t breathing! He is purple! His lips, his face, he’s purple!”

She drops the phone…

“CPR! I know CPR, Iv’e known CPR since I was 15…”

“What is the count? What is the fucken count!?”

“Oh god, Oh god, Moooooommmmm pllllleeassseeee!”

push 1, push 2, push 3, push 4, push 5, push 6, push 7, push 8, push 9, push 10, push 11, push 12, push 13, push 14, push 15…

Tilt, Blow. Blow.

“No! It’s fucken 30!” she yelled, mentally.

“What the fuck did you take? Moooommmmm!”

Push 1, push 2, push 3, push 4, push 5, push 6, push 7, push 8, push 9, push 10, push 11…

tears running down her face, she can not believe this is happening…

“Why would this happen?,” she thought.

“No way is he going like this…” she mumbled mentally.

“Mom, I freaken need you, pleaseee!”

Push 12, push 13, push 14, push 15, push 16, push 17, push 18, push 19, push 20, push 21, push 22, push 23, push 24, push 25, push 26, push 27, push 28, push 29, push 30

Tilt, BLOW and… BLOW.

GASP, he rises and tries to lean forward.

Siiggghhhh, “Thank you mom,” she whispered as her tears fell into her mouth.

“No, no, no don’t move please, don’t move…” she told him…

She ran out and yelled, “Help! Someone one please help me!”

Flash lights coming through, police walked up, walked in, and took over.

She was cold, and at the same time sweaty.

She was scared, and at the same time proud.

She was worried.

“Can you hug me?,” she asked as she stood outside with someone.

“Can you please just hug me very tight?”

Heart beating fast, breathing oh, so, difficult.

Anxiety expanding and spreading through her body.

Body felt like collapsing…

Officer, “Are you the mother? Can I speak to you? What happen?”

1,2,3,4,5 … breathe.

-Kbeautfiulmind

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…and it’s just not fair.

I still miss you, and it’s not fair.
I have men asking me out, blowing up my phone, dms, even trying to make me fall…
yet your face always comes to mind.
I’ve loved people more then I’ve even liked you, yet I don’t miss them.
Before you, I had lost hope.
I had shut down.
I was in the dark.
You had turned on the light for me.
You made me feel like I was hole again.
With you…
I felt alive.
I felt free.
I felt worthy.
I felt comfortable to be me.
I felt like you understood me.
I still miss you, and it’s just not fair.
-Kbeautifulmind

It wasn’t the rose

image

It wasn’t the sand, the hugs, the rose, or the small talk that made me still smell the ocean from that night.
It was the way we rushed into each other with such deep craving.
The way he kissed me deeply, making me feel desired and missed.
It was the way he lifted my dress slowly making me shake with excitment with every touch of his finger tips.
It was the way he entered me for the first time, fueling my hunger I had for his touch.
It was the way both of our hearts rushed and our throats gasped for air.
It was that erotic, explosive way he made love to me, that still makes my stomach drop everytime I go back to that night.

-Kbeautifulmind

Love and relationships are like a race…

Love and relationships are like a race. We train so hard, sometimes we fall, we give it our all, and we build them up to where we want them to be. After all the hard work some of us win the golden metal and the hard work pays off, and sometimes someone else gets the metal and your hard work becomes someone else’s victory. Sometimes that’s what makes us build that grudge because it’s a bit unfair that someone else gets the metal, but we shouldn’t allow it to make us bitter.
Why?
Because no matter what happened we learned and therefore we also win and even though it seems like it, our hard work wasn’t unnoticed and someday our metal will be even better then any of the metals we didn’t get.”
-Kbeautifulmind