Tag: friendship

My concept behind the value of relationships

When I was younger, I did not believe in 2nd chances.
The minute you crossed me or disrespected me…

1. I’d cut you off
2. You became the enemy
3. If you really pissed me off, I was probably trying to kick your ass. (I was crazy and lacked of maturity)

So many around me didn’t understand my concept, I even had someone once make fun and call me a “homie hopper.”

Then with time my concept changed a bit, if you are farely NEW in getting to know me I use the 3 strike rule…

Its simple…
3 strikes you’re out!

If you’re pass the 3 year mark, you don’t get 3 strikes, you go back to the first method ☝ (Don’t worry, I retired from fighting, I now have karma handle my light weight.)

Anyway till this day my concept doesnt make sense to a lot of people, I had a friend tonight ask me…

“Why? Why do you go about relationships this way?”
And well this was my answer.

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If I let you into my life and allow you to know me, it’s a privilege.
God didn’t choose you for me, or else we’d share blood and I’d call you family.
Instead I call you friend or lover because God put you in my path, but I chose that you could stay.
Therefor I voluntarily decided to allow myself to trust you, open up to you, show you and share with you who I am, and let you in with out any boundaries.
I have let you see me naked(If you’re a lover emotionally and physically), inside and out.
If you’ve been around for years and our involvement has increased, so have my expectations and the value I give you.
If all of a sudden you decide to betray me, hurt me, cheat me, or lie to me.
Don’t expect forgiveness or for me to understand why you did it.
In my eyes and beliefs, there is no excuse and or reason good enough that you can give me that will make any sense.
Seeing that you know me so well by now and what I represent, yet you still didn’t care enough to consider my feelings, only shows me my worth and what I actually mean to you.

-Kbeautifulmind

-Kbeautifulmind

Root of Origin

“Why did you start your blog? Is that still why you blog, or has your site gone in a different direction than you’d planned?”

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I’d have to say my starting point for my blog was to be a sholder for someone to cry on, a friend to listen, or over all just someone to vent to for anyone who came across my blog.
After all they say its easier for most people to let out steem or express them selves to a total stranger then to someone close to them.

Why?

Well you see I feel its because its your inner voice saying “If you dont know them therefor what they think of you doesn’t matter”

I mean think about it most of us are watching what we say, do, wear, or how we appear to others because we are afraid of judgment or negative feedback.

I personally feel “Who Cares” if they truly care and understand they will listen and have your back and if they judge you or criticize then maybe they shouldn’t matter to you as much as they do right?

Well anyways that was the idea of my blog a “helping” hand but…

Then I realized that the truth was that I needed to let some steem off myself, I needed some one to read and just nod like they get it even if they didn’t and not say anything at all. To be completely honest I have to say I love to listen and give advise and be your friend but for the most part I dont like advise myself! I just want someone to listen and thats it… ironic I know (sigh)

Anyways then in late November 2012 my mom got diagnosed with Lung Cancer and I just wanted to tell my story.  My new purpose of my blog was to vent and just share with everyone what I was going through because I knew that someone out there had to be going through this too; They had to be! And if I could connect with someone and help them as I help myself; That was good enough for me.

So I don’t know if my blog has gone on a different direction then I planned or if my purpose was always the same but what I do know is my blog is a page where I’d like for anyone to go on it and say “Finally someone who understands me!” and for them to know that if they need me Im only an email away!

and that my friends is the only reason I need to continue to write!♥

Sending happy thoughts your way;
Kbeautifulmind

Inspired by: The daily prompt

Take it easy on yourself!

 “When all goes bad, and you think it’ll never get better just remember; Everything happens for a reason, and It will all get better in time.”- unknown

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Hello readers!:)
My blog before this was going to be a very nasty(mean) reply to some idiot who decided it was funny to say something stupid to me on here but I learned that these are people from the past who are in the past for a reason even though they can’t seem to accept it….
So in a better mood and mindset…

Ever have days when you see your life flash before your eyes with “What if’s”  and how your life could have been if somethings wouldn’t have happened or wouldn’t be happening?

I have days like that, especially seeing on how much my life has changed over the past three years…

Before three years ago, I had a plan for everything School, Family, my future, love, friends and over all my entire life.

I guess I figured that as long as I stuck to the plan nothing could ever go wrong. I didn’t think I ever gave love or friends a reason to hurt and betray me. I never thought I could posably hurt anyone I loved with all my life. I never believed my mom would be hit with this ugly cancer “I mean there is no way right after all the things we have been through “Not us” right?” I figured things can’t ever get worse for me right? and my plans with my education did not go as planned either.

I tought I had it all figured out from never moving back home to when I would have all my degrees and jobs by to when I would start my future with a family and kids and a just “Oh so wonderful life” I truly had it all figured out, but I was partly wrong…

I guess I have learned that anything really CAN happen. That people will hurt you and that its natural to screw things up because we are all human. I learned that god will test your faith and throw off your path to see if you keep pushing to find your way.

Now dont think I’ve lost my focus… unlike others my dreams are still the same. I still want to end up in forensic psychology. My goal is to get into the criminal field as soon as possible and Im still pushing for degrees all the way till my PH.D, I still more then anything want a family of my own and a wonderful husband to share that with. I still believe in loving till death and getting married at church someday because I found my teammate and partner in crime not for any other reason. I believe in the mac to my cheese and that nothing will ever separate what we represent. And I still like always pray for all of those around me and that god allows my family and I to share a long and beautiful life together before death knocks at our doors.

and Im okay because I know that no matter what has happened if your patient everything will fall into place…

I mean yes its human nature to always wonder “What if?” I had or hadnt done that or said this or that instead…

However if your reading this and you can relate just remember…

Even when it seems like you see the end of a road it really isnt. EVERYTHING truly does happen for a reason, and whats ment to be will happen no matter what.

So, take it easy on yourself (I know its hard trust me) Take it easy on the past, dont dwell and wish it all the best, my favorite thing to say to the past and all bad is… “82 kisses and many good wishes”. Dont try to make sense of it all because it probably will NEVER make sense anyway, dont allow it to stay because the past can haunt like a ghost if you allow it.

You just have to relax, live by the moment and try to enjoy the ride.  Let go of everything internally and put it in gods hands (or who/whatever you believe in)

And finally what I seem to find really hard to do but I know will help me and anyone else…

Let go of the need to evaluate and analyse everything that has happened or will happen in your life!

Sending you peaceful vibes;
Kbeautifulmind

Can Guys and Girls be Best Friends?

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Now I don’t fully agree that “Guys and Girls cant Be Bestfriends”
But I do believe that if this is your situation you first must know “HOW” to be a Best Friend to someone of the opposite sex…
Now it doesn’t have to do with jealousy or insecurity and people who disagree with this theory will like to say it does…
But you see the thing is that I just believe in a level of respect when it comes to being in a committed relationship no matter the situation….
Somethings you dont allow, you dont do, some lines you dont cross and some shit just doesn’t slide…

Let me set the scene…
It’s Friday afternoon my boyfriend is working so I am free for the evening. I give my bestfriend a call and we head out for some shopping at the mall. I’m looking into buying a new dress so I need help deciding which one looks good. I cant seem to zip up one of my dresses so I call my bestfriend into my fitting room to help me zip it up. My bestfriend zips up my dress getting a full preview of my lace rather sexy underwear and my bare back. We then share some ice cream and head back to my place for dinner, wine and a late night talk.

Now the scenario above is probably typical for two girls, I mean where else did the “sleep over” idea come from?
However imagine if my bestfriend was a guy? A heterosexual guy. Doesn’t seem quite so normal now does it?

I mean if I was single then we’d just look like a couple but again it says Im in a relationship so wouldnt I be crossing some boundaries?
I mean what if one of my boyfriend’s friends is at the mall and sees us sharing that ice cream?
or even worse…
My boyfriends sister and mom are also shopping and see another guy zipping up my dress?
How would that make me look? How would that make my bestfriend look? How can this jeopardize my relationship? Or my friendship?
And this is where my question comes in, Can guys and girls be best friends? If so how?

Well you see I have plenty of guy friends one in particular is like my best friend. And many of my guy friends have girlfriends, this including my bestfriend Andrew.
So what does my friendship consist of and what do I do to not cross the line of respect to him and our relationships?

First of we have met the others partners, we text once in a while saying hello and seeing how the other is doing…
and no this dosnt mean “Hey Sexy I miss you bestfriend, How have you been?”
If we hang out we will grab a bite or coffee and just catch up, we dont go on date nights or text late telling each other how much fun we had getting drunk together…
And if we ever have or would go bar hoping or clubbing we would make it a group thing and tell the other to invite the girlfriend/boyfriend.
I never text him saying “I wish you were here”, “I miss you, come feed me and you can rub my belly.”

We not only value and respect our friendship and each other but we also value and respect our significant others.

All Im stating is that unless your inlove with your bestfriend or want your friendship to end in total awkwardness….
There is just some lines you don’t cross, you should know your boundaries and level of respect.
Be the bestfriend their boyfriend/girlfriend loves not the one she/he sees as a chump.
And if your the bestfriend in the relationship and find yourself wanting to spend more time with your bestfriend then your singnificant other then maybe you need to check your feelings ASAP.

Because in my opinion, no good can come from having a very close bestfriend of the opposite sex with no boundaries.  It can lead to jealousy, awkwardness, heart aches, or even infidelity.
And if your reading this saying “This is not true, it is totally different with my best friend and I”
and you guys have no boundaries then chances are their significant other already doesn’t like you…
and I suggest you get it together, or start thinking long and hard on why you are bestfriends because it could be that one of you or both of you are kidding yourselves.

Kbeautiful♥mind.

What truly matters

“You are beautiful no matter what they say”

I never been one to care for judgment, weather I was called ugly or fat, or pretty and sexy. The truth my appearance has always been more of a personal thing the only thing that I kept to myself. I can honestly say I get ready for me, and it is so personal that I even prefer to shop alone.

However I have my moments when I see girls that are thinner and that’s my weakness… ha ha.

“Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me”

I always thought this saying was very funny, however my feelings on this subject are mutual.

You see… If its someone that I don’t know or have any feelings for, well it doesn’t matter to me what they have to say I actually find it very funny and I cant help but laugh.

But when it comes to someone that I truly care about, someone who holds a piece of my heart no matter the circumstances anything can hurt my feelings. But I’ll admit Im so fast at brushing it off and moving forward.
A “wise” guy once told me I was a horrible person and a manipulator always trying to mold people to my own ways and so selfish that I would let go of some of the “BEST” friendships I could have ever had…
I actually let this get to me I was so sad I truly began to wonder if I was that bad of a person.
For a while I thought I really couldn’t keep friends since I no longer had a big “group” of oh so wonderful people by my side, and I thought of the people that were around for short terms and said maybe I did screw that up? But than one day it clicked…. I had met a girl who I thought would be my friend for a long time and she got upset and didn’t want to be my friend anymore because I couldn’t make it to an event do to work one night, that night I told myself “Oh god I really can’t keep friends can I?” And laughed it off because I didn’t realize I already have the best friends I could ever ask for. You see the wise guy was talking about a group of people who were never my friends, two quote on quote “good friends” One of them was a bit selfish and without realizing it used me to give her rides and to cover up for her while the hole time I just truly needed her to listen to me and support me. The other a true emotional reck who envied everything others had and accidentally called me with out knowing as she talked bad about me in the back ground ha ha yeah some friend! Now the hater who wanted my life/relationship is claiming to be “Best Friends” with this wise guy? Than as I left that life behind me than came the girl who ended up being a back stabbing big ol’ slut than came another girl who was mad because little old me had to work. But the best part of it all is that Ive had my good friends by my side all along a handful of people with class, strength, ambition to succeed and the ability to understand and know that we can no longer have sleep overs and talk on the phone about boys/girls and clothes all day and that sometimes we might go days or months with out talking but that no matter what our friendship is as true as the land we walk on everyday.
Today my mom said to me “You know hun I remember not so long ago you were an emotional reck in serious believe that god was punishing you do to stupid things in life that had no worth! And after we found out about my cancer I feel like you have really changed for the better at not allowing the smallest things bother you even if they are said by someone who owns your heart or is/was a big part of your life. You have always been this strong I just feel like you had lost it and I can truly say this is the strongest and most confident Ive ever seen you in a long time!”
The truth I have found to know that when friendships, relationships or just life it’s self falls upon you and tares you apart (so it seems) it doesn’t mean that your a “horrible” person it just means that your a picky person, someone who knows her/his value and what you deserve still going out of your way to giving the opportunity to people to change and if they don’t than let them free to do and be who they please.
I wouldn’t call that trying to mold people…
I could be wrong, but what I do know is that when you give your life, trust, and unconditional love to those people in your life and all you want is the same thing… It really isn’t that much to ask for, its actually what truly matters.
Thanks for reading;
Kbeautifulmind