I will not 

I will not allow anyone or anything make me feel sorry for the way I love. I love hard. 

I love sincerely. 

I love with all my heart. 

I love this way because I have lost. 

I love this way because I know we are not all here forever. 

I love this way because I am grateful. 

I will now allow anyone or anything make me feel sorry for the way I love. 

Because If I intimidate the relationships of others for the way I love myself, my friends, and family… 

Then it’s is completely obvious that I am not the one with a problem. 

-Kbeautifulmind 

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The letter…


I have a bucket list. A list with things I’d like to do and accomplish before I die. I’ve had this list since I was young and it’s slowly build up to a longer list as I have gotten older. One of the things on my list was to make a difference in a strangers life whom I’ve barely know. Today I can finally check that off my list. After my moms death I’ve received nothing but positive words from all my friends, family, and loved ones. They have seen me struggle, they have seen me cry, they have seen me laugh, and even scream. Therefore they constantly tell me how admiring my strength is and their words continue to be a blessing in my life when times get rough. However, they know me therefore it’s a little bit normal coming from them. 

Today I received a letter as I was leaving class this morning. This random girl came up to me and told me ” Hey! I know we don’t really know each other but, I know your mom’s anniversary just passed and I wanted to give you and your family a little something. There is a letter in the envelope and it explains it all.” I was definitely caught off guard, and I knew the class knew about my mother’s anniversary because the class is about “death and dying,” so my professor had asked me a while back ago to share my story with them. But when I open this letter, I was left speechless with what I was reading! 

The girl stated in the letter that she had been in my class two years ago when my mother passed away. She overheard me telling the professor what had happened and why I had missed class. She said she went home that night crying, she hugged her mother and told her how much she loved her and appreciated her. Since then she stated that throughout my two years at CSUDH I have been her motivation and inspiration. She told me she appreciated me, and in her words “You have changed my life.” There is so much more to the letter, but the point is I’ve accomplished something so beautiful. 

I’ve always had a passion for loving and helping others, I truly believe this is my purpose in this world. 

I love the field I’m studying, and I can’t wait to get out there and continue to do what I did for this random stranger. 

This letter left me with many emotions, it brought me to tears as I thought of my mom and all that has happened. But, it also brought a smile amongst my face as I realized what a difference I have made in the life of a total stranger without even realizing it. 

I truly believe that this is what life is about! These are the moments that make the bad times in life easier to deal with. This is what we are here for, to leave our mark and be remembered for the wonderful things that we did… Not just accomplished ourselves but also what we did for others. 

This is why I WRITE. 

This is why I let go of my privacy and share my life stories and thoughts, with so many people and total strangers. 

This is it, I believe that this is what I am here for. 🙌🏻😊 

-Kbeautifulmind 

Please

Please

If I go while you’re still here…
Please know that I live on,
Do not stand by my grave and weep,
Please do not wish it was you instead of me.
You will not see me, but you must have faith.
Celebrate my life, smile for I am in a better place.
I’ve now joined all those who went before me,
Please remember that and find peace.
Laugh with each other as you remember all the good times,
for there were so many good and bad moments we were blessed to live together.
Send me away with lots of love,
I want you all to be happy,
Please remember that we will someday reunite.
And when you need me until then,
Please just whisper my name in your heart,
… I will be there…
Until we meet again.
-Kbeautifulmind

 

This poem was written for my “Fake” Funeral program I had to make for a class project. However I love it and had to share so that my family can have it incase someday I really go.

No true friend will EVER

My first friendship betrayal happened my freshmen year in HS.
After that situation my mom gave me this talk as I cried in her lap…
I rememeber it because I wrote it down in my diary that night, and litterly made myself learn it.
I use to allow people to walk all over me.
Throughout highschool whenever anyone pulled some crap on me, I cut them right out of my life.
I didn’t care if I ended up alone, I just didn’t believe in dealing with these kind of people.
I didn’t find it worthy.

“No true friend will EVER talk about you.
No true friend will EVER spill out your secrets and anything that you’ve told them confidently.
No true friend will EVER disrespect you, or try to embarrass you in front of others.
No true friend will EVER be jealous of you, be envious of anything you have, or secretly wish that you don’t succeed.
A true friend however might just tell you like it is at times, or what you don’t wish to hear.
BUT never in a way where they be little you or make you feel worse than you might already feel.
Last but not least, always step back and observe the person, see what their intentions are and WHY they desire to be in your life.
Usually if you watch, you can see right through them.
If they do any of this and claim that it’s because they are your friend, those are not friends mija. They are people who stick around because they want to either be you, or are hoping to have the joy of watching you fail.”
-Maricela Lopez
Basically, no true friend will EVER betray you.

Thank you momma for being such a wonderful role model, mother and friend!
Thanks to you I learned to cherish and appreciate the good people I have in my life and I do my best to be as good to them as I can be.
I mean we are all human, we’ve said stupid things we regret, or have made the mistake of taking others for granted.
However, I believe that when the behavior repeats it’s self, you shouldn’t have to continue to allow those people to stay in your life.
Just like baseball, 1, 2, 3 strikes you’re out!
-Kbeautifulmind

Keep going.
The pain will pass.

I know it’s hard…
I know the tunnel seems long…
I know the tunnel is dark…
I know the tunnel makes you feel frightened…
I know it feels like you will never get to the other end…
I know it seems like the light is too far away…

But, keep going.
The pain will pass.
-Kbeautifulmind
image

One of the hardest things on this earth for me, is seeing people suffer.
I want to help EVERYONE.
I want to help all of those I love that are in pain.
I want to help strangers, when I come across them and see that they are in pain.
Shoot… I want to help the people I see on “TV” that are in pain.
But, I know that I can’t help everyone.
I can’t heel everyone.
But maybe, just maybe…
My words will encourage as many people as possible.
Hang in there ya’ll.
Whatever it is, even if it doesn’t seem like it…
It WILL pass.
As long as you don’t give up!