I want to be.

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I want to be the only one in the room to grab your attention. The one that shows up and makes the rest of these females irrelevant. I want to be your best friend, the only person who best understands your energy and needs. The one that means so much to you, that even when I’m not around you’ll live to respect and please. I want to be your smile, happiness and what makes you feel complete. I want to build a bond so strong that nothing in today’s society can ever break us up. I want us to have the honesty, respect and trust that people envy. I want to be the one you never get bored or tired of, and no matter what life throws at us, I want to be the one you’ll never give up on.

-Kbeautifulmind

Until we meet again

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Every time I smile,
Every time I cry,
I think of your face, and the thoughts escape my mind.
“What would it be like if you were still here, if we had won our battle and could now be stress free?”
You were my world,
Two parents in one,
My soft mom to cry with, and my tough dad to punish me when I was wrong.
My inspiration for my future, and the faith in my heart.
But now that you’ve left me, it can be so hard not to fall apart.
You were my best friend,
My one true role model in this life,
And that’s not all you were,
You were also my mom.
You were always my strength when I lost hope, therefor at times now I feel weak and alone.
You showed me right from wrong, and made sure I never lost my kind heart and always stayed humble.
And when times got hard, I knew I’d be okay because you gave me strength to hold and push on.
When I was afraid, you’d remind me that together we could face anything.
No one else could do what you’ve done for me.
I never imagined a day like this, where I’d have to live with out you and lose my team.
But if there is anyone I want to make proud, it’s you my dear mom.
So I’ll wipe off my tears and put on a smile, as I try to always remind myself you’re still here in my heart.

“Until we meet again” – Maricela Arellano Lopez

-Kbeautifulmind

Easter Morning…

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Easter morning and I wake up with chills, as I lay on the bed wishing you were here.
Easter has always been the holiday that brought you so much joy, because you loved the atmosphere there was in the world.
You always shared with me your thoughts and said…
“Today just seems to bring unity in families and you can’t help but feel blessed.”
Last year Easter was just so cold and blue, as it fell on the Sunday of April 20th only two days before twenthy two.
As you laid there on your death bed with the hospice nurse by your side, she told us to celebrate today like everything was fine.
But how could we enjoy the holiday you loved so much, if you were in pain no longer able to look at us or say much.
I remember just holding you as I tried not to cry, my body so tired with no sleep or food to give it life.
Easter Sunday last year was a day of unity and love, but filled with so much pain as we waited for god to take you in his arms.
I didn’t feel peace, nor did I feel blessed, as you’ve always made me feel in the past because I was losing my bestfriend.
Yet here I am almost a year later on Easter morning, laying in bed, listening to your favorite songs, and in between all the tears and the pain I some how feel blessed.
I guess it’s because, I can still feel your presence.

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-Kbeautifulmind

I miss you mommy.