“I’m so proud of you”

“Congratulations on all your great efforts and accomplishments… I’m so proud of you. I’ve always believed in you girls…”

“I am a changed man,” he said…
“I’d like to apologize for anything I might have said…
I’d like to apologize “if” at any time, I hurt you, girls…”

Oh shit, I am really reading this…
even after all these years you dare to say “If”?

“I am a changed man,” he said…

Oh, you changed? Is that suppose to mean something to me, is that what you’re saying?

Let me back track to my childhood for a bit…
Forget it, I’ve let that rest.

Let me back track to age fifteen… When I believed that “maybe” you deserved a chance…
Forget it, I’ve let that rest.

Let me back track to my freshmen year in college… “You’re dumb, you’ll never amount to anything… the day you die… I’m going to thank god for it.”
Forget it, I’ve forgiven you and also let that rest.

Let me back track to a couple years ago…

You said my mom deserved the sickness she was given, yet she was the one who raised us while she was living…
How does such a warrior deserve such sickness?
Even though I’ve accepted that was her journey, I still have moments when I can’t seem to understand or believe it.
Why is it that the one that did what was right, deserved to go, and the bastard that showed us nothing but hate and violence, deserved more?

And who made you the superior to speak such words?

With time I learned that your words were nothing but words, coming from an ill man who’s own childhood had brought him to this mindset of urge.
The urge to hurt those around him and destroy…
I feel sorry for you, I do. Yet, this is still not a good enough excuse.

So many times I wish you would have been there, and when I grew up I realize how blessed I was to not be so privileged.

Yet, here you are “proud and all” what an “honor”…
Do you really think somehow you deserve to be loved by your daughters?

Do you think you have the right to be proud of MY accomplishments?

“You guys are my only ones always forever?”

Only ones? 26 years later?

I think you must have forgotten, mom was the only one there, you were a no-show…
She worked to die, we never saw her…
But she had to be tough because you weren’t man enough.

Why don’t you do us both a favor and pretend we are dead too.

“I just want to tell you that no matter what happens, you guys will never be dead to me or will stop being my beautiful daughters. Because the day you two were born marks the day that you will forever be my daughters and I will wait forever with open arms…”

Ooohhh, now your arms are open?
I guess you didn’t know that your little girl would grow up to be so strong, so capable, so accomplished, or so admirable…

They say be careful with the things you say, because once you say them you can’t take them back.

Let me back track…
“You’re dumb, you’ll never amount to anything…”
Forget it, I’ve let it rest.

You say you’re proud?
Well, sit back, because I am just getting started.

-Kbeautifulmind

Todo lo que haces en tu vida le afecta a alguien y eso dependiendo de tus acciones. Inspiraras a algunos, decepcionarás a otros, y hasta le cambiarás la vida a muchos. La idea es vivir felizmente, de una manera cambiar el mundo, y dejar algo atrás en cual serás recordado/a. 
A veces el miedo de no saber cómo afectarás a otros, ó qué dirán de ti, te detiene.

Pero recuerda, la gente siempre tendrá algo que decir… 

si te tienen envidia, si tu existir les molesta, ó les afecta de alguna manera. Tal vez es porque algo estás haciendo ó algo hiciste correcto en tu existencia. 

-Kbeautifulmind 

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“Cherish every moment and memory as if when night strikes that will be the end, because beautiful things never last. Not roses nor snow, not friendships nor love, and not fireworks either… 

But the best memories in life are those unforgettable moments.”

Kbeautifulmind💋

I will not 

I will not allow anyone or anything make me feel sorry for the way I love. I love hard. 

I love sincerely. 

I love with all my heart. 

I love this way because I have lost. 

I love this way because I know we are not all here forever. 

I love this way because I am grateful. 

I will now allow anyone or anything make me feel sorry for the way I love. 

Because If I intimidate the relationships of others for the way I love myself, my friends, and family… 

Then it’s is completely obvious that I am not the one with a problem. 

-Kbeautifulmind 

Pep Talks 

Never feel sorry for being you. Even if your way of being intimidates others as long as you mean no harm and you are being the real you, then you’ve done nothing wrong.

Never apologize for being honest, true, appreciative, or loving. 

There is not that many people in this world with pure and kind hearts anymore. 

There is nothing to be ashamed of. 

Don’t change or filter your true self. 

No matter who you lose along the way, as long as your conscious is clear and your heart is pure… 

You won’t be the one losing. 

-Kbeautifulmind  

When my mom passed…

When my mother passed, my life began. My world came crashing down, and a piece of my heart died with her. 

However; her death was the beginning of a beautiful and perfectly imperfect new me. 

When my mother passed, I promised to love deeper. 

I promised to express my love for those I cared about, and appreciate them to my full potential. 

I promised to be grateful for the love and blessing friendships I was so lucky to have. 

I promised to appreciate the kindness and help of all of those that had showed me so much support. 

I promised to be good. 

I promised to do good. 

I promised that even though I knew I wasn’t perfect, I’d always try to be the best. 

I promised that I’d be a good person in this world but that when I wasn’t, I’d forgive myself and not play victim or be too hard on myself. 

When my mom died, my world came crashing down…

Only to rebuild itself to the world I’ve always wanted to live in. 

In this world I forgive, I hurt but I look at the bright side. 

I do my best to over come anything thrown my way, and I TRULY live and love the life I’m living. 

When my mom passed, my life began. 

-Kbeautiflmind 

Soul group

Sometimes you meet someone, and it’s clear that the two of you, on some level belong together. You belong to each other, and you were meant to cross paths. As lovers, or as friends, or as something entirely different. Whatever it is, there is a purpose for the two of you meeting. You just work together, you understand one another, or there is a flow of chemistry that draws you in that links you to each other. You meet these people throughout your life, out of nowhere, under the strangest circumstances, and they just have a way of making you feel alive. You don’t know their purpose yet, it can be good or bad… 

and that’s what makes it scary. 

But you just can’t stay away. 

You fall in love with them, they become someone meaningful and special to you, and through them you learn. 

These people are apart of your soul group. They are put in your life to have an impact in it, sometimes it’s bad and sometimes it’s good. They are put in your life to benefit you in some way, or to imprint something meaningful in your life that changes you for the better and helps you grow. 

Everyone of these individuals have an impact in your life, because they have a natural connection to your soul. 

I don’t know if I’d call this coincidence, fate, or sheer blind luck, but I sure do know it means something. 

They mean something. Appreciate the moments with these people, take chances, cherish the memories and obstacles, take it all in and learn from it. 

-Kbeautifulmind