I think I rather stay in the dark; where I feel safe, guarded and in control. Instead of coming out to the light, putting my heart on the line, and getting hurt again.



Please don’t let me get one of those…

Today I want to talk about cheating.

I know it’s sadly pretty normal now in days in today’s society, but is it really a fairy tale to hope for someone who only has eye’s for you?


I went to my first Dodger game of the season, since I’m finally out of school for the summer and I LOVE my boys in blue.


While enjoying my Friday night, I experienced a very awkward situation. I had experienced stuff like this before, however sitting there for three hours feeling WEIRD, really pissed me off.

And all I could think was… “Lord, all I ask is that you please don’t let me get one of those.”

Anyway, to my story…

So I’m sitting their watching the Game with my brother and this man keeps looking at me. Not looking at me like I look familiar, or like there is something on my face. Looking at me, like in his mind he was un dressing me with his eyes, and he was imagining exactly what he could do with me if he had the chance. I discreetly watched him as he’d check out the tits on another girl, the ass and hips on another one. But since I was in the row in front of him and his FAMILY to the side, he’d watch the game, look over at me, and smile.

Now his family was pretty big, he had three boys and a beautiful little girl about age five. His wife was very pretty, but insecurity and discomfort bleed through her pours.
I could tell just by analyzing them, he was a cheater and she dealt with it.
She looked over at me a couple of times as she watched him look, and would just look down on her phone.
I paid no attention to him, never once gave him the attention he was looking for, and one time I even gave him a dirty look.
Because he was dirty to me, and it was very upsetting to see how he was acting.

I wanted to tell him something so bad!
I wanted to tell her, “You are SO BEAUTIFUL, why do you allow this?”

But all I could do was pray, and in that moment I said to god.
“Look god, I KNOW cheating is pretty normal nowindays, and MAYBE we humans were not meant to be tied down to one person since we seem to get bored easily, BUT some of us really do desire a healthy marriage and a team mate who only has eye’s for us. Now I know to an extent it’s normal to look, we all do it BUT please, please god, if marriage is in my destiny, don’t let me get one of those.”

What scares me and makes me want to shut down is that I see it all the time…

On Facebook I have friend’s who shout out their men with statuses like “You are the best husband I could ever ask for.”
Yet we know he sleeps around.

On instagram woman quote to be so happy with their men…
Yet he is sending private messages to us single girls, and has no pictures of her on his IG.

Of course in part, those single girls who go along with it are JUST as wrong, but in the end it’s no one’s fault that his eyes are wondering and his mind wants to act on it.

Love is one of the scariest things in the world.
I use to love the idea of falling in love so much, and the thought of meeting the one would make me so happy.

If I’m being honest, now it scares the crap out of me.

I no longer desire marriage and kids as much as I use to.


Appearance is the first level of attraction.
However, looks can only go so far.
Your personality, lack of being able to keep a interesting conversation going, attitude towards life, and lack of ambition will quickly turn off a smart woman.

Don’t get too comfortable, based on your appearance.



He woke up and it was too darn early…
The alarm kept going off.
It was a gloomy morning, and it looked like it was going to rain.

He looked next to him and there she was, naked, laying on her stomach, with her curly hair all over the place.
As he watched her breathe and sleep so peacefully he could still see the scars on her back from the knife of her previous lover.
He caressed them softly and thought…

“I want to protect her. I could truly love her someday, I want to be the one to heal that heart so that she never feels pain again.”

She woke up, turned and looked at him.

“Good morning!” He said.

“Good morning handsome,” and she smiled.

“Have you been awake this whole time?”

“No, but I did wake up before you and I was just thinking, as I watched you sleep…”


“I was wondering… do you still feel the pain? Do you still remember him?”

She paused and saw it all in her head again, but it no longer moved her.

“I’ll never forget; How can you forget one of the most memorable lessons of your life?
You can’t, the lessons of life are our best teachers.” She smiled and kissed him softly.

In that moment he knew…
He knew that he could truly in deed love her someday, and that she would sincerely love him back and also heal his wounds.

“The broken pair”


He’s been hurt

He’s been hurt, and he’s still hurting.
But I can’t do this again, I’ve done this before.
I can’t fix him.
I want to, but I can’t.
Fixing another broken heart can cause me to break my own heart again.
Once he is healed, he’ll pack up and leave me.
I can’t fix him.
I want to, but I can’t bare going through this again.

Woman Crush Wednesday
You give her a shout-out, you say she’s the one.
But what does that do when your screwing other ones?
got damn you got nerve…
Choose one, stick with her, man prove something!
Don’t be lying on her, woman can see your bull shit.
She has stuck around because she cares, not because she’s dumb and doesn’t know the games you’re playing.
If you can’t man up then let her go, and watch someone else appreciate her.
Don’t lose her, she’s YOUR girl!
Do you care?
Your heart would never lie to you.
Listen to it.
There will always be plenty of bad chick’s out there, but you’ll never be happy till you love one.



…and it was in that moment, as she sat underneath that beautiful tree that she felt true peace and  happiness in her heart. It was the breeze of the wind in her hair, and the the way the sun peeked through the beautiful flowers and touched her skin, that made her see that she will never be alone.
For her angel will always be there with her, right by her side.

The one that got away…

Never commit to someone if you’re truly not ready due to self development.
However, don’t fear commitment because your afraid you might not be ready to settle down with one person.
In other words, let them go if you’re okay with the fact that you might not get them back.
You see, the universe doesn’t bring you the right person when YOU are ready, because no one is EVER ready for change.
The universe brings them when the time seems right.
If you let them go knowing they are what you will want “someday,” someday might come and as you’re ready for them they may be in the arms of the one that realized their worth and was willing to take that chance with them.


The good are watching too…

Some men and women seem to feel so proud while trashy women/men want them, when they are in a relationship.
I mean yeah, that’s awesome!
Go ahead play the game, lose the one you love for those five minutes of pleasure. Lose the good girl/guy, the one who has stood by your side, for the easy, wild, and free party girl or “rich” party guy.
Just remember, as those same women/men desired you for the way they see you treat your main. Your guy/girl friends/other men and women were also watching how your main treated you.
Only thing with real worthy men/women is that they patiently wait till you lose, then they move in with the goal to conquer your home and replace your place in their hearts for good.